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Obedience Training - 1/1/2008 2:32:35 AM   
PagerNY


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Help me here.  I know a lot about D/s, B/d and so forth, but am having a hard time with this one area - Obedience Training.  My gf/submisive/more is very much into this and I need some help as to providing her with it.  Tell me, what does it entail and how does one go about it. 
Any help is greatly appreciated.
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RE: Obedience Training - 1/1/2008 2:47:16 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		what does your gf/submissive/more say it is to her?

peace

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/1/2008 4:24:09 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yes- is she already obedient and just wants ways to express it, or does she need serious help in becoming well disciplined and obedience?

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/1/2008 4:55:17 AM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hit the web and read what others with more experience have written about it.

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/1/2008 5:01:11 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		The gist of it?  She wants you to set some rules, or 'expectations' for those who can't deal with the connotations of grown ups having 'rules'... and stick to them or there will be consequences.  In other words don't be indescive...if you want her to wear green on Fridays, green it must be. 



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RE: Obedience Training - 1/2/2008 4:08:41 AM   
PagerNY


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		She does not have the definition, but wants it.  That is why it is hard for me to create it.  I need some ideas on what to do.
Thanks.

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/2/2008 4:09:41 AM   
PagerNY


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		She is obedient and well trained and eager to please.  But wants the training and even more training - that is where I wish help on what and how.
Pager.

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/2/2008 4:49:13 AM   
Anarrus


Posts: 475
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PagerNY

Help me here.  I know a lot about D/s, B/d and so forth, but am having a hard time with this one area - Obedience Training.  My gf/submisive/more is very much into this and I need some help as to providing her with it.  Tell me, what does it entail and how does one go about it. 
Any help is greatly appreciated.


There's a lot of information about this topic. Simply do a search.
But, you are the dominant. What is it that pleases you in the relationship and most importantly..where do you want to take it and what is important to you? 
Teach your girl the difference between her "wants" and her "needs".
Granted, there can be some give and take in all of it, but you're the dominant and you should lead the way. Good luck in finding it.

Anarrus

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/2/2008 3:20:01 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		You are doing the correct thing, seeking out knowledge.

The beauty of this lifestyle is it's many forms.

You have the added advantage of a living breathing girl who you can work on and with face to face. Few ever get past cyberplay/phone. 

Enjoy the journey and play safe! 

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I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 4:35:46 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petronius

Hit the web and read what others with more experience have written about it.


Ummm... yeah. I think this counts.

Jasmyn has the right idea. Come up with some rules. Make a few of them wierd, make a few of them difficult, but mostly make them basic. Once you've got them, make sure she knows about them, then enforce them. It can be lots of fun. I like wierd rules, myself. Make her toast the health of Emperor Norton whenever she is drinking in public. Make her pick all the red M&Ms out of the bowl before serving them to you. Not difficult stuff, not even kinky stuff, but odd, unusual demands that are out of the ordinary and make her pay a little more attention to what she's doing. Give her some rules that are useful to you. Once, I was required to always carry a pen. I like to know that there is going to be coffee ready when I want it. That sort of thing. Again, nothing nessisarily kinky or difficult. Kinky stuff and difficult stuff should be in there too, but that's between you and her. These are all just suggestions any way.


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RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 5:14:25 PM   
Midearthtrainer


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		Start out with some simple things. Go through the things you do, all week. Pick out those that are reoccurring. Then have her do those things, the way you like them to be done. REMEMBER, BE CONSISTENT in what you do.  Start out simple and find out what works. Modify what doesn't work. Do not try something for a time or two, make sure it is at least two weeks before you reevaluate whether or not it is working. It takes time to adjust. Give her that time, making sure it is done to your specifications, EVERY time.  It is better to add things one at a time, than to go hog wild and then, retract or restart because too many things don't work.  Simple, Consistent and Demanding Perfection in all the everyday things she does. Be they for you, or not, she will represent you in ALL ways. Pleasing comes in many forms, find the ones that suit you and stick to them. Only when they have a solid foundation, then build on them. 

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 5:19:40 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		experiment and communicate

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 9:15:03 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PagerNY

Help me here.  I know a lot about D/s, B/d and so forth, but am having a hard time with this one area - Obedience Training.  My gf/submisive/more is very much into this and I need some help as to providing her with it.  Tell me, what does it entail and how does one go about it. 
Any help is greatly appreciated.


Sounds to me like your the submisisve.  She is telling you what she wants. Any training thats needs to be done.  Should be to accomplish your goals... not hers

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 1/3/2008 9:18:25 PM >

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 10:57:40 PM   
zimmeron


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PagerNY

Help me here.  I know a lot about D/s, B/d and so forth, but am having a hard time with this one area - Obedience Training.  My gf/submisive/more is very much into this and I need some help as to providing her with it.  Tell me, what does it entail and how does one go about it. 
Any help is greatly appreciated.


I was in a similar situation when I started. The first thing you have to do is identify what you want and what you want your boundaries to be in your D/s relationship. Then you start to communicate and enforce them one by one or a few at a time depending on what they are. But no one can tell you what those "boundaries" or desires are because those are yours.As far as the training itself, there are lots of different ways.

I took a type of conditioning route. To take a random and completely fictional example, maybe if I wanted to train her to always skip every few steps when we're in public, if she forgot to do it, I'd slap her in the ass to remind her, but if she went several hours without being reminded, she'd get praised (once again random and completely fictional). The point is after a while it becomes a part of the overall behavior and a step toward the ultimate goal, and it becomes the norm that being obedient means being treated well by you and disobedience equals punishment. It's also important to make sure you are comfortable and consistent with punishing.  

That's probably oversimplifying the process, but hopefully it's a start. You should definitely keep seeking and researching because as someone above said, it's different for everyone.

< Message edited by zimmeron -- 1/3/2008 11:18:52 PM >

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RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 11:34:03 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		make up 128 slave rules, and whack her with a rolled up newspaper for breaking any?

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Obedience Training - 1/3/2008 11:36:05 PM   
zimmeron


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		No... 129... and I prefer magazines

Actually in thinking... it's not really "punishments" in my example.. it's "reminders" or cues during the training. That's all. Like I said, works for me, but every D/s relationship is different.

< Message edited by zimmeron -- 1/4/2008 12:15:04 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Obedience Training - 1/4/2008 7:36:10 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

Sounds to me like your the submisisve.  She is telling you what she wants. Any training thats needs to be done.  Should be to accomplish your goals... not hers
BadOne


I really don't subscribe to this way of thinking in my relationship with my own sub, however many Dominants feel this way. That if a submissive speaks out as to what her/his needs are that they are being more the dominant than the actual Dom is. Suddenly, the Dominant is the one that is looking submissive.
I have to ask, why should the accomplished goals be His and not hers or theirs together? They are in a mutually consented relationship with guidelines that were put in place (I am guessing here, I don't know them) when they were in negotiations. Is it so wrong for a sub/slave to ask for what she/he feels she/he may need? I should think not, but I could be wrong <s>
 
PagerNY, I apologize for the hi-jack. Back to your OP, I agree with most here about asking her what exactly she feels she needs. Read and do research on other websites that help people who are just starting their journey's.
 
quote:

Jasmyn has the right idea. Come up with some rules. Make a few of them wierd, make a few of them difficult, but mostly make them basic. Once you've got them, make sure she knows about them, then enforce them. It can be lots of fun. I like wierd rules, myself. Make her toast the health of Emperor Norton whenever she is drinking in public. Make her pick all the red M&Ms out of the bowl before serving them to you. Not difficult stuff, not even kinky stuff, but odd, unusual demands that are out of the ordinary and make her pay a little more attention to what she's doing. Give her some rules that are useful to you. Once, I was required to always carry a pen. I like to know that there is going to be coffee ready when I want it. That sort of thing. Again, nothing nessisarily kinky or difficult. Kinky stuff and difficult stuff should be in there too, but that's between you and her. These are all just suggestions any way.

 
I like all of these things. They are non kink and realistic AND you can have fun with them <s>
 
Good luck to you :)




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