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ZENBDSM -> RE: The Spiritual....within D/s .... It's True Passion (12/28/2007 12:19:10 PM)
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Ok...so the original post was 'interesting' to be sure.....
But being that the subject/title interested me...here is my input.
D/s does something that no money, job, parent, clothes, drink, drug, lottery or sexual activity has ever done for me.
When I was confronted with the first woman who wanted to do anything for me, just because she "felt like doing something nice"....I was immediately drawn in and heard/felt the big "AHA".
The first thing was really simple...she brought me a drink of water and kneeled. At the time, I was distracted, did not notice her kneeling since there were no other chairs to sit on. When I noticed she had kneeled beside me, I immediately took a sharp breath in. Wooow, niiice.
She was older than me...I was in my late 20's and she was in her late 30's. Neither of us had ever experienced the moment before with anyone else. At first, it was a 'novelty'...something she would do and then we would smile at each other and I would pet her long hair while I did my own thing on the guitar, computer, book, keyboard etc.
Then it came to be our consistent thing....always done, always expected. Beautiful.
I noticed the previous comment about 12 step/recovery. I was 6 yrs into my own recovery via Alanon and to a lesser degree AA, so I am sure that I was ready, willing and able to note and acknowledge the moment for what it did for/to me. Thank goodness. Thank goodness I learned to pay attention to my actions and see the patterns for what they were. Reactions.
I think my earlier moments with other women did have opportunities to tap into D/s, but at the time I was not self aware enough to put my wants and desires out there to my partners/lovers. Lets face it...some of us have to "get over" ourselves and our drama, or others opinions of us in order to discover what D/s can do for us. Shoot, just to discover ourselves, let alone D/s.
Even though I am not gay; I do see my own D/s version of 'coming out' when I accepted/embraced D/s.
My spiritual journey when I stated and claimed what I liked and disliked was great. I met, shared and learned from as many people in the D/s LifeStyle I could. This D/s journey coincides with my 'recovery' - getting rid of baggage; both helped me to get back in touch with my family of origin, allowing them to be in my life, not put up with any abuse, drama or damage.
Being physically aggressive anyway, I managed to show a few women my D/s and S/M...and was embraced as opposed to rejected for it! Early in my 20's I got married and it was a sham. We both wanted to be the boss and we were not grown up enough (or well adjusted enough!?) to manage being with someone else who had strong opinions.
My ex has not moved on and continues to be stuck in the same rut...never dating, let alone getting remarried. I am fortunate that I have found some WONDERFUL women who I have loved, benefited from knowing them and they have grown as well and I have.
I am grateful that I am able to help others in the D/s community when called upon...but I DO have to slow myself down, because I always want to fix the problem for those submissive girls. I constantly work on improving myself and appreciate it when people acknowledge their flaws/characteristic defects.
As I see it;
- If you do not admit to your flaws, it is difficult to fix yourself.
- If you don't have an inquisitive mind, it is difficult to improve yourself.
- If you do not want to help others, it is difficult to get help.
For me at least....D/s is a Spiritual Journey.
I get to Listen, Learn and Share Myself.
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