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If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:12:44 PM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship th at's not meant to
be
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a
friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. C hange comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others. 

 
I am Sir's devoted property
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:16:47 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,


Where the women in all of this getting pregnant?  He didn't do it by himself.  Just saying.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:19:58 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?

 
Maybe I am an old-fashioned prude, but is this not the reason that you get married BEFORE you have children?
 
Not that anyone's life choice is right or wrong. . .
 
But I am just thinking of the whole "Stages of life" things from psychology. 

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:20:39 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Sirsinini,

You forgot something that I heard once that I always cite when a woman is making excuses for a man not being able to see her, be with her, etc.

If a man wants you, he will crawl over broken glass to get to you.

Believe it. 

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:21:33 PM   
allcatsaregrey


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/2/2007
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		"There is nothing cute about baggage" - hehehe. 

_____________________________

Warm Regards,
c.,
The "Service with a Smile" Slut

"Domination's the name of the game, in bed or in life, they're both just the same - Except in one you're fulfilled
at the end of the day."

- Depeche Mode, "Master & servant"

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:32:17 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allcatsaregrey

"There is nothing cute about baggage" - hehehe. 


Only when I comes with a plane ticket to a hot vacations spot


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to allcatsaregrey)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 7:44:13 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirsinini
Slower is better.
 
Except when it's not.

quote:

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.

I'd say not even then.  Never live your life for another.

quote:

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a
friend.

Not at all true.  The treatment one should expect from a lover or life-mate is MUCH different, often, than what one should expect from a friend... and someone can absolutely not be a match as a life-mate but make an excellent friend.

quote:

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?

Except that getting someone pregnant is a terrible reason, by itself, to marry them and not  having married someone(s) for that reason actually shows good judgement.
Except that you may be the person he actually loves and is compatible with to marry.
Except that you may have no interest in having children or be incapable.

quote:

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

An obviously bitter and sexist statement, filled with bile and ignorance, preaching dishonesty and distance as a standard for a relationship...

quote:

Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Except for the many (majority of?) times when this is patently untrue, of course.

quote:
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

More that shows the author's true colors:  those being sexist, bitter and ignorant.

quote:

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need.
And let's add "unrealistic" to that list.
 
 
Seriously, some of the things in this list were good statements but they are overshadowed by those that displayed the author's issues with men.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 12/13/2007 7:48:00 PM >

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 8:16:36 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		There is one line I agree with here

quote:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.


 
Although I do not agree with this line

quote:

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.


 
In my experience a man that loves you will want to be the most important thing to you, and he will want you to know how good he is, and the smart woman never misses the opportunity to let a man know how quasi god-like he is... especiallly when on her knees before him.. but that is just my experience.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 8:19:32 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Most of this advice is old school advice.
I am totally an old school person.
 
Many aspects of human nature and life never change.
Common sense just ain't that common either.
 
Aww I deleted that julia, but don't give away the damn store! 

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/13/2007 9:07:50 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 8:27:14 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		why buy the cow without a milk sample?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 8:54:38 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Bravo on 75% of this list.  Despite the faults, I think people would do a lot better listening to this advice than not. 

My faves:
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
supplementary.

And whoever said common sense ain't so common... sooooooo true!


_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 9:03:43 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		don't these two statements kind of contradict each other?


quote:

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. 

 
quote:

I am Sir's devoted property

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 9:16:10 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		There are a few lines in there that are words of wisdom, and the rest of it seems laced with vague feminism and vanilla attitudes.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 9:17:54 PM   
LittleWench


Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		You know a lot of this reads like a how not to have a BDSM relationship guide....

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
He's my Master he will do as he damn well pleases, I don't need to make excuses for him.

Slower is better.
Unless he grabs you at the door as you get in, forces you up against the wall, all your packages dropped at your feet, twisted around, panties ripped down BANG

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Unless you are a D-type and then of course you control your submissive.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
And then get off every time your Master pushes those boundaries and shoves you out of your comfort zone.

If something bothers you, speak up.
Unless you are wearing a gag.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
And then we will both get off on it.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
Mmmmmm I hope he brings that flogger tonight.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two-way street.
Well I can't really do him doggy style now can I?  Of course I am the one that bends
Seriously though...



(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 10:22:16 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

There are a few lines in there that are words of wisdom, and the rest of it seems laced with vague feminism and vanilla attitudes.


Very vanilla.,.. like the "take for granted" part... perhaps other subs are different from me, but playing games to keep him from taking me for granted would leave me without a dom

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: If a man wants you - 12/13/2007 10:39:15 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

In my experience a man that loves you will want to be the most important thing to you, and he will want you to know how good he is, and the smart woman never misses the opportunity to let a man know how quasi god-like he is... especiallly when on her knees before him.. but that is just my experience.


This is my experience, as well.   And I agree with the game playing comment, too.  Then again, it's hard to let him know how important he is to me if I'm too busy trying to make him miss me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: If a man wants you - 12/14/2007 7:03:30 AM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Sirsinini,

You forgot something that I heard once that I always cite when a woman is making excuses for a man not being able to see her, be with her, etc.

If a man wants you, he will crawl over broken glass to get to you.

Believe it. 



Absolutely.  I posted this NOT because of the pregnant stuff....but because so many women ACCEPT the fact that they are "cared for" and owned, yet their Owner/Master/Dom/me has no time to see them, be with them, communicate with them, etc
 
Havent we read thread after thread about submissives asking about the same stuff in these words...WRITTEN BY A MAN...(I can provide his name and email address if you dont believe me) ....and ask IS THIS NORMAL??
 
Remember this book?
He's just not that into you!
http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200504/tows_past_20050427.jhtml

I wrote the original author (of this email) back and told him...its just not a man thing, but the title could very well be IF A WOMAN WANTS YOU.If your relationship shows YOU your SO is into you, you have no reason to banter about useless things....but let others know that this is a problem both in "lifestyle" and outside in our daily lives.
 
How man women have run to these boards saying these very things and what is the advice....RUN!
 
Just another way of waking a sour relationship in question up and asking is that Dom/me that into you.
 
I was destroyed by this type of man, who remains on this site, and I let it destroy me cause I always thought... with each crumb, he still wants me.  I woke up.  Their is a quote...something about not letting the other make you second best.......
this is just another MAN's perspective on the whole situation.

I went from a man who was NOT into me to a man who WANTS me for me.  That is why I am Sir's devoted property 

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: If a man wants you - 12/14/2007 7:09:11 AM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
 
Seriously, some of the things in this list were good statements but they are overshadowed by those that displayed the author's issues with men.


Seriously Rumpus...you have seriously misjudged me and this shows your true colors, because I didnt write this..only repeated it for others to learn by.  I wont ask for an apology..I dont expect one from arrogance."
 
Edited to add~~ 
Once you label me, you negate me" ~ Soren Kierkegaard 
You labeled me ...you negate me....

Sir's devoted property who does not have issues with men, even the one who did this to me...he knows that I have forgiven him and moved on.  If you dont believe me...write me on the other side and email himself and ask

< Message edited by Sirsinini -- 12/14/2007 7:11:26 AM >

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: If a man wants you - 12/14/2007 7:19:19 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.


I have to agree with this and it should work both ways. Never put anyone up that high on a pedestal, because if you do you are just looking to be disappointed. We are humans and we all make mistakes.

I love my malesub when he kneels at my feet and looks up at me with those adoring eyes, but I always remind him that I am his Mistress, not a Goddess. He can praise me but he cannot worship me.

~Lashra



_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: If a man wants you - 12/14/2007 7:23:24 AM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		The 15 Personal Characteristics of a Master:

1. Honor... in all things.

2. Dominance... of himself and of those who depend on his command.

3. Consistency... in his dealings with freepersons and slaves.

4. Strength... to not be swayed from his principles.

5. Self-assured... not dependent on others for approval.

6. Curiosity... to delve into the individual.

7. Wisdom... to understand what curiosity has discovered.

8. Maturity... to understand, but not misuse, the power of his Mastery.

9. Sensitivity... to have interest in, and to listen keenly for the
concerns and issues of others and his slave.

10. Compassion... to hear the true feelings of his slaves, and to deal
fairly with issues raised, within the confines of his principles and
command.

11. Accountability... to accept the responsibility for the behavior of
his slave and himself; to accept responsibility for the safety and
security of his slave; and to deal honorably with any issues that
arise for either concern.

12. Courage... both to stand up for his principles and honor and the
courage to admit a mistake when he recognizes one has been made.

13. Advocate... for the endurance and prosperity of our love/lifestyle
culture.

14. Ally... standing shoulder to shoulder with other advocates of our
love/lifestyle culture..

15. Mentor... to others who have need of his example.


I just found this..... If you are with a man/woman first posted...you want to ditch them and find this kind.

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 20
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