Sharing of advice

Sharing of advice (Full Version)

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SCExecutiveSub -> Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 7:20:28 AM)
Hello everyone, If you had 5 pieces of advice/comments to make to a fairly new submissive what would they be? Thank you in advance for any responses - girlie

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 7:28:27 AM)
be cautious be aware be safe be yourself be honest (communicate)

Elorin -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 7:56:30 AM)
Take your time Develop trust Learn what a safe word is Never be afraid to ask questions Don't be afraid if you don't fit a stereotype.

sexyred1 -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:00:04 AM)
don't trust people easily learn about yourself and what you really want and need first don't listen to the advice of people on a message board or take it as gospel don't get caught up in sub frenzy and get crazy over the attention you will get don't think that being a submissive means you deserve no respect or means you do not expect to have you own needs met

velvetears -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:03:39 AM)
know your boundaries and enforce them no matter how wrapped up emotionally you might get. Trust someone thoroughly before allowing them to put you into bondage or do anything that could be damaging/harnful Realize that safewords do not replace common sense and building trust If he hides in any way he's probably married - run and run fast (doesn't give you his phone number to his house, you can only call him certain times, he logs out the same time and quickly each time you and he are online, etc) Don't be intimidated, if you're not comfortable with something and say so - don't let phrases like - Well your not really submissive if you don't (xyz)...... That's just manipluation. i could go on but you asked for 5 [:D]

OsideGirl -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:10:03 AM)
1) Until you've made the conscious decision to become someone's submissive, you belong to no one but yourself. Which means you make the decision on what you do and what you say. You do not have to follow the orders of every Tom, Dick and Harry that labels himself as a dominant. 2) Don't do things that you're uncomfortable with simply because someone tells you that you're "not a real submissive" if you don't. 3) Patience. You can't do everything in the BDSM D/s realm in a weekend. Good relationships take time and effort. They don't just magically happen. 4) Things happen in BDSM D/s that are just like dating in the vanilla world. 5) Negotiate and communicate. You have that right. Excercise it.

LadyHathor -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:10:18 AM)
*1. Be careful* *2. Believe non of what you hear and half of what you see* *3. You are not someone's submissive until YOU agree to be* *4. Keep your self in tact* *5. Don't be afraid so say thanks but no thanks*

juliaoceania -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:31:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SCExecutiveSub Hello everyone, If you had 5 pieces of advice/comments to make to a fairly new submissive what would they be? Thank you in advance for any responses - girlie 1) Talk to a lot of dominants before submitting to any of them, take your time. 2) Define yourself, do not let anyone else define you without your permission (ie, wankers telling you a "real" submissive would do things you do not want to do). 3) Do not settle for less than you want, your happiness is important, otherwise why bother? 4) These sorts of relationships take the same skills your vanilla ones did (communication, eventual trust, honesty and openness). 5) Most important *Trust yourself and your intuition and run from anyone that tells you not to.*

SCExecutiveSub -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:44:05 AM)
Thank you all for responding!

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 8:50:35 AM)
Enjoy!

darchChylde -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 9:06:21 AM)
this is more to the male subs, but there will be crossover 1) when dealing with a dominant woman, don't forget the woman in the the dominant 2) she's likely not going to be interested in a picture of your cock 3) saying you're "no limits" can be a very bad idea, at best you won't be taken seriously and at worst, you will 4) get to know her and let her get to know you before you get straight to your fantasies... small talk counts big 5) and like everyone else says. be yourself; this just plain cannot be said enough

tinoketsheli -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 9:54:51 AM)
Everyone else gave great advice (I like your number 3 DC) no matter what though dont forget that this is about two people potentially connecting in one most intimate and special ways possible. And be sure to have fun!!!!! Its a wonderful thing to be new at in my opinion and when you find someone who matches your needs and is the right person for the job you will have the time of your life!

MadRabbit -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 10:04:35 AM)
1. You have limits. 2. You have rights. 3. You don't have to be released. You can just leave. 4. You are hopefully a grown man or woman with some life experience and common sense. Don't forget that. 5. You have hopefully had relationships and dated before. Don't forget that. There isn't a huge difference between those and these.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 10:15:21 AM)
1) Wait six months before making a commitment to anyone 2) "these links" My advice for Novice Female Submissives Newbie! At a loss I'm a new domme seeking advice Does a slave also have to be a fool? sub: totally new concept Questions for other newbies The Journey Starting Out New to the Life, Help How to deal? Request for Advice Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master? First time sub seeking advice a newbie seeking advice How can I be a great sub? Brand new life Help needed Emotional Rollercoaster Welcoming newbies New to this Just a few questions Do's and Dont's

cherrypez -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 10:42:41 AM)
1.) Patience in finding the partner 2.) Keep you mind open a closed mind never learns and grows 3.) Be tolerant of other's ideas, just because it's not your kink doesn't make it wrong 4.) SSC can include asking a Dom to wear a condom 5.) A safe word is won't work if the Dom chooses to continue, trust works better than the safe word.

Tigrita -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 11:19:21 AM)
1. Know yourself 2. Listen to your instincts 3. Pay no atention to labels, go with what you feel 4. Don't get sucked into someone else's agenda (until you're sure their agenda is compatible with yours and is what you want.) 5. Be as cautious as you can with your safety and your heart. But realize that you first have to trust yourself (and your judgment), and then trust another, to get the most out of this. So don't play games. And if and when you get hurt anyway, dust yourself off and give it another go, a little wiser this time.

domiguy -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 11:35:20 AM)
1. Come to Domiguy 2. Come to Domiguy 3. Come to Domiguy 4. Come to Domiguy 5. If you are wearing something silly on your head please remove it before acting on 1-4.

TigressFL -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 11:37:59 AM)
1. Do not allow your chosen role to prevent you from exploring or engaging in anything kinky or fun because someone else thinks a submissive should not do it. 2. Remember you role is only part of you it is not your identity. 3. Do not allow and/or expect others to speak to you or treat you like they own you without your & their consent. 4. Keep your expectations of yourself and others realistc. 5. Attend munches, groups and events in the real world. Edit: Missing word

Justme696 -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 11:38:49 AM)
Not 5 pieces of advise, but 1 important IF you meet some one in real. Meet first several times in public to just talk and get eachother known. Then i would suggest a hotel were more people are..but then you have to bring your toys. Just don't go emmediately to the house of a stranger..unless you can leave behind an address

SayaNereida -> RE: Sharing of advice (1/12/2008 12:25:38 PM)
1. This 'type' of relationship is no different than any other type; most of the same 'rules' still apply...take time to get to know the person. 2. Trust, like any other relationship is a corner stone. 3. Communication 4. Respect yourself, your partner and your relationship 5. If a relationship doesn't work, it may have no bearing on whether you are a good sub or he/she a good Dom, it is more likely the 2 of you just don't fit; there is someone out there that is a good fit for everyone, keep looking as don't settle. (hmm would that be 6??) Saya

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