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How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 3:51:49 PM   
eevin


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline 		i know this is, more than likly, an extremely comon discussion that i could easily do a search though the forums for, but i have a feeling it will leave me a little less satisfied than asking the qestions myself.

i've seen threads where people talk about how someone is "real" or "genuine".  Or not.  But how do Y/you tell?

i ask because there's days i doubt myself and wonder if what i think i'm looking for really isn't, and that the way i portray myself may not be who i really am.  But, of course, i'm looking at myself from a completely different perspective than my friends, or even how complete stranges view me.

< Message edited by eevin -- 1/2/2008 3:59:24 PM >

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 3:58:15 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings eevin,

i just have instinct. it's not so great online - and sometimes even in real life it can be more about my personal reaction to someone rather than whether they are "real" or not (for example, i've had really negative gut reactions to perfectly nice, intelligent, kind people before and just could not be around them) - but i still try to employ it as much as i can anyway. usually i'm not too worried about whether someone's "real" or "fake," though. as long as we are relating and having a good conversation and they're not creeping me out and/or asking weird shit right off the bat, they pass my real, twue human being test. :)

respectfully,
annabelle.


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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 4:17:34 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		The only people on this site (or any other) that I would out and out label "fake" are those folk out there posing as whatever in order to run a scam. And those I call outright liars (ie- not necessarily running a scam, just lying about themselves).

You can usually tell a scam by the illogic of their story. If it seems like an unlikely story, it probably is a scam. I've been able to tell liars from the fact that there are usually holes in any liar's story. I tend to ask a lot of questions in the getting to know you phase and I try to remember details. Mostly because detail can be important. But it's good also in case you run into one of these liars.

Other than that, it's all a matter of personal taste and subjective definition. For instance, most people in the community I've spoken to have at some point met someone who claimed to be a very "heavy player/masochist/sadist" and when the actual play gets underway, all of a sudden that "heavy player" turns out to be the softest touch. Well, even that kind of hard evidence doesn't mean the person is fake. It could mean that they had not yet encountered someone who could out-play them.

Or, it's possible to encounter someone who claims, as I do, to value some "Old Guard" values. Some people might interpret that to mean something that I do not. They may read it and immediately believe that part of my protocol would be to always have my slave walk one step behind me and to my left. And they would be incorrect. That does not mean that either I or the other person is fake. Just that they do not have a clear understanding of how I have integrated "Old Guard" values into my Dom style.

Anyway, hope that helps to answer the question some. Best to you.


MNN

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 4:28:17 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Stop looking until you figure yourself out.

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 4:55:33 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		What is real and genuine, how can I tell?

I weigh how real someone is when I meet them. Are they forthcoming about their personal info? Do they act as though they have something to hide? Are they open?

If those questions are answered satisfactorily, does my intuition tell me they are genuine? Real is easy to determine, genuine is not always as easy

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 5:09:48 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.agencyscams.com/Scam.html

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 5:22:59 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I just ask.
"Hey, are you "genuine?"
"Yup."
"OK".
Now me, I'm a fake!

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 6:19:55 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Just think of CM as fun and frivolous…. never expect too much and be pleasantly surprised if you meet someone you like.
Butch

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 6:23:07 PM   
agoodgirl4Daddy


Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline 		hmmmmmmmmm....let me tell you a little story...

After a few weeks of getting to know one another, I made plans with a collarme.com "Dominant" to meet up this past Sunday, and I drove 3 1/2 hours in the rain, and spent almost $250 on hotel, gas, and boarding my pets.  This guy had an "excuse":  his ex-wife and kids' home was broken into, though maintained that he would be able to meet me at the pre-arranged time, 7:00 pm. 

After 9:00 pm, i get a voicemail (the variety that enables you to leave a message for someone without actually having their phone ring - God forbid you have to talk to them if they pick up their phone!!). 

The voicemail says, (and i'm paraphrasing):  "I'm so sorry.  I'm running late.  I'm taking the kids and their mother to a hotel.  It will take about an hour, and I'll call you when I've settled them in.  And don't worry about the hotel room.  I'm paying for that."

I hear nothing the rest of the night...or in the morning.  I decide to check out of the hotel, so I call this person and leave a message that says (again, i'm paraphrasing):  "I'm checking out at 11:00 AM, so if you meant what you said, i'd appreciate you paying for my room."  He doesn't show up to pay for the room!!  Go Figure!!

I decide to see if I can get in touch with him at the hotel where he says he is staying.  Just in case he dropped his Blackberry in the toilet...where he'd dropped his cell phone a week or so earlier!  The hotel says that there is no one with his name registered.  OMY!!!!

After a few texts and some voicemails from me, at 6:30 PM Monday night, I get another voicemail (and again, he left the type of message so that my phone didn't ring) that says, "I'll be available to talk at 7:30..7:45 would be better."   When I call at 7:50 (yeah, i was 5 whole minutes late..lol), I get no answer so I leave a message.  He doesn't return my voicemail or text message.

Now, I've left this person an email on collarme.com and offline IMs at Yahoo with my address and the total of what it cost me to get stood up. 

The heck with whether this person is "real" or "fake"....I wanna find out if  he has any integrity and honor!  I'm not counting on it.    


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~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 6:30:23 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		I avoid anything that says "must have cam, msn, yahoo, chat, pay, tributes, online, wants sex, triad, with my bf/parter"

thats like 90% of the profiles

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 7:09:21 PM   
eevin


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline 		popeye and fairytattoodgirl, you both had me laughing (for different reasons, of course).

agoodgirl4Daddy, i feel sorry for the way you were treated.  Mostly what i'm trying to figure out is if i'm trying to be so much what is expcted that i'm not being myself, because i've done that in the past with P/people iv'e been with, acting the way they want or expect me to rather than really being myself.  And i want to break that habbit, so i don't end up hurting someOne or getting myself hurt again.

i suppose its jsut the doubts and worries i feel getting to me.


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Plants are simply slow animals.

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 7:51:06 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		We're all chatbots. All of us. You are the only real human being to exist on the entire internet. We are only a virtual fantasy here to give you people to argue with. Some of the chatbots have crappy heuristics. We call them trolls. The worst trolls were actually spambots that got repatriated after the government sponsored spamnesty program. Those are the ones that keep sending you those annoying emails.


Beep.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 8:06:37 PM   
eevin


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline 		Suliman, are You okay?  i am worried.

Okay, i asked my question because i didn't want to slapped wit that "unreal submissive" lable because there's times that i have trouble feeling submissive, which made me worried that i might really be unreal.  i hope that helps rather than my rambling reply before.


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Plants are simply slow animals.

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 8:27:06 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I just go with my gut instinct.

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 8:34:56 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry, Eevin. I was feeling unnessisarily flippant. You were referring to one of the most annoying of threads, the "twue whatever" thread, as if any of that stuff mattered. More often than not, anyone who uses the term "Real" in the context of "I'm real, you're a fake" is probably best avoided. Both in real life and on the internet, I have found them to be sad and tragic souls who have been embittered by life not being the way they think it should be, leading them to lash out at everyone around them. I remember one lady, about two years ago, who was on these boards insisting that any woman who didn't want to be turned into a baby factory was not a "real" submissive, and any guy with any submissive urges at all wasn't a "real" man. Bah. Pathetic. I save some of my best sarcasm for folks like that.

< Message edited by Suleiman -- 1/2/2008 8:36:04 PM >

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to eevin)
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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/2/2008 11:07:45 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Spamnesty program ?

Oh shit, I never thought ...........

T

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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/3/2008 3:07:45 PM   
MasDom


Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Best case is to just meet with some one, and face to face see if it works out, if your not able to do that then don't bother yourself most people wont give it the chance in the end less you do.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
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RE: How can Y/you tell? - 1/3/2008 5:05:46 PM   
DollysSissyGirl


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		A little off the topic , but finding out others perception of you could be quite eye opening. A practice I have used professionally and personally is simply asking someone to give you a favorable introduction to someone else. Most people who know you would gladly do it. Once they agree ask them bluntly what will you say about me . It is at this point when someone you know is about to introduce you to a perfect stranger will you realize there true opinion of you for good or bad. Hope this was helpful. Have a fantastic day !

Best regards,

sissy

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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m


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