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Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 8:16:54 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		Master said that I am required to write him one long email every day and that it can be our only communication until he deems that I am good again.

Today he did not wish me merry christmas, which I think was mean. am I right to whine to him in my email tonight?

He did as he said he would do, but I think he should have broken that rule today.
Does it make sense to whine?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 8:20:28 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Expressing your feelings is important.  Particularly in M/s.

Vanilla or D/s.. it's important, but it's not the same.  When someone governs your life, control it.. it's very important that they have the information.

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 8:22:59 PM   
Greylynn


Posts: 575
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I think he's just sticking to his punishment and it's working.  A whine isn't going to show that you've accepted the punishment.

Perhaps just point out how hurt you were but that you understand why which may shorten the amount of time you have to do the e-mails.

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 8:25:42 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Kittty, darling, I personally feel that whining isn't going to make him see your point of view.  I know where you are coming from with the not being wished a Merry Christmas.  I know for a fact that if you whine, and act like a child, he very well may treat you like a child.  Just buck up, wish him a Merry Whatver-He-Celebrates, and go on about your business...unless he likes it when you whine...

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 8:29:23 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		i dont even know if Im upset with him really. I am at least certain that he thought of me and did not contact me on purpose. But I am sad because not many people called today. Just my mom and grandma really (even though I have a dad divorced from my mom and an adult brother). I feel that I must have alienated a lot of people and felt scrooge like today as I was in my apartment alone all day.

Its kind of a wake up call. I think I should make more of an effort to stay in touch with friends or I might not have any.

(in reply to Greylynn)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:07:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well really you aren't having any communication- communication is at least a two person process.  This is just you sending stuff out.

You're being punished and dealing with the consequences of that punishment.  Frankly I find the 'punishment' to be very ineffective for long term relationship growth and security and I'm not sure what behavior it's supposed to be changing unless perhaps you wrote too many emails or put too many expectations on him to respond.

However, he's just following through with the consequences put into place and which you agreed to.

If you aren't happy, express it in your email tomorrow in mature and reasonable terms.  No one really likes whining, unless it's obviously for fun.

You have chosen to submit- this means to shape your behavior under the authority of the other person.  So either you will willfully disobey that authority because you don't feel happy (because that is the reason here, it's not like there's some life or death emergency or other mitigating circumstances), or you will continue to operate under that authority.

I'm not even saying that willfully disobeying is WRONG, ending the authority dynamic might be what you recognize as right for you at this point- simply that it too will have consequences.  The worst thing would be for you to act out of insecurity and fear and need for attention only to end up feeling crappy and in another useless punishment to continue the problem.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:07:50 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i don't think that whining helps anything, it does not communicate effectively...instead, take a while, calm down and when you are not writing out of emotion, write about your emotions...it works a lot better that way...think about it...when someone is angery, it is much more effective communication for them to say after they have calmed down that they are angery than to say whatever they would have said in anger...same goes for any extreme emotion, even the good ones...things come out that though we may feel are true at the time, we know they are not...the whole irrational process of feelings (if only i were a vulcan....)

oh and the phone line works both ways...if you are feeling lonely, pick up the phone and call someone...make plans to go somewhere with someone or have them come over or something like that... be proactive rather than just sitting on your pitty pot and wondering why no one is knocking at your door...

good luck
chelle


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:12:35 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Well what does the whining accomplish other than being annoying? You could however tell him in a adult way that you were really hurt by him not telling you Merry Christmas. Whining unless included with begging in play doesn't really get your point across.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:15:26 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Yes, whining is a fabulous idea. Nothing makes me happier than a whining sub. Especially those who tell me when and how I should break the rules I made.

Whine away!!! He'll be stoked!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:23:00 PM   
Kumasan2


Posts: 182
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline 		Don't whine.  But do express your feelings in the letter.  He told you to write him a single long email a day.  But he didn't restrict you on what to say, did he?

If not, use the time and the opportunity constructively.  Tell him how you felt not hearing from him and that you would have liked it if he had bent his rule this one time, in view of the circumstances.  But should you whine about it?  No, I think not.


_____________________________

"A Master, if He is indeed wise,
does not bid you enter the house of His wisdom,
but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind." -Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:27:44 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Punishment is one thing. Ignoring someone on Christmas is flat out mean and uncalled for. You have every right to be upset. If a Dom did that to me, I think I'd find a replacement and make sure to dump him on Valentine's Day or his birthday, whichever came first.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:29:09 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings kitttty,

the point of the email is to discuss what you're feeling, i would guess, so i would bring it up respectfully - not whine.

annabelle.


< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 12/25/2007 9:30:18 PM >

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:33:49 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Articulate communication is preferred over whining ANY day, and will probably yield better results.

~ DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 9:49:16 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		I am so needy.

He called at midnight. we talked for 40 minutes. I am so fucking glad I did not send that email. I made a draft of it, but I did not send it.

He was very nice. He did not wish me merry christmas, but he did say he missed me and that he adores me.

This is why I am such a difficult sub/slave (I dont know what the fuck I am).

He says I am not to retake the LSAT and that I must apply to schools that will accept my score. Fortunately there are 6 law schools in our city, 5 of which will probably accept my score.

Really, I should learn to trust the Master.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 10:37:30 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well, at least he contacted you. I find it odd that he waited until midnight, when Christmas was officially over and that he didn't mention the holiday at all. Sounds like he deliberately made the punishment last through Christmas. No matter what he says now, he still ruined Christmas. In my opinion, ignoring is a childish way to handle a dispute and often causes alot more problems than it solves. Honest, open communication is always best.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 12/25/2007 10:43:54 PM >

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/25/2007 11:00:30 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		whining can only create more problems.  prove to him that you are learning your lesson and it might be very beneficial to not whine but to learn to effectively communicate your wants, needs and feelings.

PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/26/2007 12:02:45 AM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Does it make sense to whine?


Depends on the goal and whether or not whining will help achieve that goal. I would caution though, when deciding on what exactly the goal is, try to look at the big picture and not just the here and now.
 
k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/26/2007 12:19:08 AM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
Really, I should learn to trust the Master.


Could it be possible you are having a hard time with this because you do not trust yourself?
 
k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/26/2007 3:08:45 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

Does it make sense to whine?


It never makes sense to whine.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Should I whine to Master? - 12/26/2007 3:44:49 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

Master said that I am required to write him one long email every day and that it can be our only communication until he deems that I am good again.

Today he did not wish me merry christmas, which I think was mean. am I right to whine to him in my email tonight?

He did as he said he would do, but I think he should have broken that rule today.
Does it make sense to whine?

I am so needy.

He called at midnight. we talked for 40 minutes. I am so fucking glad I did not send that email. I made a draft of it, but I did not send it.

He was very nice. He did not wish me merry christmas, but he did say he missed me and that he adores me.

This is why I am such a difficult sub/slave (I dont know what the fuck I am).

He says I am not to retake the LSAT and that I must apply to schools that will accept my score. Fortunately there are 6 law schools in our city, 5 of which will probably accept my score.

Really, I should learn to trust the Master.



I personally don't agree with ignoring, however if a Master is going to punish it does no good to have the Master go back on his word.
 
aJ

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 20
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