I deserve better

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Missokyst -> I deserve better (1/2/2008 3:12:18 PM)
I didn't make any resolutions this year except for one thing. This year is the start of a new positive attitude about myself. I deserve better than what I have allowed. So today.. the ex made a move on me again and.. I told him no. AND it felt right saying no. I deserve better than what he is offering me. I think I will be ok now. So, those of you out there who are wondering if you can ever get over things and move on, my answer is this, only if you really want to get over it. It is a definite attitude change you sometimes have to force on yourself. We deserve better than half. We deserve better than to be not quite good enough. We deserve to find what makes us happy. In life, and in bdsm. This is probably better in off topic but I put it here for the few who have posted lately about getting over things. Kyst

DesFIP -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 3:23:12 PM)
I'm glad you've come to that conclusion. Because now that you've decided you deserve better, you won't settle for crumbs instead. Good for you.

batshalom -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 3:27:01 PM)
Ohhhhhhhh, someone put herself on the path to recovery! Good job!

domiguy -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 3:54:44 PM)
Actually, I am the one that deserves better.... Just what in the fuck does that mean? Don't you realize that there is only so much "better" to go around? The very "better" you seek could be deleting my supply! Very few people are actually capable of doing the leg work required to get "better." Stating it is never enough. When I was but a Domiboy, I was once in this bar and it was late at night when I proclaimed that I "wanted better." I proceeded to get hammered and ended up fucking some huge disgusting beast of a woman. Same old, same old. Did I deserve better than what the Lord handed me that eve? Fuckin' A!....Damn straight I did! But in recollection there was little or no effort on my part...Minimal conversation, Not sure if I even knew her name. I think she had hair. Oh well, such is life. I deserve better.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 3:54:51 PM)
Huzzah!

dogobedience -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 3:56:31 PM)
NO you got what you deserve! The bitter reality is .....you get what you deserve in the long run! You create the enviroment, the over all you that attracts certain situations. Successful people have failures, learn from them and move on. Unsuccessful people feel sorry for themselves and blame others. They view others who appear to be lucky and successful as just that LUCKY. The more you invest yourself in positive thoughts, the greater the return, BUT that does not happen overnight. Look at it this way. Today you begin a diet. Tomarrow, you loose 0 lbs. The next day you loose 1 lb, the following weeks 2 lbs. Then you gain weight. YOU QUIT. Blame it on the moon, birth parents, friends, time of the month........but never on the cake that you eat whole last night. It is you, it is all about you! Change will happen when you change. To be successful longterm you need to dream longterm. Set up a road map and a goal and write it down.You need to accept failures as building blocks and always focus on the goal. Also do not think that short term and fast success is now the norm, it is usually an anomoly. Consistant positive actions ALWAYS brings great results......it just takes time........... The bitter reality is.... you get what you deserve in the long run! This time you will deserve more BECAUSE you have become more!! Then and only then will you deserve it and keep it..

darchChylde -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 4:22:52 PM)
Missokyst, i applaud you; this goes right along with my own resolution this year; which may have actually been the first resolution i've ever actually made. "No more being unhappy if there is anything i can do to avoid it. including being more proactive about what i will let bother me or what i will dwell on."

Missokyst -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 5:37:13 PM)
:) the one thing I have never done is blame things on anyone besides myself. I am absurdly maso in that way. I have always accepted responsibility for things often beyond my control. But this is in my control. Loving someone does not mean accepting all that they do. Sometimes you just have to acknowlege that no matter what your own mindset is, other people are not in the same space as you. I am sub and I do love him. BUT you can't always get what you want. Right now, by taking a stand, I am getting what I need. A big dose of reality. I know it is going to be difficult but I am a survivor. I will get by. Kyst

completenz -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 5:46:33 PM)
having read some of your posts about him i know how difficult this was for you.... You seem to have finally found the inner strength you need to move on. Well done Kyst, you DO deserve more and, when you feel ready, have fun finding it[;)] hugs chrissie

agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 6:36:04 PM)
Learning from my experiences, good and bad, is what i make every attempt to do. I recently had a bad experience with a "Dominant" i met on collarme.com. I have learned from that experience, and I will be much more thorough in my investigation before agreeing to meet anyone again. I'm not responsible for someone being a total a*#hole, but I am responsible for identifying the lesson in the experience and not repeating it! Good for you, Missokyst! [:D]

laurell3 -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 6:51:18 PM)
Good for you Missokyst! I agree though letting go may be difficult at times, but sometimes it's the best thing for us. Good luck! l

corsetgirl -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 6:54:29 PM)
Congratulations! I would not settle for second best. I am not with anybody, which has been a good experience for me. I have met new people and have made friends in the lifestyle. I have had some bad experiences with doms but have learned to move on because they were not worth my time. At least you know what you want and hope you will find it.

KatyLied -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 6:56:10 PM)
Disengaging is the first step and often the most difficult. The fun part is that you are now free to focus on you and what you want and don't want. And when you let go of that maso "everything is my fault because I'm not perfect" thinking it is so freeing, when you actually come to understand that you don't have to own every bad moment, it's good stuff. It opens up possibilities and significant changes in attitude. I wish you the best.

Missokyst -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 6:57:44 PM)
Thanks to all who replied. I think I have turned the corner at last. Kyst

adoracat -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 7:03:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst :) the one thing I have never done is blame things on anyone besides myself. I am absurdly maso in that way. I have always accepted responsibility for things often beyond my control. But this is in my control. Loving someone does not mean accepting all that they do. Sometimes you just have to acknowlege that no matter what your own mindset is, other people are not in the same space as you. I am sub and I do love him. BUT you can't always get what you want. Right now, by taking a stand, I am getting what I need. A big dose of reality. I know it is going to be difficult but I am a survivor. I will get by. Kyst some people never learn that, that you can love someone and not live with them or their actions. good for you, that you learned to separate the two. hugs kitten

MzMia -> RE: I deserve better (1/2/2008 7:22:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I didn't make any resolutions this year except for one thing. This year is the start of a new positive attitude about myself. I deserve better than what I have allowed. So today.. the ex made a move on me again and.. I told him no. AND it felt right saying no. I deserve better than what he is offering me. I think I will be ok now. So, those of you out there who are wondering if you can ever get over things and move on, my answer is this, only if you really want to get over it. It is a definite attitude change you sometimes have to force on yourself. We deserve better than half. We deserve better than to be not quite good enough. We deserve to find what makes us happy. In life, and in bdsm. This is probably better in off topic but I put it here for the few who have posted lately about getting over things. Kyst [sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif] You do deserve better! I am all for women taking their power and using their power, regardless of whether they are Dominant or submissive. Good for you! Being empowered even when single, is a damn good feeling. Now I am going to dig up Snap and play "I've got the power" and dance naked. [:D] You go Kyst!

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