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DesFIP -> RE: In Search oF A Collarme speacil (12/10/2007 6:20:24 PM)
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And what's wrong with a lusting, sex crazed predator? The point is that if he's just interested in kinky sex, that doesn't make him evil. It just makes him incompatible with you.
There are no short cuts to finding a compatible certain someone. But some of the essentials include knowing yourself. Which means if you say you hate addicts, but your last ten partners have been addicts, the problem lies in you. You need to find out why you are attracted to addicts and do the work to change that.
Beyond that, pay attention. Pay attention to what people say. Most of us repeat things, either talking about a subject from more than one angle or discussing it more than once. If what they say is hugely different each time, that's a red flag.
Wait until you see them in a stressful situation to see how they actually react compared to how they say they react.
See how they treat those who are in positions of less power than them. If they're rude to waitstaff they'll likely be rude to anyone providing them service. It's a truism because it holds a lot of truth.
Watch how they handle their responsibilities. Do they accept responsibility for screwing up? If so, how do they propose to not do so again and how do they plain to put things right.
You judge people here the same way you judge them anywhere else.
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