Living by the book !! (Full Version)

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missturbation -> Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 2:09:07 AM)

Recently (probably wayyyy after most here) i started reading 'the ethical slut'. I'm only about half way through and so far it's been an interesting read. I've found though as i've been laid in my bed cuddling Mr bear, head buried in book, i've had severe moments of deja vu!  
I've laid pondering 'where have i heard that advice before? Maybe worded a little differently but a definite same concept. I've even read exact wording in the book that i've read / heard somewhere before!
It took me a little while to click but eventually it came to me! On one of the forum boards i post in a certain poster gives advice etc that is a virtual carbon copy of the advice i have so far read in 'the ethical slut'.
Completely aside from the issue of quoting and not crediting the author, i have to wonder why someone would choose to live to the letter by a book? Part of me says that if it works for them it's all good. I know i personally have taken some advice from the book and thought 'yeah thats good, i'll remember that'. However i've always been of the opinion that you read these books, take what works for you and discard the rest. Is it really possible that every piece of advice in there can work for one person? That it can be read as kind of like a bible and lived by?  
Then there is the issue that this person 'quotes' from this book, rearranges what has been written into their own words and then passes it off as their own wisdom. I'm not saying that any advice given here or in other forums is all original and not gathered from a number of sources, but i do wonder at the healthiness and honesty in advice given virtually straight from a book.
I've not really got any questions, just pondering and wondering what others thoughts on this are.
 



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 2:42:16 AM)

I honestly don't believe anybody will follow any one book completely.  Us human beings tend to assumilate things from things we read, experience, and other people we exchange thought with.

The real question here, is how right is this advice for you or not?  I've seen people quote different religious passages on here,  I've seen quotes used by famous people posted on here as well.

Often people will learn things, read things and it will have a meaningful impact on their own lives.   When they share these things often the thoughts are rearranged somewhat, because they got the meaning, however don't have the exact quote down in their mind.

Even people (authors) that write books borrow what they know from their own experiences, thoughts, and thoughts of others.   Us human beings tend to do a lot of information assumiluating and processing.    I think it's impossible for one to live life by any one single book or source of information.

Sure you can shoot the person that delivers or shares these things with you, but it does not change the meaning of the message.   So it may be a case that somebody read the same book you are reading, and they assumilated it into their own belief system and way to live life.



Maya2001 -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 3:11:47 AM)

Many parts of the book could just be common sense to most other people,  and they may express very similiar words without having actually read the book,  like you I do not take every thing I read to heart and live by, I like to read from a variety of sources inorder to expand my own knowledge  and apply what makes sense/fits/agrees my own views,  which I may possible use as advice here in my own words and reading froim several sources you often see strong similiarities in POV does not mean they necessarily copied from each other but held similiar opinions,  there maybe times I will use a direct quote in reponse but  when I do that I then will supply a link or indentify the resource or author

I do think it might be a broad assumption/judgement  on your part to assume that the person in using the book as her bible without knowing her well and dissecting every response she made to determine if all of or most the advice given is directly related to one resource only.

just my own thoughts .......



missturbation -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 4:24:57 AM)

I'm not trying to shoot anyone with this thread.
Being honest though i do have to wonder about people who religiously live by self help books, religious books etc etc. As i said before all power to them if it works for them but i can't help but question it.



missturbation -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 4:28:15 AM)

quote:

I do think it might be a broad assumption/judgement  on your part to assume that the person in using the book as her bible without knowing her well and dissecting every response she made to determine if all of or most the advice given is directly related to one resource only.

It is a carefully made assumption, but yes still an assumption. Judgement, no i dont think so. Im not saying this person is wrong or right to live / partially live by this book.
I havent needed to dissect anything, i knew i had read the advice somewhere before and soon clicked who it was from. It was just a sense of deja vu, not a premeditated action like you are implying.



RCdc -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 4:43:48 AM)

Awww Misst - now you got me all awanting to know who it is![;)]
But seriously - is it possible to live by the book?  Yes - but then I would call that someone taking anothers words, turning it into gospel and making it their religion.  If it works for them, is all good.
 
the.dark.



missturbation -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 4:55:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Awww Misst - now you got me all awanting to know who it is![;)]
But seriously - is it possible to live by the book?  Yes - but then I would call that someone taking anothers words, turning it into gospel and making it their religion.  If it works for them, is all good.
 
the.dark.

 
Lol [:D]



Dnomyar -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 5:38:17 AM)

What about Gore. Dont they live by a book?



mnottertail -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 5:39:50 AM)

Nope......not in that way.

Gor Man 



dawntreader -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 5:40:37 AM)

i have read this book myself and loved it! i have actually met one of the authors in person, Catherine, and my book is signed by her :-)
 
There is alot of common sense in the book but it is only such if one has an opened mind - otherwise, i think people's predispositions , prejudices and insecurities get in the way. After reading it, i personally realized how few authentic poly people there are that are "self proclaimed" in my life. i have a greater appreciation for those that make it work. Personally, i have yet to met an authentically poly slave/sub.
 
The next time Catherine Liszt comes back to Charlotte for a CAPEX event, i plan on finding time to bring that subject up with her. i find it very interesting the higher number of Dominants that actively persue poly relationships and the inflated number of submissives and slaves that "say" they are poly but have enough self-esteem issues that "sharing" becomes a major issue. (And i am speaking personal experience as a "third"). i am not being judgemental about this, especially to those that i have been involved with that post here at CM and would read this. i think it is harder to be poly than people realize or want to believe.
 
 
 
It must be a fantasy of many but few have the ability to pull it off like Catherine and Dossie. i have never claimed poly and have tried to wrap my own head and insecurities around the concept...hence my reading of the book. i think when i get relocated to a more open and forward thinking community such as those in California, i might explore it...but so far, every relationship i have entered in as a third - even casually, has not been an overall positive poly experience - and i had not even unpacked my own "baggage"!
 
For me, i would like to try it. i would like to conquer my own insecurities and love another woman non-sexually enough that she would not be a threat to my relationship with the Man we would both be involved with...just another chapter to explore in the future.
 
i am grateful for a book that helps pave the way so to speak and even though i would not follow it as "law" i find the experiences of others invaluable to my own life - i am not about reinventing the wheel~
j
 
 



Dnomyar -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 6:43:25 AM)

Ron I wasnt talking about Al Gore.



missturbation -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 6:48:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

What about Gore. Dont they live by a book?


I don't really know enough about Gor to comment if i'm honest. However if they live by the book to the extent i am talking, then yes i would question it.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:12:01 AM)

unless you have met that particular poster in the flesh...how do you know it isn't the author of the book, posting the same thoughts, just under a "pen-name"?
 
granted, though many do, perhaps there are authors who do not promote their published works on the message forums they frequent, in connection with any advice or related experiences.
 
never read the book you are referring to, so this slave wouldn't know the difference between someone posting quotes from the book as their own advice and experience.
 
lots of folks "live by" diet books, self-help books, Gor novels, though most this slave have come into contact with will credit the book and/or the author for the positive change or habits they have developed because of them.
 
have you thought about sending the poster a CM mail and asking directly?



dawntreader -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:14:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

unless you have met that particular poster in the flesh...how do you know it isn't the author of the book, posting the same thoughts, just under a "pen-name"?
 
have you thought about sending the poster a CM mail and asking directly?


Excellent thought!



ghitaPVH -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:25:30 AM)

Ive never personally read the book your talking about, although its one Ive wanted to for a while now....

Id suggest taking up Mercnbeths advice...if you really are curious about them personally...however, if you really dont care about that and really just want to know about how close someone can actually live to following a book word for word.....go find a southern baptist and ask how much of the bible the quote in their day to day advice giving......



missturbation -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:30:08 AM)

quote:

unless you have met that particular poster in the flesh...how do you know it isn't the author of the book, posting the same thoughts, just under a "pen-name"?

I don't.
quote:

have you thought about sending the poster a CM mail and asking directly?

No. This thread was never meant to be about them per se but the concept of living by a book. Be it the bible, gor, ethical slut, diet book etc etc.



juliaoceania -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:31:48 AM)

I do not think it is "ethical" (forgive the pun) to do what this person may doing. In academia you give credit to the people who have the ideas that you have borrowed. Proving they have done it is another matter, and not something that would be worth proving most likely



Vanatru -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:37:42 AM)

Merc, I was thinking along your lines. I'm in several yahoo groups where there are published authors that post and have incredible amounts of knowledge in the fields they specialize and I certainly enjoy their input in the subject matter being covered.



missturbation -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:42:15 AM)

Please guys, this thread isnt really about whether he / she is the author of the book or not. Its not even about the ethics of quoting others work as your own. Its about the concept of 'living by the book'.



juliaoceania -> RE: Living by the book !! (12/7/2007 7:43:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Please guys, this thread isnt really about whether he / she is the author of the book or not. Its not even about the ethics of quoting others work as your own. Its about the concept of 'living by the book'.


Living by a book is something that Christians do all the time... not for me, but hey, it works for them



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