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How important is your profile if you are not seeking an... - 12/12/2007 12:17:43 AM

LittleWench

Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

I have been a lurker on the CM boards for some two years, browsing off and on. Something in real life would peak my curiosity, I would come in and look at the boards for a few days, and then wander off and do my own thing. I didn't have a profile created because I wasn't actively looking for a Dom, I was happy and content to simply read and enjoy the content. As I had no real life experience I didn't feel I had the basis to respond to any of the posts, was just content to read, listen and learn.

I met my partner about a year ago in a vanilla setting and after some wonderfully kinky sex with him in real time, which led to our discussion to make the switch in power to a D/s, I decided I wanted to become an active participant on the forums. Having some real life experience, I felt that I had more to ask in the way of question, although probably not that much more to offer in the way of advice. Posting meant creating a profile, so I picked a name that incorporates one of his names for me, Wench. When I created my profile I simply stated that this profile was active so that I could participate in the forums, and I wished those that were viewing good luck with their search.

So I get an email questioning my locale (Australia) and asking my why didn't I post from my real profile. I am boggled. I didn't put my likes, dislikes, what I am searching for, well simply because I didnt meet my partner on collarme and I am not looking for another partner, simply I need a profile means to participate in the forums.

So how important is a fully fleshed profile on the dating side in relation to participating on this side? Does the information there bear weight on your credibility on the forum side? For those of you in committed relationships and have no need for an 'actively seeking' profile, what do you put in your profile and why?

Post #: 1

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 12:23:49 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

If people are reading my posts on here I feel it's important for them to know a little bit about me, even though I'm not looking. My profile states that fact clearly. Saves people having to troll through my posts to find out if I know what I'm talking about

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 2

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 12:34:30 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I took all the narrative out of my profile specifically because people couldn't seem to understand that the big black letters saying NO LONGER LOOKING really meant that. It's much harder to miss now and the emails are fewer other than from people on the forums.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 3

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 12:34:47 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

I've noticed that those who troll on this side tend to get flamed for not having a 'real' profile. While those who ask valid questions tend not to get fllamed as frequently.

If you do not feel the need to create a full-fledged profile on the dating side of this site I don't think it is necessary for you to worry about those few who question your authenticity. Why worry what someone that you do not know has to say? They do not live with you, they are not your partner, and they really do not know your situation. Let them be critical - it shows their lack of ability to see beyond their own circumstances. Do you really want someone who isn't capable of broad thought dictating to you how you should run your affairs?

If you continue to post valid concerns; many people will respond to you based upon the sincerity of your question.

If at some point you still feel the need to create a profile on the dating side due to peer pressure from this site, be sure to discuss it with your significant other so that they do not think you are doing so just to find a replacement and see if they are comfortable with it. You can put in that profile that you are in fact involved with someone - however, keep in mind, there are many who won't read what you write in your profile anyway and with an active profile you might be subjected to more contacts from undesirable people. If you find yourself becoming friendly with members of the forum board, having a profile on the otherside could be beneficial in that you could receive mail from them. You really need to determine what is most beneficial to you and yours and don't worry so much about other peoples rules of what is proper.

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Ask a Mistress Forum FAQ
Profile Help

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 4

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 1:12:26 AM

CliarSiofra

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: ask
Status: offline

don't really need one. its nice if someone want to get a better understanding of the person posting. but definatly not necessary .

if i were just forum posting i would have small thing saying. "not looking just here to read and post on forums"

_____________________________

The tragic comedy divine,
Paints the way to peace of mind.
Leaving shallow lovers far behind.
Past uncertainties combine.
Bringing tears to sleepless eyes.
Memory runs the course of time.~The Birthday Massacre

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 5

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 3:06:19 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

What people either do not know or do not remember - you choose which section they come from - is that collarme and collar chat forum aren't the same thing, and that someone can have a profile on this forum side, and the profile and name on the other side may not be them.

Unless you create the profile on the other side first, you can't guarrentee having the same nick on that side as you do here.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 6

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 4:15:37 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I thought that profiling was against the law???

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 7

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 5:05:22 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I am here only for the forums; what's more, that is all my profile states. Sometimes I throw in a couple more sentences or phrases just for the hell of it but it does not change why I am here.

I have had a couple people write and tell me that I am wasting space here...I just laugh at them; I actually find it amusing that someone has to 'make themselves' appear as a Dominant by saying such things. They can be fun to umm...mess around with on the other side lol.

/shrug

Either way, it matters very little to me if people question why I have a profile up. If they can't understand what I have written there...that's their issue, not mine.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 8

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 5:15:18 AM

Gardenista

Posts: 146
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline

My old username has personal information, this one doesn't. I don't think it matters too much since I'm here for the forums. Some people put way to much stock in profiles... they're useful as a personality-at-a-glance but that's about it.

I get less trollling PMs with this one, which is nice. =)

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 9

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 5:17:56 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

My profile states clearly that I'm only here for friends and for the forums. I did put in a little bit about me, but that's basically for other posters who check my profile to get a little idea of me, not to attract anyone for a relationship. I'm not looking, I just enjoy the forums. I figure if someone has a problem with that, it's their problem and nothing to do with me; and they probably need to get a life rather than freaking over whether someone belongs on some site or not.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 10

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 6:01:31 AM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

When I started posting here I was in a relationship and not looking. I had a full profile (it was much longer then my current one) stating I was here for friends and that I was in a relationship. Well now it's more I'm single and looking and here for friends too.

I also enjoy when people have profiles since its a nice way to get to know a little more about them And also it can be used to get basic facts about a person (if they're single, gender (for pronouns) and it helps me with questions).

I don't feel that it's required but it's personally I find it helpful.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

Post #: 11

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 7:11:29 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

You don't even need a profile to post here. I no longer have one. I like the fact that I don't get cmail anymore.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 12/12/2007 7:12:02 AM >

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 12

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 7:14:30 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

A profile is very important. First of all, if I strongly disagree with someone on a forum, I will look at their profile and see if there is a difference in beliefs. It is a tool to avoid conflict.
Second, they are invaluable in chat rooms. You can tell if you wish to challenge a person or not by reading them.
For example, I am bdsm, but conservative. I know I will not agree with a person who is liberal leather. This doesn't mean that I don't like them, it just saves everyone a lot of a headache by knowing who you are and how you think.
It works for me now. I am doing much better by not getting into conflicts with things I cannot change.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 13

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 7:22:38 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

In the broad scope of things, i really dont care about the profile , my journal is more up to date and give a lil insight ,i do not get much mail at all , and i have been on for YEARS .I am more involved in community VS having an online whatever with someone far away .Yes Yes your the Domme of my dreams Thanks so much for writting FROM GREENLAND ..or Russia .

(in reply to MissSCD)

Post #: 14

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 7:23:36 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

It seems that you have joined the ranks of those female submissives on here who get the trolling letters. It is almost bound to happen unless you choose not to have a profile. Let's face it, some male dominants...and even some male submissives...cannot seem to see any line that states that you are "not looking". Other male dominants...and even some male submissives...see that type of line as a challenge.

I have several submissive female friends from here who have told me about the mail they get, despite their statements that they are not looking. One of them told me about a cmail she got from a male submissive who stated that he would submit to her by dominating her(???!!!???).

My profile is what it is. I make no bones about seeking out a LTR. Nor do I make bones about the fact that for me, relocation would have to be on the submissive unless the relationship becomes something so great that I would be willing to start over again elsewhere and build a new practice. Funny, but since I added the statement about definitely ooking for a LTR but not being willing to relocate except in very special circumstances seems to have slowed some of the mail I was getting...

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 15

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 8:43:57 AM

LittleWench

Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for everyone who replied. I didn't have a profile up until yesterday, I created the account with the LittleWench name and didn't activate the profile, I only did so because someone on the forums offered their friendship and said I could email them, and of course I needed an active profile to do so. I then put in my profile that it was active purely so I could use the forums. I guess I asked because I did lurk for so long and I wondered of the opinions of regular posters, as to what "proper protocol" was. As this is a community that I would like to feel welcome in, if something as simple as my profile was going to ruffle feathers then it was easily changed.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 16

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 8:57:57 AM

lockmeupplease

Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

To those "forum-ites" who have an issue with whether or not you have a profile, I would respectfully suggest they remove the extra large object from their posteriors and lighten up! As long as you find the forums interesting/funny/informative and aren't using them to look for whacking material, do whatever makes you comfortable.

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 17

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 10:06:01 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

There is almost nothing in my profile, but a few sentences. I am clearly owned (as reflected in my CM name), and those who wish to know more about me can ask, and sometimes do. I am rarely trolled, and I have never been given any flak due to lack of profile information. Due to some changes that are occuring in our dynamic, I may edit the profile at some point. Otherwise, it's not something I spend any energy thinking about.

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 18

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 11:11:20 AM

FRSguy

Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I've kind of gone back and forth on the issue. Right now I have my profile turned off and at some point I will turn it back on. I have posted pictures and then removed them a few days later. I like it better when I dont have a profile but then I am active in the forums and people get pissed about not being able to get more info on me. Then I turn it on and get shit from the other end... seems like no way to win...lol

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 19

RE: How important is your profile if you are not seekin... - 12/12/2007 12:34:36 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I recently changed my profile to "friends only". I took out what I was looking for, but I left all the text and choices that describe me. I did this so that people who click through from the forum can look and get to know me a little better.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 20

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