Renewing our vows

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gorgeous1 -> Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 9:29:26 AM)
Quick background for those who don't know...I have been married to my Husband/Master/Dominant for almost 10 years. We have always had a D/s sexual relationship since the first date. Back in 2003, I was officially collared, and we dabbled in a 24/7 relationship, but due to life getting in the way, and a difficult pregnancy which created complications resulting in two surgeries and a long recovery battle, the 24/7 aspect and a great deal of even the D/s sexual dynamic was put aside. No limits were pushed, nothing progressed, really until recently. Sure, there were some things that never changed, such as my husband having the final say on all household decisions, my not being allowed to cut my hair (but he just allowed me to get it cut finally! WHACK TEN INCHES CLEAN OFF!), him dressing me when we were to go out somewhere special, but not a whole lot more. So now, for the last month, we have really delved into our whole relationship again, and last night, my husband surprised me. He asked me to kneel as he sat on a chair, and asked me where I saw our relationship going. He wanted to know if I wanted a more intense D/s sexual dynamic where my limits would continue to be pushed, or if I wanted to work towards a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. I said, "The latter" and he said, "No I want to hear you say it." I told him I wanted to work towards a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. He smiled and said, "Good. That's what I want too, and I have been working on a document that will have rules and protocol and what to expect." He had me read his expectations out loud and mark each expectation with either, 1) will do without question, 2) will to do but need to be pushed 3) Will not do 4) Will consider, but with modification. I was thoroughly shocked and pleasantly surprised, a little apprehensive, and overwhelmed...but reassured that he's not expecting this to happen overnight- that it is an ideal goal to work towards. I marked most things with ones, some with twos, none with threes, and only one expectation with four. He is taking a week off of work, and he said we have work to do...and I am very excited, and he said we are starting the weekend off with a renewal of our vows that we took almost five years ago. So much is going through my head right now! Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated!

Mercnbeth -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 9:34:34 AM)
quote: Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated! Advice? Your Master and you should be giving it! ENJOY!

Phin -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 9:36:44 AM)
enjoy the "work," enjoy the time with him. and keep the communication lines open.

Dnomyar -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 9:38:22 AM)
Agrees with Mercnbeth

PanthersMom -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 9:43:50 AM)
your post made me smile. congrats on the renewal, both of the vows and the relationship, enjoy it, love each other and be happy, i'm sure about half the populatoin here would love to be in your shoes. have fun!! PM

gorgeous1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 9:59:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated! Advice? Your Master and you should be giving it! ENJOY! Awwww...thanks both of you! I don't think we are ready to give out advice on how to be a 24/7 couple, except as I said, I think rushing into it and trying to accomplish everything at once would be a recipe for disaster, regrets, and resentment. The document contained close to 100 items, all of which he said ideally, he wants. I was very happy to see that everything he wants is pretty much anything I would do, but just some of it with a little push. I think the fact that he fed me Godiva Chocolate from his hand helped to bribe me a bit! I think the greatest challenge will be reading the subtleties of each other's moods and knowing how to walk the tightrope of a Master/slave relationship. Sexuality is the core of this dynamic for the both of us, and the 24/7 relationship is gossamer draped over the reality of everyday life that includes family, children, work, obligations, the upkeep of a home...to keep the illusion and fantasy going, there will have to be ways found for him to still uphold his part in keeping the ship afloat, and for me to communicate when I feel I need help, or ways for him to tell me that sometimes he just wants to be my Baby doll, as I affectionately call him sometimes. Sometimes I will need to be my fiery Alpha self or have a PMS moment. I so want this to work!

sexyred1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:09:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gorgeous1 quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated! Advice? Your Master and you should be giving it! ENJOY! Awwww...thanks both of you! I don't think we are ready to give out advice on how to be a 24/7 couple, except as I said, I think rushing into it and trying to accomplish everything at once would be a recipe for disaster, regrets, and resentment. The document contained close to 100 items, all of which he said ideally, he wants. I was very happy to see that everything he wants is pretty much anything I would do, but just some of it with a little push. I think the fact that he fed me Godiva Chocolate from his hand helped to bribe me a bit! I think the greatest challenge will be reading the subtleties of each other's moods and knowing how to walk the tightrope of a Master/slave relationship. Sexuality is the core of this dynamic for the both of us, and the 24/7 relationship is gossamer draped over the reality of everyday life that includes family, children, work, obligations, the upkeep of a home...to keep the illusion and fantasy going, there will have to be ways found for him to still uphold his part in keeping the ship afloat, and for me to communicate when I feel I need help, or ways for him to tell me that sometimes he just wants to be my Baby doll, as I affectionately call him sometimes. Sometimes I will need to be my fiery Alpha self or have a PMS moment. I so want this to work! You and hubby are so cute it makes my insulin go into shock, LOL Seriously, you don't need any advice, hon. You guys are like a well oiled machine, (from what you have told me) and it sounds as if that is true. The best thing about you both is that you genuinely LIKE each other, LOVE each other, are HOT for each other and are COMMITTED to making this work on all levels. So no advice from the peanut gallery needed whatsoever. Now, if you can get hubby to find a friend for your redheaded friend in NJ, then you will truly be a good subbie. [;)]

Dnomyar -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:23:03 AM)
Say it isnt so. This post was going along so nice and here the sexyred one is begging.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:23:35 AM)
gorgeous, Whether you end up committing to a 24/7 dynamic or not, it is the process you are going through that stands as beacon for others to follow. Sometimes the end result isn't what was anticipated but committing to the journey is, in and of itself, a great opportunity for people to get, as we like to say, totally 'naked' with your partner. I can't remember (beth?) how may individual items were on our list of "things"; 100 doesn't sound unreasonable. In fact, our "list" is still open for review and amendment to account for an evolving relationship and changing personal perspectives and tastes. This quote should be at the top of your list and again is beacon: quote: *I so want this to work!* If you both use those words as a mantra while you go through the process the result will be a document that can be titled "*WE want this to work*!" Right now you are defining "this", coming up with a common definition. Sometimes that process gets bumpy. When it does look toward each other and remember the mantra. Our best wishes for achieving that goal!

sexyred1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:24:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Say it isnt so. This post was going along so nice and here the sexyred one is begging. Dude, get over yourself. Begging is HAWT.

Jeffff -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:34:23 AM)
outstanding.........congratulations..:) Jeff

gorgeous1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:38:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Say it isnt so. This post was going along so nice and here the sexyred one is begging. Dude, get over yourself. Begging is HAWT. And BEGGING for Godiva chocolate can get messy...and HAWT.[;)] Last night, he would bite off half of the piece of chocolate, and feed me the other half...YUM.

TMaster2 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 10:52:59 AM)
wow, that is so cool ;) congrats to you both on renewable energy ;) lol

gorgeous1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 12:00:33 PM)
Thank you everyone for the support and well wishes... This has been a hard journey. A few of you know about the medical problems I had to endure, but for those of you who don't, I had two very hard pregnancies. The first one I was so sick I was put in the hospital and given anti nausea meds that chemo patients have to take. I spent half the pregnancy on bed rest. The second pregnancy damaged my bladder and pelvic floor muscles. I had to wait an entire year after the delivery of my son to have repair surgery, and I didn't want to even think about having sex for that year. My husband was so sweet and understanding and supportive throughout that time. The pelvic floor surgery was a success, but the first bladder surgery failed, and I had to have a second one. The second one left painful scarring inside of me, and sex was excruciatingly painful- and NOT in a good way! Finally, after biting the bullet and actually having sex on a regular basis, the scar broke down, and it doesn't hurt anymore! It was a long battle, but if I had to go through it again I would do it in a heartbeat because now I don't pee when I laugh, AND the pelvic floor surgery made it as if I had never had children...if you catch my drift! I guess now, we both feel as if our bodies are truly for us. Hubby got the snippy-snip so he's shooting blanks, and I don't have to nurse any babies, I have a bladder of steel now...finally, we can do what we want to do for us. Now if I can just get that boob lift for my 40th birthday.... I feel life has thrown us many challenges and we have stuck (sometimes clung to each other crying) and it could have knocked anyone down, but we managed. In the first four years of our marriage, my husband lost his job four times, I had endless health problems...so much stuff. I feel excited to be at a calm part of our life together where we're not busy dodging arrows, and we can focus on pleasing each other.

FRSguy -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 12:01:18 PM)
So glad to hear this from you. Its nice to see that since we first started conversing to see you go from the I wishes to a reality and its really refreshing as I am sure it is to your master to see you with so much enthusiasm. He is one lucky guy as you are one lucky girl. I think after reading I dont know how many posts about couples in trouble and problem this and problem that.... that it is really wonderful to hear someone just plain post that they are happy in life. You guys are great. Imagine if you hadnt had the courage to write that little note a couple of weeks ago... and my my how much is changed for you. I am so happy for the both of you. Your posts since joining the site have been really enjoyable and I certainly hope that you stay with us as the two of you are an inspiration to what life can be like. Thanks gorgeous1

sexyred1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 12:04:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gorgeous1 Thank you everyone for the support and well wishes... This has been a hard journey. A few of you know about the medical problems I had to endure, but for those of you who don't, I had two very hard pregnancies. The first one I was so sick I was put in the hospital and given anti nausea meds that chemo patients have to take. I spent half the pregnancy on bed rest. The second pregnancy damaged my bladder and pelvic floor muscles. I had to wait an entire year after the delivery of my son to have repair surgery, and I didn't want to even think about having sex for that year. My husband was so sweet and understanding and supportive throughout that time. The pelvic floor surgery was a success, but the first bladder surgery failed, and I had to have a second one. The second one left painful scarring inside of me, and sex was excruciatingly painful- and NOT in a good way! Finally, after biting the bullet and actually having sex on a regular basis, the scar broke down, and it doesn't hurt anymore! It was a long battle, but if I had to go through it again I would do it in a heartbeat because now I don't pee when I laugh, AND the pelvic floor surgery made it as if I had never had children...if you catch my drift! I guess now, we both feel as if our bodies are truly for us. Hubby got the snippy-snip so he's shooting blanks, and I don't have to nurse any babies, I have a bladder of steel now...finally, we can do what we want to do for us. Now if I can just get that boob lift for my 40th birthday.... I feel life has thrown us many challenges and we have stuck (sometimes clung to each other crying) and it could have knocked anyone down, but we managed. In the first four years of our marriage, my husband lost his job four times, I had endless health problems...so much stuff. I feel excited to be at a calm part of our life together where we're not busy dodging arrows, and we can focus on pleasing each other. Damn you, now my mascara is tearing up!! No seriously. I know about your problems and I really, really am happy for you. Everyone should be as lucky as you and hubby, truly, you are a doll and I for one, am happy you joined us.

gorgeous1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 12:25:08 PM)
Now, now, Red, the only time your mascara should run is when you're sword swallowing! And thanks, FRS, you have helped me with your honesty and knowledge. I am happy, yes, but anything worth having is worth working hard for, like Mercnbeth said, we want this to work, SO WE WILL WORK HARD. Life isn't always perfect, and the path we chose (me being a stay at home mom) has been a tough sacrifice for us...I went 3 1/2 years without a car, we rented an apartment underneath about 15 illegal aliens and we could never sleep, our oldest son has ADHD, owning a home now is awesome, but paying the mortgage in Southern California sucks...but to have this little bit of fun and pleasure is such a wonderful escape from life, and I think making our relationship a 24/7 one will make us feel like we're living in fantasyland all the time, and that will be fun! Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have to go get myself dolled up for the Christmas Party...hubby expects me to be looking like a pin up doll!

adoracat -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 2:20:11 PM)
oh this is such a lovely thing to read!! congratulations to you and your hubby, that sounds like the first steps to a wonderfully fullfilling 24/7 relationship! kitten, smiling

sexyred1 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 3:36:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gorgeous1 Now, now, Red, the only time your mascara should run is when you're sword swallowing! boy, do you have that right! but I try not to cry when swallowing swords, gag maybe, but not cry. [;)]

laurell3 -> RE: Renewing our vows (12/20/2007 11:00:52 PM)
Congrats and have a great week together! l

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