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RE: Sharing of advice - 1/12/2008 12:31:37 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

your first point is a very good and important one. Beeing this relation the same as others

(in reply to SayaNereida)

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Post #: 21

RE: Sharing of advice - 1/12/2008 12:32:08 PM

MasterHX

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline

1) Figure out what your limits are, and stick to them until you're ready to have them pushed. They shouldn't be negotiable - that's why they're called limits, and not guidelines.
2) Respect is earned, not granted just because someone has a capital letter at the beginning of thier nickname.
3) Be wary of people offering advice on what a "true submissive/slave" should be/do/accept.
4) If you meet someone IRL, be paranoid - get real names, phone number, address... leave the info with a friend just in case something bad happens. Bad people exist, and this unfortunately is an excellent way for one of them to meet others.
5) You will make mistakes. Learn from them, and grow. Don't lose the experience just because you didn't like it's means of delivery.
6) This one's a freebie - don't be afraid to say you don't know or understand what something is. Dominants have a common trait that we absolutely love to share our wisdom, and will be more than willing to impart it upon you, as is evidenced by this thread.

MasterHX

(in reply to Justme696)

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Post #: 22

RE: Sharing of advice - 1/12/2008 12:37:32 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SCExecutiveSub

Hello everyone,
If you had 5 pieces of advice/comments to make to a fairly new submissive what would they be?
Thank you in advance for any responses - girlie

1. Take your time. There isn't a "Race to the Collar" going on.
2. Figure out the areas in your life that aren't up for negotiation (how often you get to see family, etc) and make sure that is known upfront.
3. Don't get caught up in the labels.
4. Don't trust anyone to be an all-knowing source of information.
5. Realize that most statements along the lines of "All real doms/masters/owners/mistresses/slaves/pets/submissives/sluts do X,Y, or Z" are probably false.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SCExecutiveSub)

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Post #: 23

RE: Sharing of advice - 1/12/2008 1:18:09 PM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

1. There is no right way or wrong way to feel,
feelings are just that> your feelings. Respect them and it is ok to ask others to respect them as well.

2. Listen to, and follow, your gut instincts.

3. There is a big difference between being with someone who is controlling and being with someone who is in control. One is domineering and one is dominant. If the person or relationship tries to make you weakened, powerless, isolated and/or fearful> it is a warning flag.

4. Don't "fake it" ! whether it's TRUST....Respect..Orgasms..Desires..Likes or dislikes...etc. It's either there or it's not, yet ( yet ~ added because things evolve)....

5. Communication is essential and from both ( or all ) parties invovled. Personal honesty first and foremost and then openness even when it is hard to do.

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to SCExecutiveSub)

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Post #: 24

RE: Sharing of advice - 1/12/2008 2:00:26 PM

Macslittleimp

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/12/2007
Status: offline

1. submissive does not equal stupid
2. you have a voice, don't be afraid to use it
3. yes you have limits... everyone on this planet does
4. if something just doesn't "feel right", it probably isn't
5. believe only half of what you hear, and more of what you witness with your own eyes

_____________________________

"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous

(in reply to SayaNereida)

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Post #: 25

RE: Sharing of advice - 1/12/2008 2:42:34 PM

SCExecutiveSub

Posts: 10
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline

Interestingly, I did meet one at a local place, and to my surprise I was attacked in the parking lot. I learned a lot from that.....sad, but taught me a lesson I will not soon forget.

(in reply to Justme696)

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Post #: 26