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Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 5:57:26 AM

DeviantMasteruk

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Just something i have noticed while being back in the UK, that Daddy Dom's seem to have a negative image here compared to the USA. Im just curious on peoples views why that is?

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 6:10:15 AM

juliaoceania

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I did not even know that Daddy Doms have a more negative image there. I do not think you will probably find a lot of answers since most people that post here are American... but I will ask, are you familiar with the American scene? A lot of people misunderstand the Daddy Dom thing here too.... it probably isn't so big of a difference as you think, and I think that disapproval of it is based on ignorance

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 6:21:53 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I did not even know that Daddy Doms have a more negative image there. I do not think you will probably find a lot of answers since most people that post here are American... but I will ask, are you familiar with the American scene? A lot of people misunderstand the Daddy Dom thing here too.... it probably isn't so big of a difference as you think, and I think that disapproval of it is based on ignorance

Yep...I WAS one of those people too...I used to think it was "sick and disgusting" and reeked of "wanna be pedophilia" I was convinced the participants were in desperate need of therapy. Because of the people on here that are willing to have discussions and NOT flame and attack I was able to "hear" different points of view and i actually "changed my mind" about this particular dynamic...So much so that I discovered I needed and desired a Daddy myself LOL go figure.... I have grown so much...Thanks to my Daddy AND the people on here that are nice and helpful. I have learned to ignore the ones that are rude, brutally frank.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 6:43:49 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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the negativity of a Daddy Dom happens on both sides of the pond. some view the dynamic as a sick incestious affair which is not the case. since i cannot speak collectively for the other "daughters", i know for me having a Daddy Dom replaces the years lost of the nuturing and guidance missed with my real father (he's military). there's nothing sick and/or incestious about having a D/s relationship like this. i enjoy being treated like a daughter ...spoiled like a princess and loved like a lil girl.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:15:58 AM

Dnomyar

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Do men have Mommy Dommes?

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:19:03 AM

Dnomyar

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This got me to thinking do men have Daddy Doms. I know Daddy Doms with women but have never seen a Daddy Dom with men.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:23:29 AM

phoenixxy

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The new man in my life is more of a Daddy Dom than i have been with before, I didnt really understanf before, but since being with him i completly love it - i love being his special little girl, and don't find it in anyway peadophilic, but not really something i understood until i met him. (although admidtedly im still very young). But it isnt something that i have heard people say they think is strange anywhere here - but ive not been looking - at the end of the day i dont think it is about being a father to them - more about being a protector and caring and loving partner. It is just the closest word we have to describe the feeling i guess.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:24:05 AM

ghitaPVH

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yes, Dnomyar....they do...

I think a good bit of the negativity stems from the sooooo many different versions of a Daddy Dom. It can mean so many different things to different people. And what gets portrayed the most on the media side of things, are the negitive versions.....you know..the pedophilia versions, and the role play versions that the twue Dom's hate because supposedly you cant be a twue Dom and pamper your sub. But there are way more versions that no one ever really hears about unless they are confronted with it.....

~edited to add...Dnomyar, my first reply was to your Mommy Dommes...but yes, lots and lots and lots of Men have Daddy Doms, take a look at the Leather community. Daddy is an extreamly common title for a Dom in Leather.

< Message edited by ghitaPVH -- 12/6/2007 7:25:51 AM >

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:25:51 AM

chellekitty

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Leather Daddies are very common in the gay leather community

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:36:42 AM

OldBastardly1

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Nicely said, phoenix.

Having a real daughter, I cringe at the Father/daughter talk, but I find the Daddy Dom/little girl terms acceptable. I know, it's silly, but it is me. I have recently come to terms and understood more about the Daddy Dom role, thanks to a wonderful sub girl that I had some involvement with. In doing research into this type of relationship, I realized that it described me rather well. I ENJOY being the protector, the mentor, etc.

I am in a D/s family where I am "patriarch" and there is a female Dominant that has the "matriarch" role. I still don't like to be called "Daddy" because that is what my real life daughter calls me. However, I am perfectly fine being referred to as "Poppa".

Again, I know this seems a bit silly, but I admit it.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 7:37:11 AM

Dnomyar

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ty ladies for your answer. I havent been in touch with the leather community but will correct that.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 8:22:05 AM

DesFIP

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I'm told by Brits that getting a therapist assigned by their National Health is as difficult as pulling teeth. Whereas Americans have a wider availability of help, ranging from expensive one on one, or life coaches, to group therapy, to self help groups costing no more than a buck towards the rent for the church basement and the pound of coffee.

Since people with higher incomes are more able to indulge desires in BDSM, because outfits, toys and clubs are not cheap, we're the same people who are more likely to spend discretionary income on getting personal insights. Along with those insights will come the fact that you want a nurturing, loving but boundary providing partner. And once you've identified what you are looking for, you are more likely to recognize it. Whereas people who haven't done any self work are more likely to have a knee jerk reaction that D/lg means unspeakably evil acts. And once you have enough people who have identified what they need and who are articulate about it then others, like breatheasone said, will learn from them directly.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 8:38:48 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm told by Brits that getting a therapist assigned by their National Health is as difficult as pulling teeth. Whereas Americans have a wider availability of help, ranging from expensive one on one, or life coaches, to group therapy, to self help groups costing no more than a buck towards the rent for the church basement and the pound of coffee.

I would say that you have been told bullshit quite honestly.
People who claim they cannot get theraphy here, or that they don't have a self help group to go to are either lazy or placing the blame elsewhere instead of getting off their bottoms, quite frankly. You can get it on the NHS and privately is even easier. Self help groups you rarely pay for, especially if you get referred by a charitable agency or medical practitioner.

As for the op - I have never come across any negativity in BDSM circles for Daddy Dominants, although I would suggest there are probably less than say - in the US - it just doesn't seem to be a big theme here in hetrosexual circles - moreso in the gay community. On the whole, though, I would suggest that any kind of Ds relationship is harder to maintain in BDSM circles in the UK - I have often heard couples complaining they feel alienated more than the fetishists or SM crowd, so maybe it's not so much a Daddy dom problem, but a Ds couple one.

the.dark.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 9:08:02 AM

OldBastardly1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Since people with higher incomes are more able to indulge desires in BDSM, because outfits, toys and clubs are not cheap, we're the same people who are more likely to spend discretionary income on getting personal insights. .

LMFHAO

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 9:26:33 AM

breatheasone

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My Master/Daddy and I are just now learning and exploring this dynamic....From what I have gathered about what makes a "Daddy" it describes my Master/Daddy beautifully. I absolutely love how much He and I have grown into each other.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 9:28:13 AM

Dnomyar

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So basicly you dont know shit but do know everything.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 9:32:13 AM

breatheasone

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HUH?? me??...when did I say I knew shit or knew everything???

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 9:44:16 AM

byknkf

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Had my first Daddy dom at age of 16 he was 40's and since then have beened owned by only men and couples 45yrs and above have no desire to be sub to anyone my own age group

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 9:50:38 AM

astarri

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well age doesnt really mean much in the whole "Daddy Dom" ownership though i suppose it could. I dont in the UK though i had not noticed that from the people i have spoken with from over there.

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RE: Daddy Dom's - 12/6/2007 11:45:30 AM

OldBastardly1

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breathasone, I am just guessing, but I think he was referring to your tagline/signature. I am also guessing it was meant to be humorous.

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