geography sucks

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

geography sucks

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> geography sucks

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:07:54 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

For those who are single and seeking, do you ever find that the nicest and most seemingly compatible and intriguing people seem to invariably live very far away?

This seems to be the norm for me. Just tonight, I have been chatting with this dreamy (yes, Ms. Cynical said, dreamy) smart, well written, seemingly normal handsome nice guy with alot in common.

The catch? He lives in Texas while I am in NJ. And the weird thing is, alot of great guys from Texas write me as well as other places, just not from NJ or NYC.

Does anyone find this equally frustrating? And yes, I know, some will say relocation can work, but sometimes circumstances do not allow that, and I guess I am a woman who likes the proximity of knowing I can get to know someone close by.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/2/2007 10:11:39 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:25:44 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I agree, many of the men I have been attracted to don't even live in this country!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 2

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:28:30 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Well out of the country, I don't even consider. But when they write from CA or TX or IN and I am here in snowy NJ, it pisses me off. Especially when people say, oh you are so lucky to be near the Big Apple, there are tons of men there.

Yeah, but not great ones.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 3

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:31:15 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I have talked to more than one woman that said she needed to import someone.
lol
You can always import them from Texas.
I am at the point, I am just waiting for a life like robot.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 4

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:37:48 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I have talked to more than one woman that said she needed to import someone.
lol
You can always import them from Texas.
I am at the point, I am just waiting for a life like robot.

LOL. I hear you..there was this Twilight Zone episode where they had such life like robots that people fell madly in love with them...and then they broke.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 5

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:39:53 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

If they don't already live in another state, they are getting ready to move. Here are my two most recent experiences. One guy only lived a half hour from me, but he got a great job offer in another state so I never had a chance to meet him. My latest interest is a law school graduate. He lives in my state, but not for long. Apparently, there are no opportunities here for new law school graduates. Kansas sucks and I'm stuck here for at least another 2 1/2 years until I finish college.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 6

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:40:58 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

As a teen, I had just as many Internet relationships as real life ones. It's just so much easier to find girls who are a bit more.. well, sentient?.. when not confined to having to select from your middle school's population. It was easier to find a decent girl when I started dual enrolling when I was in highschool, but, meh. I've never really felt my age.

Not that I always dated older.. I tended to perfer girls not more than five years older.. but more analytical minds seem to have a great affinity for the net. They conjugated*, looking for eachother. At least, some of them did; I'm rather sure others were likely content without peers.

Honestly, right now, I look at most people below fourty as children, even though some of those individuals are literally over twice my age.

Ah wells. And this is why I love post-Ph.D.'s- you get to talk to so many brighter minds and get a stipend for it. :D Too bad being a professor doesn't pay much. =/

And this is the part where I realize I'm too tired and I'm ranting, making myself look like an egotistical asshole. Meh. Go me!

---

If one pardons my tendancy to rant in this mindset, I suppose my contribution would be that, yes, I certainly agree that distance can suck, and relate to the notion of finding more sutiable partners in the larger accessible population granted by the Internet.

*This isn't a typo. It's an old, inside-ish joke.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 12/2/2007 10:42:01 PM >

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 7

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:42:07 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I empathize...the thing that gets me is that I wonder if I lived somewhere else, far from here, would I be with the ONE I have been trying to meet HERE?

Who knows, right? It is one of those life questions that can plague you when you are alone on a snowy and cold night.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 8

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 10:45:24 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

As a teen, I had just as many Internet relationships as real life ones. It's just so much easier to find girls who are a bit more.. well, sentient?.. when not confined to having to select from your middle school's population. It was easier to find a decent girl when I started dual enrolling when I was in highschool, but, meh. I've never really felt my age.

Not that I always dated older.. I tended to perfer girls not more than five years older.. but more analytical minds seem to have a great affinity for the net. They conjugated*, looking for eachother. At least, some of them did; I'm rather sure others were likely content without peers.

Honestly, right now, I look at most people below fourty as children, even though some of those individuals are literally over twice my age.

Ah wells. And this is why I love post-Ph.D.'s- you get to talk to so many brighter minds and get a stipend for it. :D Too bad being a professor doesn't pay much. =/

And this is the part where I realize I'm too tired and I'm ranting, making myself look like an egotistical asshole. Meh. Go me!

---

If one pardons my tendancy to rant in this mindset, I suppose my contribution would be that, yes, I certainly agree that distance can suck, and relate to the notion of finding more sutiable partners in the larger accessible population granted by the Internet.

*This isn't a typo. It's an old, inside-ish joke.

I understand what you are saying about finding suitable partners in a larger accesible pool online, but for me, that is precisely the problem; those suitable potentials are the ones too far away for it to make sense. You can only chat online and talk on the phone for so long, you need to actually be together with someone in order to detect chemistry and find compatibility, it takes proximity.

I do know that others have started relationships that were successful online, but I have not had that happen. My relationships were all from meeting in person.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 9

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 11:24:27 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

For me, I have absolutely no idea where I'll be living after college, besides the idea that it'll probably be somewhere in the contential US. Also, I'm looking for a lifelong relationship, not a temporary one. So, by my reasoning, if it's long distance, that's only a disadvantage until her and I graduate. After that, we can live together.

I guess having a LD LTR's easier when your "Relocation?" option is double checked as, "Definately". :P

Not that those relationships always worked out, but I was fond of a few of them, when they happened. The endings tended to be a little more trecherous than real life relationships, though.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 10

RE: geography sucks - 12/2/2007 11:44:00 PM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

What a freaking good topic. I wish I had started it!!!!!

Geography has dominated so much of my life. Taking various jobs on the basis of staying close to my ex's family. I don't want to turn this into a bitch session, but I turned down a lot of great job opportunities for a woman who ultimately gave me total disrespect.

Now I'm trying to find a way to earn a living while staying close to my UM. I have no problems with doing that as he shows great appreciation for it.

I currently have a delightful friend who is a 3.5 hour drive away. We both want a relationship, but the distance adds such an incredible level of difficulty. I have no good answers here.....only more confusion.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 11

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 2:41:34 AM

ShellyD

Posts: 207
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

I too, belong to the geographically challenged. I get offers from men who live in the closest big city 3 hours away. It may not seem far to some but it certainly puts a restraint on developing a closeness to someone. As for men close by, I am yet to find someone experienced, the number of requests to 'teach' BDSM is very annoying, I have made suggestions of where to start researching, unfortunately they want it all wrapped up and presented in toto. For some reason

I move on, always seeking, yet to find.

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 12

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 7:55:19 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Nods. At least 3 hours for a drive is somewhat doable. But other states that would take days drive or a plane ride, not so much. That is what makes it all soooooo frustrating, especially when some of these guys sound so great.

Also, when you get a one line email that says, Wow, you are amazing, too bad you are so far away, what can you really reply to that?

(in reply to ShellyD)

Post #: 13

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 11:04:50 AM

philosophy

Posts: 5284
Joined: 2/15/2004
Status: offline

.....my Mistress was in Canada, i was in Wales.....we meet via collarme......and now we're both in Canada and married......geography certainly sucks, but transport rules

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 14

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 11:23:47 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Hell yeah...geography sucks!!! I'm in Louisiana and Mistress is in West Virginia. I agree...geography sucks, but transport rules!!!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to philosophy)

Post #: 15

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 11:24:35 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

I strongly suggest two things.

1) Attend your local munches, play parties, etc. The local scene might not be for you, but the 'dreamy' Dom you'd normally want to meet, is probably attending them as well, for the same reason; that he'd rather meet someone close by, even if he doesn't dig the local BDSM scene either.

I liken it to me going to a bar once a week to meet a girl; obviously most of the girls I meet aren't going to be to my taste, but if I casually meet 100 girls, at least one of them will probably be compatible.

2) Turn off your profile, and start doing the work yourself. Do searches on local dominants, and write them first. Stop wading through a dozen emails from far away men and far away places, and focus only on men who are nearby. Write them a polite introductory letter with a couple of clear, recent photos, and be prepared for lots of rejection (and a good handful of promising results.) Most women on this site write up a profile, and just wait for mail; it's a lovely stroke of the ego, but hardly the most effective means of finding a potential partner online.

Good luck

Stephan

< Message edited by Stephann -- 12/3/2007 11:49:59 AM >

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to philosophy)

Post #: 16

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 11:31:35 AM

LadyChef

Posts: 105
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for the advice Stephann. I will take Your opinion as sound advice.

< Message edited by LadyChef -- 12/3/2007 11:33:30 AM >

_____________________________

You reap what you sow

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 17

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 11:47:33 AM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I have talked to more than one woman that said she needed to import someone.
lol
You can always import them from Texas.
I am at the point, I am just waiting for a life like robot.

My girl lives in Texas. We're working on her 'import' to Canada even now.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 18

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 12:04:07 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

wow- yeah- I am in Pennsylvania- and my 1st choice- [tho no one from cm] is in Oklahoma. Would anyone really get wiht the neighbor? the co-worker?

who in their right mind is going to give up a house job and friends to traipse cross country to take a chance? the type that would- most would be people with nothing to lose.

(in reply to Lumus)

Post #: 19

RE: geography sucks - 12/3/2007 12:14:28 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

wow- yeah- I am in Pennsylvania- and my 1st choice- [tho no one from cm] is in Oklahoma. Would anyone really get wiht the neighbor? the co-worker?

who in their right mind is going to give up a house job and friends to traipse cross country to take a chance? the type that would- most would be people with nothing to lose.

Or everything to gain.

Dinnae fall into the cynicism trap, laddie.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> geography sucks

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.156