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Have you? (Full Version)

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Kaiynasha -> Have you? (12/6/2007 5:02:35 PM)
After an intense scene become emotional yourself? Or become emotional during the actual scene- say a flogging or whipping. Being completely thrilled by it all but just emotionally you feel like crying. I had this happen to me. I wondered if it had something to do with the scene itself or perhaps something personal with me. Which could have been one or the other or both. But I just wanted to gain opinion from others about suddenly getting emotional during a scene and how did you handle it?

Dolce -> RE: Have you? (12/6/2007 5:16:40 PM)
I cried during my first paddling. It was a part of my training at the time, and my behind was rather sore. My dom at the time didn't see my tears until after he finished...and I think I scared him :-p I honestly hadn't known what to expect and was shocked at how much it stung. I didn't get quite so emotional after that. :-)

ShaktiSama -> RE: Have you? (12/6/2007 5:21:47 PM)
Powerful experiences do have a tendency to shake things loose. It can happen to anyone, and sometimes a top needs more aftercare than the bottom--there are times when "This hurts me more than it hurts you" is really the truth.

HottLicks -> RE: Have you? (12/6/2007 5:32:42 PM)
I've gotten emotional. I love those moments. The look on his face, looking up at me, eyes wide or shocked or just seeing his emotion or love and knowing what is going on with him and how much love there is between us. I love the vulnerablity in his eyes and expressions and know that he looks at no one like he looks at me. To see a very macho man... a manly man in the world, tough by any standards... a strong man able to meet toe to toe with just about any man alive... who kneels before me... bends before me... lays before me... humbled and vulnerable, submitting to me... well that just triggers me in lots of ways! Sometimes it is the love and faith... sometimes it is the actual acts we are involved in.... sometimes it is simply because of the frustrations in life that are at that moment, forgotten with the release, but all the same... ours. I don't think there is anything to really handle since we share everything without any concept that there might be something wrong with any of our emotions. It's just one more thing to share, whatever it is. It's ours and us and is all beautiful.

beltainefaerie -> RE: Have you? (12/6/2007 5:38:52 PM)
Master loves it when I cry. The first time it happened was shortly after we began playing, when I realized that contract or no, he could literally do what he wanted with me and I would obey. I had serious emotional turmoil, because I love my husband and our rules were agreed upon by all involved (my husband, Master, his wife and I). I felt like a terrible person, a horrible wife, realizing that Master could take me right there and I, in subspace, would not have protested. Of course when I confessed this to my husband upon returning home, he laughed and hugged me and just said, Of course you felt that way. Why do you think I am so careful about who you play with?" It has happened at other times too. Generally I cry from emotional experiences, rather than physical pain. We always talk about scenes afterwards and sometimes I know why I've cried and other times it is just part of the cathartic release that being hit and used gives me.

LadyPact -> RE: Have you? (12/6/2007 6:35:33 PM)
Do I cry during or after scenes? No. However, I do get a bit emotional at certain times after playing. The best description would probably be deep gratitude or appreciation, for the person who has been such a wonderful part of O/our experience together. I let Myself feel that intimacy (not sexual) that W/we have shared. The closeness of it. That it's a moment that is being unique to just U/us. Sure, there have been other experiences and others will follow, but the beauty that I'm sharing, is with this person. They are with Me. In the same endorphin filled state that I am. No one else is in the same place W/we are in that speck of time. Don't ever let anyone convince you that some of Us sadists aren't emotional.

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 2:18:59 AM)
I get fairly emotional after an intense session (dislike scene, because it just doesn't sond right for what I do with my lover), and usually deal by holding him close to me, and it usually doesn't progress all the way to tears, but it has a few times. I love it all though, feeling so much that I nearly lose control of me. M

catleggs -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 4:53:10 AM)
Well, I don't really get emotional. yea.. I am very focused durring the session, and in tune with the submissive. I love working him to the point of tears and relish his release after the beating is all over. But me, I tend to take on board all the engery that has been flying around durring the session. I seem to get almost hyper. I know I can be very chatty lol (whatta pain) and feel as though I can do almost anything. Feed the five thousand, part the red sea, etc.. you name it, I'll give it a go. That feeling is short lived, however... only a few hours. After, I hit a kind of wall where I tend to feel very foggy and out of body kind of stuff. Depending on the intensity of the session, it can go on into the next day. Cat

MissOchistic -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 6:10:00 AM)
This has even happened to me during vanilla sex. I really don't understand if my emotional thought process is being opened in such a way that I think of things that would make me cry, or if it's a chemical reaction. The entire process just often makes me incredibly (and irradically) emotional. It's never been harmful, though. At worst, I need a hug and a few minutes to come down (or up).

canupleaseme -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 7:07:38 AM)
Ive noticed a few times if we have had aintense session ive felt like crying, once I cried my heart out after a flogging session, I had accidentaly caught him where I didnt mean to and felt awful. I later found on here references to domme drop which I put it down to. I always find a good cuddle and chat helps me when I feel like that.

thetammyjo -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 8:34:31 AM)
I have cried during and after scenes, positive crying, brought on by the deep submission and trust of my partner or a profound sense of self brought about by a really great orgasm. If I cried for a negative reason, I'd consider that my wake up call on the dynamic.

AMADF -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 10:53:53 AM)
Theres nothing wrong with crying due to emocional things (not cause guilt, abuse or bad pain) during or after a session. BDSM is sutch an intense play that of course will move things inside us. You show yourself completely to someone that gives himself to fulfull mutual deep and sometimes unconscient desires. Its natural to feel million of wonderfull things, and this things can lead up to crying. Don´t be worry but thankfull with life for felling sucth powerfull things is a consesual enviroment. I also get emotional after hard sessions, and a couple of times iv cry after hugging my submissives. The feeling that is on my mind in that moment is :thank you for letting me share this gourgeus moment with you.

laurell3 -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 10:56:34 AM)
I struggled with the fact that I was a masochist for many years while entering the lifestyle. However, because I am a masochist I've never struggled with the fact that I'm a sadist. I know that the people I am with desire the intensity/pain and know personally what it means to receive it and even crave it. I have however, walked away thinking that maybe I should feel more remorse/regret/sorrow, etc. I still cry sometimes as a sub. It isn't because of the pain or feeling badly. Quite the opposite, it's a release of emotion in an intense situation. It may be the same thing on the other side. It's not yet something I have experienced however.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 2:38:11 PM)
Catharsis is a common thing in scenes. Tears of joy and happiness happen all the time, too. Master Fire

Kaiynasha -> RE: Have you? (12/7/2007 6:39:23 PM)
Thanks all for being sincere and open about this question.

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Have you? (12/8/2007 3:00:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha After an intense scene become emotional yourself? Or become emotional during the actual scene- say a flogging or whipping. Being completely thrilled by it all but just emotionally you feel like crying. I had this happen to me. I wondered if it had something to do with the scene itself or perhaps something personal with me...... But I just wanted to gain opinion from others about suddenly getting emotional during a scene and how did you handle it? There is such depth to this question! It certainly is a fascinating one. The question is really two important questions: 1 Do you feel an intense emotional response? 2 Why do you feel so emotional? Few quick thoughts: BDSM can be a powerful experience. And an expression of love in a loving D/s relationship. There would be something wrong if you felt nothing. A scene can be so beautiful it moves you to tears (as can vanilla sex, apparently,but that has never happened to me[&o]). You can also feel tearful for less positive reasons. An intense scene can leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable. Your True Self (which some Doms like to call the inner Beast) has been let off the leash and run rampant for a short time. You have - for a fleeting moment in time - been fully alive. And BDSM got you there. Ever noticed how time stops during intense BDSM? It feels like you were immersed for a few minutes but you look up to see the scene has gone for 3 hours!! That's the BDSM spiritual experience. BDSM is alternative love for some of us. This might be overwhelming at first. Coming down afterwards, something might happen to trigger feelings of shame, guilt, remorse etc You might even feel this way spontaneously. Its very hard to jettison the lessons of childhood such as "nice girls don't hit boys", "nice girls don't do kinky things to get their rocks off", "nice girls are not selfish" etc etc Your soul soared for a short while, but your ego is back now in control and doesn't like your fleeting bids for freedom one little bit. Being in "Top Space" can be a scary ride the first few times. Where was I? Who was I? How could I do those things and feel so exhilarated? We all know that subs go into subspace thanks to endorphins, but an intense scene takes the Top/Domme on a trip to another planet too......and what goes up, must come down. IMO Dommes need "psychological aftercare" in the form of re-assurance from the sub the scene was great and she is still hugely loved and respected, even after revealing her authentic self: violent, controlling, sadistic and very sexual The good news is that you are feeling something. You are not emotionally dissociated. Many drawn to domination are - and its very sad for them and their sub partners. But that is a topic for another day. My only word of caution is that a Domme can be too emotional, in which case something deeper is going on. If emotional repsonse all out of proportion to the triggering event or She is suffering severe mood change, I would suggest counselling. The scene has brought up an issue she has trouble processing (abandonment? abuse? shame?) Watch how you feel and ask "why"? Know Thyself. Serenity will follow I am not a medical professional. This is a suggestion based on my own life experience

vampchick88 -> RE: Have you? (12/8/2007 4:04:55 PM)
Its a natural reaction. Its a way of yourself releasing things which may have stressed you, or just a feeling of complete happiness that your not sure how to take in.

Lureaetagg -> RE: Have you? (12/9/2007 8:19:00 PM)
The first time I had someone bow at my feet was a very powerful thing for me. It was a very emontional experence and I will never forget that moment.

Kirren -> RE: Have you? (12/10/2007 4:56:44 AM)
Ive never cried, but if what happens gets Me off extreamly hard, I will laugh hysterically. Ive held a few subs as theyve cried...most say..when asked what is wrong....that it was the fact that they had never had any one be that attentive to them.

Elorin -> RE: Have you? (12/10/2007 6:44:38 AM)
As a bottom, tears or emotional reaction during and after a scene are pretty common. What I enjoy scares me silly some days. As a top, during scene I've never gotten emotional but after a scene I have found myself very emotional as though the scene has shaken something loose that had been stuck for a while.

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