Is this what you call Poly?

Is this what you call Poly? (Full Version)

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fit2pleaseu -> Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 11:53:15 AM)
I would like to know more about this situation that i am in please. Does being a sub for a Mistress who is married to a Dom husband that has his own subbie constitute being part of a poly relationship. My contract does state that i may be required to assist "Hubby" on the odd occasion...he is also straight. We all get on very well and seem to becoming good friends also Mistress tend to think that this is not really a poly relationship but i was just wondering other peoples thoughts.

batshalom -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 11:54:26 AM)
Seems like poly to me ... but as with everything else, it is open to interpretation by those who are living it.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 11:55:30 AM)
Why question it? So what if it is? Or what if it wasn't?

fr3ddy25 -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 12:00:24 PM)
Poly to me, is more than one loving relationship, that is AGREED upon by everyone involved. If everyone is in agreement in these relationships, then it's poly. But your mileage may vary, and there are so many different definitions of a poly relationship. I am currently involved in 2 long distance relationships that are poly. My bf is also dating my girlfriend, so it's a bit of a triad going on. My gf is also my Domme as well. We share every bit of info between eachother regarding new people that come into our lives. There's no hiding new friend/love interests, as that would be cheating, in OUR opinions. Hope that all works well for you. fr3ddy25

MadameButterfly -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 12:23:53 PM)
There are varrying forms of poly relationships... however... I want to point out that lables in this lifestyle can be damaging and are not neccesary. If your Mistress chooses to not lable the dynamics of your household then one should be accepting of that. I know it is hard and when we first start out we tend to want to understand & "know" everything about our changing lives. My suggestion is to ask your Mistress for clarification regarding the situation and once she has explained her views decide from their to accept or decline her views on the current lables of the household.

thetammyjo -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 1:50:07 PM)
In my book, you are not part of a poly household or unit. You on a personal level may decide to be monogamous but as long as your mistress has other parters and is honest with you about that, then you are in a poly relationship. Let me use a personal example. Fox has zero interest in having sexual contact with anyone other than me so he considers himself to be personally monogamous however because he is part of this family he considers himself part of a poly family. I would disagree by the way with his identity as monogamous -- I think that getting off when you are in bondage or helping another in bondage get off qualifies as sex but he was raised a very conservative boy and finds it a bit difficult to see anything that isn't penetration as "sex".

fr3ddy25 -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 3:40:55 PM)
On further thought, I would say that it would definitely be considered a Leather Family, not necessarily poly. I guess if all involved are ok with what is going on, then why the NEED for labels. Just enjoy the togetherness. fr3ddy25

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 3:49:18 PM)
Leave the labels at the door. If it's workin' right....................it is. That doesn't mean you shouldn't carefully consider this all and stay SSC/RACK, however. In the spirit of good communication, seems to me that getting all 4 in the room and defining what 'this' will be is key and priority. No matter what, best o' luck! tips his hat - Mr. S P.S. Sure sounds poly-ish to me.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 4:11:14 PM)
Agree with TammyJo- the wife and husband are poly, they have multiple simultaneous intimate relationships. You are monogamous to the wife and have merely a casual connection to the husband.

Phin -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 6:34:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fr3ddy25 I guess if all involved are ok with what is going on, then why the NEED for labels. Just enjoy the togetherness. fr3ddy25 you dont even need us, you got it right there [:)]

submissvefeMALED -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/9/2008 8:41:58 PM)
Perhpas you are on to a more spirtual, more intimate relationship. One of sacrafice and love. Just a thought.

fit2pleaseu -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 12:54:36 AM)
Interesting thoughts..not hung up on labels just curious about how people interpret things. Seems it is poly for my Mistress and her husband only!

DesFIP -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 8:53:03 AM)
If you only have sex with her, while she has sex with both of you, then she is poly and you are monogamous. That would be the appropriate label. But it certainly doesn't explain the relationship between all of you. It just refers to the sex part.

shadowmate -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 10:52:29 AM)
To me poly is when there are three or more involved. There was a time when I was collared to a married Man and I lived with Him and His wife. I was His in -every- way and hers only in the domestic type of way, so in a sense I was not just His, I was hers too, but only domestically for her.

adon58 -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 1:17:06 PM)
In accordance with Article 17, Section 4 (3.1.10 ) (a): It is a poly only if the Dom Husband's subbie is married herself to a Dom Husband who has a subbie, and you occasionally stand-in for aformentioned subbie and furthemore, provided that afformentioned subbie also serves your Mistress .

darchChylde -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 1:28:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fit2pleaseu I would like to know more about this situation that i am in please. Does being a sub for a Mistress who is married to a Dom husband that has his own subbie constitute being part of a poly relationship. My contract does state that i may be required to assist "Hubby" on the odd occasion...he is also straight. We all get on very well and seem to becoming good friends also Mistress tend to think that this is not really a poly relationship but i was just wondering other peoples thoughts. this is exactly the situation i am in, and i personally see myself as a monogamous member (currently) od a poly family... but as polyamorous actually means "many loves" not "many lovers" and i do truly love every member of our family, it can also be easily argued that i am also polyamorous in the end, these are labels and the only ones that matter are the ones that you and your family choose to stick to your lapels by the way, if you ever want to talk or chat with someone in the same boat with you; feel free to send me some cm mail if your dominant allows it, i'm sure that we both have some insights and experience that may help each other

fr3ddy25 -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 1:34:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If you only have sex with her, while she has sex with both of you, then she is poly and you are monogamous. That would be the appropriate label. But it certainly doesn't explain the relationship between all of you. It just refers to the sex part. The thing is that poly is not all about the sex. It's about loving/committed relationships. You can have mono or poly relationships that don't center around sex.

fr3ddy25 -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 1:38:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adon58 In accordance with Article 17, Section 4 (3.1.10 ) (a): It is a poly only if the Dom Husband's subbie is married herself to a Dom Husband who has a subbie, and you occasionally stand-in for aformentioned subbie and furthemore, provided that afformentioned subbie also serves your Mistress . adon58, Where is this article located? I've never heard of any rules or laws concerning it. I'm curious to read what they say. I always like keeping on top of stuff like this. Thanks!

CreativeDominant -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/10/2008 2:04:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fit2pleaseu I would like to know more about this situation that i am in please. Does being a sub for a Mistress who is married to a Dom husband that has his own subbie constitute being part of a poly relationship. My contract does state that i may be required to assist "Hubby" on the odd occasion...he is also straight. We all get on very well and seem to becoming good friends also Mistress tend to think that this is not really a poly relationship but i was just wondering other peoples thoughts. If it really has to be defined, then I would go with LA's definition of you and your relationship to the Mistress and the definition of your Mistress and her husband. I tend to view poly as any situation in which every member in the relationship is involved with more than one other partner in the relationship. For me, there has to be a relationship that involves something other than the sex and/or BDSM aspects...there is a relationship at some other level, whether it be D/s or girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. If I share my submissive with another dominant but only for an occasional scene while I play with his submissive and we have no other involvement with them, I don't consider the 4 of us to be a poly unit, I consider the 4 of us to be "swinging" within the dynamics of our individual D/s relationships. But...that's MY view. Your view may differ...

fit2pleaseu -> RE: Is this what you call Poly? (1/13/2008 9:12:04 PM)
Hey thanks for all of your replies its cool to know people are interested enough to post some thoughts. Speaking of which i have another...what if i am to play with my Mistress and her husband in a purely hetero sense and or the Husbands subbie as well? Is that anymore poly?

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