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Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 5:51:15 PM

ghitaPVH

Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

Im hoping that Ive chatted on here long enough for yall to know Im not really digging around for wank material with this thread...but if it turns into wank material I wont be compleatly disappointed either...heh heh....ok sorry, that was bad. shrugs. anyway, this is actually a serious question and Im trying to help out a friend here and Im at the point where I need to go "SEE, ITS NOT JUST ME!"

Anyway, Im sure this has probably been discussed before, and if anyone knows of any past good (with good examples I mean) threads feel free to post links too.

What Im wondering is, if some of yall could give some specific examples of things your Dominant/Master/Daddy/Top type person does that are pain free or relitively pain free that you still include in your scene that can not necessarily put you into subspace but make you feel that nice warm fuzzy submissive feeling....(or out of scene too, day to day type actions or whatever...hopefully this makes sense)

(ok, Im one of them s types, so I wrote the question in that perspective, feel free for you top types to answer the question from the other side...)

Im trying to be able to say "see, it is possible to practice BDSM and make someone feel submissive without inflicting pain." cept they want to see specifics and how it makes people feel and why.

ghita~

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

Post #: 1

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 6:13:23 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Sex with bondage? And, you know, instead of hitting the restrained girl half his size, there could be any other manner of sexual/teasing/domination/etc. involved? :P

I guess I'd feel stupid listing things off. So many obvious things and there's literature all around the net about sex games. (Pictures and movies, too, if anyone wants to see. :P) Then there's also a million ways to control someone without actually inflicting pain.. even if it's as primal as grapling for control and physically overpowering them to as simple as telling them to get on their knees and bark like a dog.. hell, it can be as practical as "Go buy a book on [medicine/engineering/physics/cooking] and learn it! I'll quiz you on it tommorow" (which actually has the sub doing something with effort.. a truly submissive act!).

Ah wells. I'd rant more, but, meh. Last thing.

These days, it's really easy to find a sub that'll let you beat her. But is that really submission? How many of you can tell your sub to go learn quantum physics and actually have them obey you? Now that's submission!

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 2

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 6:19:20 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Mine has his looks that he'll give me when i know i wasn't supposed to do something (think before i talk, etc), he'll also use a lower tone of voice to let me know what i've done wrong or a normal tone when i've done something well that he's proud of.

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 3

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 6:24:25 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

i rarely beat my slaves or administer pain. i can find plenty of better ways to maintain focus and control. pain is for slaves pleasure in this house, and is not used out of anger or for discipline

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 4

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 7:05:45 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

Im hoping that Ive chatted on here long enough for yall to know Im not really digging around for wank material with this thread...but if it turns into wank material I wont be compleatly disappointed either...heh heh....ok sorry, that was bad. shrugs. anyway, this is actually a serious question and Im trying to help out a friend here and Im at the point where I need to go "SEE, ITS NOT JUST ME!"

Anyway, Im sure this has probably been discussed before, and if anyone knows of any past good (with good examples I mean) threads feel free to post links too.

What Im wondering is, if some of yall could give some specific examples of things your Dominant/Master/Daddy/Top type person does that are pain free or relitively pain free that you still include in your scene that can not necessarily put you into subspace but make you feel that nice warm fuzzy submissive feeling....(or out of scene too, day to day type actions or whatever...hopefully this makes sense)

(ok, Im one of them s types, so I wrote the question in that perspective, feel free for you top types to answer the question from the other side...)

Im trying to be able to say "see, it is possible to practice BDSM and make someone feel submissive without inflicting pain." cept they want to see specifics and how it makes people feel and why.

ghita~

These are the best (at the moment):
calling me on the phone and simply saying hi baby.....
calling me on the phone whne he knows I cannot reasonably take the call, thus leaaving a voicemail message. His voice is in my head as the sexiest dirtiest voice I am ever responded to. It will carry an instruction. Instructions vary but the main theme is to go to the toilet andf call him back when I do. I can be in the middle of lecturing or a meeting. or doing family and domestic stuff. When I call him he usually demands that I am masturbating. Listening to a man masturbate on the phone has always been the biggest turn on for me and so it is just mindblowing how much pleasure I knoe I can give him.
(An aside; an aikido master will determine when his training session finishes. Sometimes training sessions to move up a level last a few moments Sometimes, for special novices, they are protracted thus testing the skill.)
I am not in control of how long He wants to listen to me but it is sheer intuition and connection and chemistry that more often than not has ne move the phone back to my apex (ather than my arse) and ask if he is satisfied. There is that moent of power exchange which I hear and I sense, which is pure bliss for me, his slight moan of delight and orgasm is always simaltaeneous.
Getting myself straight again to go back to my professional role is pure eroticism.
hope this helps.......as wank material xxxxx

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/1/2008 7:09:46 PM >

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 5

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 7:47:15 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...Im trying to be able to say "see, it is possible to practice BDSM and make someone feel submissive without inflicting pain." cept they want to see specifics and how it makes people feel and why...

for many folks submission isn't about pain or "feeling" submissive, it's about submitting. period.

in your statement, the practicing of "BDSM" includes the "SM" part with the "BD". unless the "SM" in your version of the acronym stands for "S"lave and "M"aster, Sadism and Masochism is ALOT about pain and how folks interpret the feeling of pain into a pleasurable experience...again, which has squat to do with how some folks submit.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 1/1/2008 7:48:47 PM >

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 6

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 7:57:23 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear ghitaPVH, Ladies and Gentlemen;

A few of my favorite pain free things to do to my slaves/submissives/bottoms:

1.   Sensual strip search (caress with passion and friendly weapons)
2.   Caresses with bunny rabbit fur, burlap, velvet, lace, fish scale'n gloves and or potato
      peeler gloves, grooming mit, scrub items, net scrubs.
3.   Slave's bath -- Original taught as a ritual of washing the skin of an ordinary girl and beginning of the life of a slave; it is very sensual while bound to a handle bar or overhead fixture more for symbolism vs. bondage furniture. Then drying -- all done by the Master.
4.   Ritual shaving -- Having a slave's genitals exposed with a strong light on them, much like a spot light or a 3-way light on high; then wash, clean and shave the pubic hair on the slave
and or submissive/bottom; Dominant shaving the genitals is very arrousing. It is not the same as medical and or fisting.
5.   Enema.
6.   Objectification -- standing like a naked statue--to be admired by a Master.
7.   Towel stacking -- Take wet towels and add on top of one another until it is a bit uncomfortable.
8.    Bondage.
9.   Mind twists -- Blindfolding the victim/subject/slave/submissive/bottom --then make mental suggestions using props to simulate a intense thing; such as drawing the edge of a credit card (dead one/expired preferred) across the skin and squeeze body lotion/hair shampoo/thick liquid soap which has been warmed, as to give the sensation of blood. [Mirror the sensation of a cutting] Ice to numb and let an axe chop on a wood piece on the side and swap a clean apron for a bloody one and put in Thick syrup a fake phallus or fake breast--whatever area is targeted and suggested; in a jar; take off the blindfold and have light towards the victim as to keep the prop fake phallus, etc. vague. Or, anything that will be a mind blower.
I'm sure this will make a good start for a nice pain free session.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 7

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 7:58:13 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

A hand around my throat makes my brain go fuzzy instantly.
Good fuzzy, not lack of oxygen fuzzy. He doesn't even need to hold tightly.
Just touch my skin there.

_____________________________

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 8

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 8:20:25 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

before we begin any type of play, he puts on my play collar and locks it. that elicits a fuzzy!

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 9

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 8:27:53 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

My Dominant will sit across the room naked, letting a creamsickle melt slowly
down their hand in seductive streams, the tempting flow teasing in pause at
a well manicured nail tip, then jumping suddenly with wild abandon to a
colorful splash in the midst of a swirling pool of sticky entrapment. Chills.

Then, if I perform an excellent job at tongue cleaning the carpet, I am allowed
to continue said use of my tongue upon the mesmerizing flavors of the flesh
which lay in glorious invitation before me. Shivers.

Are we all hard and wet now? Very good, carry on. Oh, and Happy New Year.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 10

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 10:02:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Good grief, pretty much 80% of what I do and 100% of what I have done to me these days.

I swore off pain after this summer when realizing I simply do not want to endure that experience of pain unless it is with someone very special or for something very important.

The reality is, the "pain" part of bdsm is really just the easiest and quickest way to get a reaction most of the time- which is why it gets most of the attention.

But anyone who doesn't understand the fullness of submission can be experienced just as much snuggling in bed watching tv all night long as it can trussed up in leather with needles and electricity and whips slicing skin open is just not getting it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 11

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/1/2008 10:11:35 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

I call it sensual torture. He had me lie on the bed and cover my eyes with a towel. He told me to be silent and to lie perfectly still. He turned off the lights and sat on the bedside. He was silent as well.
He had a square of silk and slid it over my body again and again. He would flick it across my nipples, between my thighs, across the back of my knees, the bottom of my feet.
I was so aroused, but had to obey his injunctions for silence and stillness. My skin was on fire and had goose bumps at the same time. I wanted more, wanted hands and mouth, wanted sex and orgasms.
But I couldn’t ask, wasn’t allowed to say a word.
He kept caressing and sliding and flicking that piece of smooth and sensuous cloth. He made me want, made me need but didn’t stop, didn’t change what he was doing.
It went on for a lifetime, an eternity, a night. My breathing was ragged and very loud in the quiet room. My mind was a jumble of pleas and desires, and then, suddenly my mind went still as well. Instead of wanting more, I started to accept what was. Instead of longing for the next slide of cloth, I reveled in what was happening now, this moment was all that mattered, this sensation was all, because it was what he desired to give.
I enjoyed, I was receptive to his whim, I no longer wanted or expected anything.
I believe it was the first time I understood submission.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 12

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:14:02 AM

Peridot

Posts: 78
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

What Im wondering is, if some of yall could give some specific examples of things your Dominant/Master/Daddy/Top type person does that are pain free or relitively pain free that you still include in your scene that can not necessarily put you into subspace but make you feel that nice warm fuzzy submissive feeling....(or out of scene too, day to day type actions or whatever...hopefully this makes sense)

ghita~

Dear Ghita: Seriously and with all due respect - it's called kindness.

A dominant can be caring, affectionate and kind. It's not contradictory, please understand?

Take care of yourself

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 13

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:18:51 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I call it sensual torture. He had me lie on the bed and cover my eyes with a towel. He told me to be silent and to lie perfectly still. He turned off the lights and sat on the bedside. He was silent as well.
He had a square of silk and slid it over my body again and again. He would flick it across my nipples, between my thighs, across the back of my knees, the bottom of my feet.
I was so aroused, but had to obey his injunctions for silence and stillness. My skin was on fire and had goose bumps at the same time. I wanted more, wanted hands and mouth, wanted sex and orgasms.
But I couldn’t ask, wasn’t allowed to say a word.
He kept caressing and sliding and flicking that piece of smooth and sensuous cloth. He made me want, made me need but didn’t stop, didn’t change what he was doing.
It went on for a lifetime, an eternity, a night. My breathing was ragged and very loud in the quiet room. My mind was a jumble of pleas and desires, and then, suddenly my mind went still as well. Instead of wanting more, I started to accept what was. Instead of longing for the next slide of cloth, I reveled in what was happening now, this moment was all that mattered, this sensation was all, because it was what he desired to give.
I enjoyed, I was receptive to his whim, I no longer wanted or expected anything.
I believe it was the first time I understood submission.

This is beautiful. Thank you.
You've captured the feeling so evocatively. This is what Master has always meant when He says to me, "Just BE."

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 14

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:22:07 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

perfection

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 15

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:24:04 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

You can space some women without pain. I really don't care all that much for painsluts-too demanding. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 16

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:25:35 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...Im trying to be able to say "see, it is possible to practice BDSM and make someone feel submissive without inflicting pain." cept they want to see specifics and how it makes people feel and why...

for many folks submission isn't about pain or "feeling" submissive, it's about submitting. period.

in your statement, the practicing of "BDSM" includes the "SM" part with the "BD". unless the "SM" in your version of the acronym stands for "S"lave and "M"aster, Sadism and Masochism is ALOT about pain and how folks interpret the feeling of pain into a pleasurable experience...again, which has squat to do with how some folks submit.

Submission is about serving the team. Submitting to sensation for it's own sake is just SM.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 17

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:30:40 AM

TMaster2

Posts: 194
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

How many of you can tell your sub to go learn quantum physics and actually have them obey you? Now that's submission!

I'm in it more for the String Theory. That leaves her bound both mentally and physically.

_____________________________

Doms/Masters Who are also Gods, CLICK HERE!

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 18

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:38:06 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

This is beautiful. Thank you.

I am very glad you liked what I had to share!

quote:

This is what Master has always meant when He says to me, "Just BE."

Yes, easier said than done sometimes but what a wonderful place “to be”!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 19

RE: Pain Free BDSM - 1/2/2008 7:41:04 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
perfection

~smiles and blushes~ Thank-you LaTigresse!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 20

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