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Papa4lilboy -> Humiliation/degradation/embarrasment confusion (1/4/2008 6:15:57 AM)
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There was a really great question from parttimehottie and fantastic answer from CreativeDominant in another post that I have quote below. I have cut a couple of sentences to make it more concise. (indicated with <snip>)
This seems to hit a chord with me. Since I enjoy infantalism, sissification, watersports, and a little scat, humiliation and degradation are normally involved. But I think until I read the post quoted below, I didn't realize that people would identify them differently (can you say newbie?). I think there is much more to humiliation that just verbal abuse (hence the new thread). Forcing a man to wear womens panties can be a great turn on for some subs. Humiliation or degradation? Diapers could certainly be degradgirdation to some and humiliation to others. Is failure to be in control humiliating, degrading, both or neither? For me it is erotic taking away some of the most basic adult privileges but I haven't figured out why. Spanking is another one that seems to be difficult to define. Is degrading or humilating or something else? If I take a sub out in public with a somewhat obivous wet spot on the front of his/her pants that makes it look like they wet their pants. Definately embarrasing, but would you call it degrading or humiliation. Is it humiliation if the sub is turned on and degrading if they feel inferior? Thoughts?
Several subjects here, but I am more interested in defining the differences in what people call humiliation and what people would discern as degrading. In knowing what other perceive in the terms, I might be able to discuss with subs so I don't cross a line were the treatment becomes something they didn't desire when they say they crave humiliation.
Since I am new at posting. Please let me know if I am in the wrong forum.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
quote:
ORIGINAL: parttimehotty
<snip>
Humiliation.....when you humiliate a sub/or slave about their looks, ie calling them ugly/or fat, is this something you mean when you say it or is it something you enjoy doing and will verbally humilate despite the fact that it's true or not?
Respectfully
<snip>
I see humiliation and degradation as two very differing things.
If humiliation does indeed make the submissive humble while arousing her sexuality and/or her submission, then I consider it to be humiliation. It does not harm her emotionally or physically or spiritually...instead, it uplifts her, makes her feel...in what I grant you, many see as a paradox...like she is "more" (whatever the more is...sexier, sluttier, hotter, submissive) than she felt before. It works.
Degradation. If I say or do something that leaves a submissive feeling less than what they are and that feeling now becomes one of permanence, if I say or do something that leaves physical, emotional, spiritual harm in its wake in the name of humiliation, then I have not used humiliation...I have used degradation. Degradation has mean-spiritedness at its' core...not a desire to humble one's submissive but rather, to take their basic foundations and beliefs out from under her, to harm her.
Now, this is where it comes down to what is really important in this...knowing your submissive. As sunshine miss noted, using terms such as "cocksucker" or "fuck toy" would not have much of an effect on her but, make her beg to be allowed to suck your cock and she immediately feels that good kind of humiliation. For someone else, it may be just the opposite. Or you can have a case where one submissive's uplifting/turn-me-on humiliation is another submissive's harmful/tear-me-down-and-give-me-a-complex degradation. You do have to know your partner.
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