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How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 8:38:18 PM   
PrinceS


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/18/2004
Status: offline 		I have had a lot of BDSM experiences in the past, but now I met a 'vanilla' woman I like a lot.  I do miss BDSM activites though.  How can I introduce her to BDSM concpts without scaring her away?  Any suggestions?
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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 8:57:00 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		There's been a huge number of posts on this topic with some really good suggetions. If you'll spend some time using the seach function, you should find them.

Master Fire


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(in reply to PrinceS)
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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 10:00:32 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Prince: Make sure You get her drunk first, then have the cuffs, chains and bondage gear ready.. Have a soundproof house to keep her and just incase she is tricky keep her in a box.. (gymp)

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 10:02:15 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

Prince: Make sure You get her drunk first, then have the cuffs, chains and bondage gear ready.. Have a soundproof house to keep her and just incase she is tricky keep her in a box.. (gymp)


Right, and make sure to call Zed when you are ready to play.

(hopefully everyone is getting the Pulp Fiction references and not thinking we are nutty)

(in reply to petpete)
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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 10:05:07 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i would start by pulling her to You with just a little bit of force saying something like come here or come to me now and see how she responds. Then maybe holding her wrists to her side when You kiss her. Little things like that. If she is ok with the little things then You might feel good enough to move on. i wish you great success.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 10:06:51 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Don't DO anything.  Talk to her.  Actions that are not welcome may end this relationship.  Honest communication is your best bet in my opinion.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 10:16:13 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sit her down. tell her that there are things that you enjoy that you would like to share with her. Start light, dont bring out a flogger on the first play session. try things like hair pulling, light spanking, sensation, or wax play. dont throw her directly into the deep end, you might scare her away.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/16/2007 10:37:22 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Not everyone can be from the Adams family... But i know that mild BDSM, like a little bit of spanking and site, sense deprivation handcuffs and light play is enjoyed by most vanilla relationships as a kind of foreplay.. (By the way Prince don't trust me cause i just turned indecent..)

< Message edited by petpete -- 12/16/2007 10:38:39 PM >

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Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 12:41:49 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Take some time to build the relationship before you start introducing any bdsm.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 12:57:17 AM   
SexyBlackMan2


Posts: 108
Status: offline 		communication! If you try something, it could freak her out. And ease in slowly.

(in reply to PrinceS)
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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 6:11:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Try being honest and talk to her. Firstly, you don't know that she isn't thinking the same about you. Secondly, do this before having sex. Because doing it afterwards and then ending the relationship because she has zero interest will make her believe you were just interested in cheap sex and she will warn all her friends.

If you really want a d/s relationship then you need to explain openly what you want, and allow the other person to consent or refuse.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 6:37:27 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		One thing to remember. Proceed with caution. She may not be receptive to this lifestyle at all. Your walking on tricky ground here. I would bring it up in a round about way and ease into the question. Most of the time it will be a straight yes or no answer. If the answer is no then leave it at that.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 6:42:29 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		When she walks thru the front door, hit her with a cattle prod...
then say, Honey, we need to talk............

the rest is history.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 6:45:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		What if she is a sheep Ron. Is there a sheep prod???

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 7:20:03 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		You also may not like what you get. You might end up with someone that’s not interested in at all or she might just happen to be a dominant. Are you going to be ok if that happens? Be able to figure out how that will work with your desires? I highly recommend talking to her first, before starting any play. I normally start with “I’m a little bit kinky…” and go from there.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 7:49:59 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Hey SunNMoom Im a little bit kinky.

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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 8:00:51 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Ja, that fuckin' onion breath tho.........too bad, a real cutie.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 8:45:47 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

What if she is a sheep Ron. Is there a sheep prod???


If she is a sheep...you  just show her the hip boots

Old MacDonald

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 8:48:00 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Daddy gonna get him some woolie drawers tonight!!!!!!

Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 12/17/2007 9:26:36 AM >

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: How to introduce a vanilla partner to BDSM? - 12/17/2007 9:50:53 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Hey SunNMoom Im a little bit kinky.


Only a little bit?

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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