kinksters and leagues

kinksters and leagues (Full Version)

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kitttty -> kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 4:06:36 PM)
In the vanilla world, there is a concept of leagues. Like someone is out of someone's league because they are more socially desirable for whatever reasons. Does this apply to kinky people you think? Like such and such submissive or dominant is generally held as more desirable for superficial reasons and it makes them out of some people's leagues? Strangely, I dont feel that my Master and I could be labeled with leagues. We are just right for each other because of our own individual needs and quirks. We each have some niceties and we each have characteristics that would make us undesirable to masses of people. But I dont know if everyone is like us.

DommeKimberly -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 4:10:31 PM)
Not so much as leagues as maybe experience

Level -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 4:15:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty In the vanilla world, there is a concept of leagues. Like someone is out of someone's league because they are more socially desirable for whatever reasons. Does this apply to kinky people you think? Like such and such submissive or dominant is generally held as more desirable for superficial reasons and it makes them out of some people's leagues? Strangely, I dont feel that my Master and I could be labeled with leagues. We are just right for each other because of our own individual needs and quirks. We each have some niceties and we each have characteristics that would make us undesirable to masses of people. But I dont know if everyone is like us. I believe it's the same for kinky people, because they're still people, beyond anything else.

Leatherist -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 4:43:41 PM)
It's more about compatability.

petdave -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 4:47:55 PM)
Without a doubt. The standards aren't all the same as in vanilla life, but they're certainly there.

KindLadyGrey -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 4:52:01 PM)
I will admit to being a bit of an intellectual elitist. I am probably out of your "league" if you just ain't that bright. I think many people in this lifestyle tend to be on the creative/intellectual side and prefer partners who are equally intelligent. I can't speak for everyone though, obviously.

kitttty -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 5:17:38 PM)
quote: I will admit to being a bit of an intellectual elitist. I am probably out of your "league" if you just ain't that bright. I think many people in this lifestyle tend to be on the creative/intellectual side and prefer partners who are equally intelligent. I can't speak for everyone though, obviously. I too am brutal on the intelligence thing. I dont like the idea of a Dom that is less smart than me. Its not a problem. Vanilla or not, I find it fairly natural to find partners more intelligent than me, especially since I value areas of intelligence I just dont have. 4 guys I have dated have been computer scientists/engineers- not what I do with any competence at all. Bright as Master is though, I would be surprised if there are hordes of submissive girls out there wanting to serve someone just like him simply because he's got smarts. A few weeks ago Master asked me who I thought was smarter- me or him. I looked at him like he was asking who had a bigger penis or who was older because I couldn't believe that anyone would even debate the issue. Really, most people wouldn't. Anyways I have so many issues and I am so needy and in need of complete commitment. Surely this would make plenty of guys not want me if they were honest with themselves.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 5:42:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist It's more about compatability. Exactly! If a submissive woman writes that she prefers Doms with lush, wavy hair, no mustache and a chiseled body, why should I bother? Doesn't matter what she looks like, she's "out of my league." Interesting how many of us desire someone of intelligence. I suppose I'm smarter than the average bear, and consequently, I look for a female sub who has more than a modicum of intelligence. I also find it interesting that some very bright, witty women disparage the idea that they are intelligent! Both my former sub and a current sub friend in AZ -- each short on book learning but incredibly street smart -- feel they are somehow "beneath" me because I'm cortically endowed. Maybe it's because I say stuff like "cortically endowed?" [sm=biggrin.gif] Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

goodgirl08 -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 5:44:15 PM)
quote: Strangely, I dont feel that my Master and I could be labeled with leagues. We are just right for each other because of our own individual needs and quirks. We each have some niceties and we each have characteristics that would make us undesirable to masses of people. But I dont know if everyone is like us. Lol, you sure have a high opinion of you and your Master, huh? I do not have a lot of experience but I do know one very important thing...if you are set on comparing yourself and your partner to other people and their relationships, you are never going to be satisfied. I think it is too bad that you think of yourself as undesirable, and too bad that you have a Master who you seem quick to cut down. I do not usually like to be so blunt, and I am not trying to be unkind but it really bothers me that your relationship is so based on competition and is measured by factors that the outside world gives to you, like LSAT scores and social 'desirability'. I wish that you would be able to love him and yourself for who you are and to escape the cutthroat parameters you have set.

LRODANDMASTER -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 5:45:18 PM)
YEA SOME OF US R DUMASSES. quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey I will admit to being a bit of an intellectual elitist. I am probably out of your "league" if you just ain't that bright. I think many people in this lifestyle tend to be on the creative/intellectual side and prefer partners who are equally intelligent. I can't speak for everyone though, obviously.

KatyLied -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 5:46:17 PM)
quote: Like someone is out of someone's league because they are more socially desirable for whatever reasons. Does this apply to kinky people you think? Of course. Why wouldn't it?

juliaoceania -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 5:51:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey I will admit to being a bit of an intellectual elitist. I am probably out of your "league" if you just ain't that bright. I think many people in this lifestyle tend to be on the creative/intellectual side and prefer partners who are equally intelligent. I can't speak for everyone though, obviously. I think this describes me, I want someone I perceive as my intellectual equal or superior, and I do not want them to be so superior to myself intellectually as to feel I cannot keep up with them. It is by far the hardest thing to find for me. I also want someone that is somewhat educated because I feel that we have more in common if that is part of the equation. Similar experiences and similar culture.. it is not about "league" for me, it is about what will fulfill my needs

kitttty -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 6:06:09 PM)
quote: I do not usually like to be so blunt, and I am not trying to be unkind but it really bothers me that your relationship is so based on competition and is measured by factors that the outside world gives to you, like LSAT scores and social 'desirability'. I wish that you would be able to love him and yourself for who you are and to escape the cutthroat parameters you have set. Do you see it that way? I feel more comfortable in a relationship with someone that does not wholly reject these things. I really admire Master and I am very thankful for all the good he has brought out in me, but I don't know if many other girls would want to be held to these standards. We both have nutty abusive parents with exacting standards of their own and I am glad to be with someone that essentially can understand where I am coming from and understands that to reject these standards is to try and reject a value system that will probably always be a part of me. I love him for his kindness, his energy, his consistency and his belief in me which is nothing short of miraculous. He always had social desirability but I did not want to belong to him until he made me feel that I had found my place in the world.

goodgirl08 -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 6:26:09 PM)
Well, cool. Maybe I'm just a big commie. It is just troubling to me that he holds you accountable for not reaching (somewhat) superficial landmarks such as a high score on the LSATs, and for making you lose weight. And that he's making you become a lawyer when you don't even know if that's what you want. It seems like he's making you a slave to societal standards more than anything else. I'm butting in because I have a lot of experience with this attitude, I am sorry if I seem condescending.

Maya2001 -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 6:55:29 PM)
It is still there regardless, it may not make much difference for play but in a 24/7 relationship would make a lot of difference, lets say your a high level well educated business executive dom, for play, class may not matter as much as you are not likely going introducing your sub to your business associates and wives but for a 24/7 relationship they would someone who is intelligent and has social graces and can carry on a meaningful conversation so as not to become an embarassment to the doms socially standing in their vanilla life because there may be times were the sub will be acting as hostess to business friends and associates or he would want some he can take along to socials so there needs to be a certain amount of compatibility not just in kinks but in the vanillas parts of life as well. Even if the dom does not have a significant social life if there is a significant social gap conversations will be limited as there is lack of similiar life experience and over the long haul he may feel like he talking down to a child which may not be a problem with a daddy dom but for others may become a problem.

BiteGirl -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/25/2007 11:57:09 PM)
People have standards, put it this way. I have many a time found on womens profiles saying "no fat, bald, old men". I have also had moments myself where I think I am "too good" for someone, although this is usually an intellectual thing over a physical thing (those guys up there seem to be the same). It depends on your preception I suppose. But Vanilla people are the masses, so they have "leagues" set to a fine art, where the superficial is conserned.

LaMistressa -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/26/2007 12:08:32 AM)
I can't be the only one who is thinking of lots of silly "bush league" and "farm league" jokes, can I?

chellekitty -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/26/2007 9:23:15 AM)
i don't think i am out of anyone's "league," but i have found that a lot of people find my intelligence and my strict adherence to logic, and disregard of general ethics (good or bad has no influence on true or false) to be intimidating...so i have found it hard to find someone compatable...the particular area's that i have found it hard to find someone compatable...someone that matches on personal ethics and doesn't try to adhere to societal or familial ethics, that doesn't mind explaining and debating at the right time, in the right place and that needs to give as much pain as i need to recieve...is that being an elitist or just looking for someone that compliments me? i've done compromising myself in relationships, i'm through with it...as far as friendships go...well, i'd invite anyone to come to san antonio and ask around the BDSM community about me...if anyone has a problem with me, it is personal and very specific...nothing to do with how i treat people in general....i believe that even those that do have a problem with me would tell you so... take care chelle

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/26/2007 10:16:37 AM)
Of course there are leagues. The cool thing is most people have no idea what league they are in and will often think someone is in or out of their league and be completely wrong. Much like beauty, leagues are in the eye (and mind) of the beholder. Taggard

daddyncherry -> RE: kinksters and leagues (12/26/2007 10:26:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirl08 quote: . We each have some niceties and we each have characteristics that would make us undesirable to masses of people. But I dont know if everyone is like us. Lol, you sure have a high opinion of you and your Master, huh? I think it is too bad that you think of yourself as undesirable, and too bad that you have a Master who you seem quick to cut down. Funny how the written word with out inflection can be taken different ways.... The way i read that part in the OP was not that she was cutting either her Master or herself down, rather that she was being honest. i think we all have things that others would appreciate and things that others would find undesirable....i know for a fact that both my Daddy and i have these traits....all people do really. This is why we don't connect with everyone in the same way. Just my take on it :D

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