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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/29/2007 4:23:14 PM

dawntreader

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

So am I to assume that my "smoke break" while my partner is trussed up in stirrups on an exam table is bad form? Gezz... And here my thinking was "Hell, they ain't goin' anywhere".

i have been the recipient of a similar scene...i would have to say it was not good

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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/29/2007 5:44:04 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
Don't you think that once you become very close there is less need for structured scenes?

At this time, I'm most interested in making a good first impression. As we (hopefully) grow closer, I agree: less structure, more free flow because we'll have experience with each other and know what we want and need.

Thanx again!

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/30/2007 2:07:14 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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My question is to ask exactly why you feel that approach won't work now? That will help direct my answers.

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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/30/2007 4:44:56 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

My question is to ask exactly why you feel that approach won't work now? That will help direct my answers.

You mean why "less structure, more free flow" won't work? Well, it did with my former sub, but it seemed a bit chaotic, in retrospect. I just think that when two people meet for a first play session, there's anxiety on both sides. The old NASA astronaut prayer, "Please, God, don't let me fuck up!"

I think having an initial plan of what I want to do -- not set in stone -- and how to transition between activities would make it easier on me and my sub the first time we play.

Your input, as always, is valued, L.A.!

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/30/2007 4:56:46 PM

OldBastardly1

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I don't mean to over simplify it, but....try to maintain body contact as much as you can, as you are checking on her get in close with your head, speak less than loudly in her ear. Have the mindset that you are BOTH sharing an adventure.

Have you various equipment easily accessible.

Have fun!

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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/30/2007 5:13:19 PM

MadRabbit

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I can relate to this issue and there is a few things I do to deal with it.

I plan it out and think it through, but that's just how my brain naturally works. I am one of those "Will it work people?" and a system builder. I'm pretty good at thinking threw an issue from multiple angles and finding any problems. Of course, this is something that gets better with experience and actually doing it. You make mistakes, find issues you never thought of, and then find solutions. Even when I don't have exactly what I am going to do planned out and just going to improv, I tend to make sure I can do everything that I might do easily.

To me, changing bondage positions is the BDSM equivalent of putting on a condom. Fumbling around with the ropes, tie the knots and put someone in a new positions (particulary one's you have never done before) is the best way to get a limp dick and wandering minds wondering what's on TV.

I try to pick one position that I can do everything I have planned. If I am going to change it around, I try to make sure its something I can do very quickly without a lot of adjusting of ropes and not something I have never done before. The middle of hot, primal fun is not the best time to go "Hey, lets try the 300-knot Oriental Rope Dress for the first time.". When I change positions, I tend to do it with a lot of jerking, slamming, hair-pulling, grunting and the occasional quick break for a face slap to keep things intense.

I also find that when I switch over to sensual play after a round of beating to be the best time to make adjustments or bring new toys closer. It's easy to rub some rabbit fur slowly over a bruised ass and still be able to concencrate on tasks with the free hand.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 12/30/2007 5:14:55 PM >

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RE: Maintaining the "flow" - 12/30/2007 5:22:33 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

To me, changing bondage positions is the BDSM equivalent of putting on a condom. Fumbling around with the ropes, tie the knots and put someone in a new positions (particulary one's you have never done before) is the best way to get a limp dick and wandering minds wondering what's on TV.

I also find that when I switch over to sensual play after a round of beating to be the best time to make adjustments or bring new toys closer. It's easy to rub some rabbit fur slowly over a bruised ass and still be able to concencrate on tasks with the free hand.

Mucho thanx, Rabbit. These are the exact ideas I'm looking for.

You're right on with the "changing bondage positions" comment. That's what I found most difficult when playing with my former sub. I like the idea that you (and others) have suggested: stay in one bound position and do as many things as possible before changing.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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I found my strip naked soul soup
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---The B-52s

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