If a man wants you

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Sirsinini -> If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:12:44 PM)
IF A MAN WANTS YOU If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship th at's not meant to be Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. C hange comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. I am Sir's devoted property

KatyLied -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:16:47 PM)
quote: Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Where the women in all of this getting pregnant? He didn't do it by himself. Just saying.

Aylee -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:19:58 PM)
quote: Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Maybe I am an old-fashioned prude, but is this not the reason that you get married BEFORE you have children? Not that anyone's life choice is right or wrong. . . But I am just thinking of the whole "Stages of life" things from psychology.

sexyred1 -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:20:39 PM)
Sirsinini, You forgot something that I heard once that I always cite when a woman is making excuses for a man not being able to see her, be with her, etc. If a man wants you, he will crawl over broken glass to get to you. Believe it.

allcatsaregrey -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:21:33 PM)
"There is nothing cute about baggage" - hehehe. [:D]

Maya2001 -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:32:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allcatsaregrey "There is nothing cute about baggage" - hehehe. [:D] Only when I comes with a plane ticket to a hot vacations spot [:D]

RumpusParable -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 7:44:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirsinini Slower is better. Except when it's not. quote: Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. I'd say not even then. Never live your life for another. quote: If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Not at all true. The treatment one should expect from a lover or life-mate is MUCH different, often, than what one should expect from a friend... and someone can absolutely not be a match as a life-mate but make an excellent friend. quote: Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Except that getting someone pregnant is a terrible reason, by itself, to marry them and not having married someone(s) for that reason actually shows good judgement. Except that you may be the person he actually loves and is compatible with to marry. Except that you may have no interest in having children or be incapable. quote: Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. An obviously bitter and sexist statement, filled with bile and ignorance, preaching dishonesty and distance as a standard for a relationship... quote: Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. Except for the many (majority of?) times when this is patently untrue, of course. quote: Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. More that shows the author's true colors: those being sexist, bitter and ignorant. quote: Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. And let's add "unrealistic" to that list. Seriously, some of the things in this list were good statements but they are overshadowed by those that displayed the author's issues with men.

juliaoceania -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 8:16:36 PM)
There is one line I agree with here quote: If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Although I do not agree with this line quote: Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. In my experience a man that loves you will want to be the most important thing to you, and he will want you to know how good he is, and the smart woman never misses the opportunity to let a man know how quasi god-like he is... especiallly when on her knees before him.. but that is just my experience.

MzMia -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 8:19:32 PM)
Most of this advice is old school advice. I am totally an old school person. Many aspects of human nature and life never change. Common sense just ain't that common either. Aww I deleted that julia, but don't give away the damn store!

juliaoceania -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 8:27:14 PM)
why buy the cow without a milk sample?

Tigrita -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 8:54:38 PM)
Bravo on 75% of this list. Despite the faults, I think people would do a lot better listening to this advice than not. My faves: Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. If something bothers you, speak up. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. And whoever said common sense ain't so common... sooooooo true!

daddysliloneds -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 9:03:43 PM)
don't these two statements kind of contradict each other? quote: Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. quote: I am Sir's devoted property

marieToo -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 9:16:10 PM)
There are a few lines in there that are words of wisdom, and the rest of it seems laced with vague feminism and vanilla attitudes.

LittleWench -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 9:17:54 PM)
You know a lot of this reads like a how not to have a BDSM relationship guide.... Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. He's my Master he will do as he damn well pleases, I don't need to make excuses for him. Slower is better. Unless he grabs you at the door as you get in, forces you up against the wall, all your packages dropped at your feet, twisted around, panties ripped down BANG The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Unless you are a D-type and then of course you control your submissive. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. And then get off every time your Master pushes those boundaries and shoves you out of your comfort zone. If something bothers you, speak up. Unless you are wearing a gag. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. And then we will both get off on it. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. Mmmmmm I hope he brings that flogger tonight. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. Well I can't really do him doggy style now can I? Of course I am the one that bends [;)] Seriously though...

juliaoceania -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 10:22:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo There are a few lines in there that are words of wisdom, and the rest of it seems laced with vague feminism and vanilla attitudes. Very vanilla.,.. like the "take for granted" part... perhaps other subs are different from me, but playing games to keep him from taking me for granted would leave me without a dom

ownedgirlie -> RE: If a man wants you (12/13/2007 10:39:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania In my experience a man that loves you will want to be the most important thing to you, and he will want you to know how good he is, and the smart woman never misses the opportunity to let a man know how quasi god-like he is... especiallly when on her knees before him.. but that is just my experience. This is my experience, as well. And I agree with the game playing comment, too. Then again, it's hard to let him know how important he is to me if I'm too busy trying to make him miss me.

Sirsinini -> RE: If a man wants you (12/14/2007 7:03:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Sirsinini, You forgot something that I heard once that I always cite when a woman is making excuses for a man not being able to see her, be with her, etc. If a man wants you, he will crawl over broken glass to get to you. Believe it. Absolutely. I posted this NOT because of the pregnant stuff....but because so many women ACCEPT the fact that they are "cared for" and owned, yet their Owner/Master/Dom/me has no time to see them, be with them, communicate with them, etc Havent we read thread after thread about submissives asking about the same stuff in these words...WRITTEN BY A MAN...(I can provide his name and email address if you dont believe me) ....and ask IS THIS NORMAL?? Remember this book? He's just not that into you! http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200504/tows_past_20050427.jhtml I wrote the original author (of this email) back and told him...its just not a man thing, but the title could very well be IF A WOMAN WANTS YOU.If your relationship shows YOU your SO is into you, you have no reason to banter about useless things....but let others know that this is a problem both in "lifestyle" and outside in our daily lives. How man women have run to these boards saying these very things and what is the advice....RUN! Just another way of waking a sour relationship in question up and asking is that Dom/me that into you. I was destroyed by this type of man, who remains on this site, and I let it destroy me cause I always thought... with each crumb, he still wants me. I woke up. Their is a quote...something about not letting the other make you second best....... this is just another MAN's perspective on the whole situation. I went from a man who was NOT into me to a man who WANTS me for me. That is why I am Sir's devoted property

Sirsinini -> RE: If a man wants you (12/14/2007 7:09:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RumpusParable Seriously, some of the things in this list were good statements but they are overshadowed by those that displayed the author's issues with men. Seriously Rumpus...you have seriously misjudged me and this shows your true colors, because I didnt write this..only repeated it for others to learn by. I wont ask for an apology..I dont expect one from arrogance." Edited to add~~ Once you label me, you negate me" ~ Soren Kierkegaard You labeled me ...you negate me.... Sir's devoted property who does not have issues with men, even the one who did this to me...he knows that I have forgiven him and moved on. If you dont believe me...write me on the other side and email himself and ask

Lashra -> RE: If a man wants you (12/14/2007 7:19:19 AM)
quote: Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. I have to agree with this and it should work both ways. Never put anyone up that high on a pedestal, because if you do you are just looking to be disappointed. We are humans and we all make mistakes. I love my malesub when he kneels at my feet and looks up at me with those adoring eyes, but I always remind him that I am his Mistress, not a Goddess. He can praise me but he cannot worship me. ~Lashra

Sirsinini -> RE: If a man wants you (12/14/2007 7:23:24 AM)
The 15 Personal Characteristics of a Master: 1. Honor... in all things. 2. Dominance... of himself and of those who depend on his command. 3. Consistency... in his dealings with freepersons and slaves. 4. Strength... to not be swayed from his principles. 5. Self-assured... not dependent on others for approval. 6. Curiosity... to delve into the individual. 7. Wisdom... to understand what curiosity has discovered. 8. Maturity... to understand, but not misuse, the power of his Mastery. 9. Sensitivity... to have interest in, and to listen keenly for the concerns and issues of others and his slave. 10. Compassion... to hear the true feelings of his slaves, and to deal fairly with issues raised, within the confines of his principles and command. 11. Accountability... to accept the responsibility for the behavior of his slave and himself; to accept responsibility for the safety and security of his slave; and to deal honorably with any issues that arise for either concern. 12. Courage... both to stand up for his principles and honor and the courage to admit a mistake when he recognizes one has been made. 13. Advocate... for the endurance and prosperity of our love/lifestyle culture. 14. Ally... standing shoulder to shoulder with other advocates of our love/lifestyle culture.. 15. Mentor... to others who have need of his example. I just found this..... If you are with a man/woman first posted...you want to ditch them and find this kind.

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