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beeble -> RE: On-line Submissive (12/26/2007 2:34:42 PM)
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Online submission is, like many activities, something where you get out what you put in.
My Mistress and I have had an online relationship for the past six months and, while both of us would dearly like it to be a real-world relationship, it can't be, for the time being at least: there's an ocean in the way. We spend a couple of hours or more each day chatting online and have spoken on the phone a couple of times and exchanged letters and postcards and a huge amount of E-mail. My Mistress has had and continues to have real-life submissives, though we play mainly with things that she's not done (much) in real life. Although we spend a lot of time online together, by no means all of that time is spent playing. We spend a lot of time just chatting, as friends, though everything is very fluid. Both of us find the relationship very satisfying; neither of us has any qualms about saying that we are in love. (Yes, I know, we've never met. It sounds crazy; maybe it is.) What we have makes us both very happy.
A lot of it is based on trust and, I suppose, trust in the opposite direction to the usual D/s relationship. Why my Mistress tells me to do something (and, especially, when she tells me not to do something), to a large extent, she only has my word that I have obeyed her. For example, right now, I'm being kept in chastity but I have the key. There's nothing physically stopping me from unlocking myself and having my wicked way with myself but that would negate the whole point of our relationship. I would feel unhappy about going behind my Mistress's back and, when she found out, she might be forgiving of a first offence from a temporary loss of self-control, but would soon lose interest if I made a habit of it. We both want our relationship to work so I don't cheat. (FTR, the other night, I did take it off but I was feeling very ill and we'd both agreed that I could take it off if I felt I needed to. I'm feeling much better, now.)
On the other hand, my Mistress is thousands of miles away so she can't, in general, physically harm me, except by encouraging me to do harmful things. I trust her not to do that deliberately and we both trust each other to be responsible and clueful enough that it won't happen accidentally. She could hurt me psychologically and, when we play, I often feel very vulnerable. I trust her not to hurt me deliberately and, on the couple of occasions where it's happened accidentally (and not to any great extent), we've discussed things afterwards and sorted things out. So the trust does run both ways.
I'm not sure that answers any of the OP's questions but I do hope it shows that online D/s isn't always frivolous and shallow. Or maybe it just shows everyone that we're crazy. But, hey, maybe that would stop my Mistress getting quite so many annoying one-liners in her inbox. [;)]
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