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LadyHugs -> RE: Should I or shouldnt I? (12/17/2007 11:37:32 AM)
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Dear Kirren, Ladies and Gentlemen;
First, I would want to establish who the alpha/principal/senior Dominant is. The owner, regardless of seniority in the scene should be the principal Dominant. This is usually worked out behind the scenes between 'us' Dominants. The reasoning, is that we understand our role and avoid confusion as to who to obey first and foremost.
Second, each Dominant has their strengths and weaknesses. In working with another Dominant, it is nice to have someone who is strong where I am not and vice versa--which gives an intense and consistant measure of applied techniques and skills to that slave in training.
Third, I think that any co-Dominant must be given boundaries to operate in, so they can be creative and spontaneous with their training and or scenes.
Fourth, in any co-Topping/Dominant situation --it is never equal. One must always be in the lead/charge--which usually is the one who the slave submitted themselves for training to. I do realize that Dominants may need help in training a slave however, this is not meant for a outside Dominant to 'take over.' This is why boundaries must be made and understood--and the other Dominant, if they are willing to be more of a help than a threat; should willingly put themselves into a mentor and or support stance as not make it appear as a 'take over.' But, that said, the one being helped should never be less than respectful of another Dominant. Only when there are skills and or techniques to be shown the supporting/mentoring Dominant should take over as to show and teach--and, as soon as its ok for the mentored Dominant--to take on the lessons learned and practice. If it is just a 'scene'--the owner of the slave should remain principal Dominant and the other in support. But, this is how I see how things should be done and have had much success in teaching/training new Dominants with their slaves. For others, they may have their own methods. Regardless, the slave should never loose sight of who their owner is.
That said--IF, there is a slave who submits to a Dominant couple--they do have equal powers. This is when the two Dominants need to establish who shall be the principal/alpha and or in what areas they will be alpha/principal or supporting Dominant.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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