quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55
It's hard to imagine doing all of that with someone who didn't enjoy it in any way.  Even that was enjoying not enjoying it. But that is me.   I want us both to enjoy it.  And the reality is, it is rare that I'll hurt someone, I hope we'd both find it special.  If not, I would really consider whether we were well-matched.  There is a lot of overlap hopefully between what I enjoy and what he enjoys.  More than enough to have a grand time.  And then there are the headgames, assuming that floats his boat as much as it floats mine.

There is no right or wrong.  There are two people, two viewpoints, two different perceptions.  That's life.  How do you manage when you differ, not those are the relationship skills I really look for.

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ORIGINAL: eyesopened

my relationship with my first Dominant was not a romantic one, and i'm not clear as to the dynamic of the couple depicted.  In my case, i was not looking to be 'special' but i still needed positive feedback that i had done well, had been pleasing to my Dominant.  my need in the relationship was to learn and grow in service and submission.  As long as i could go home knowing that i had accomplished something, learned something, gained a greater insight, then the evening was a success.  One of the best lessons He ever taught me was to change my focus from me and what i could do to just being pleasing and what does He need, want, desire. 

After a time, there were no more lessons.  He used me for His delight but i was not learning or growing, the times together were predictible, stale and without challenge.  When we discussed this, He told me He had taken me as far as i could go.  What i clearly heard was "I've taken you as far as I care to take you."  Since i had not signed on for the long haul, it was time to go and i did.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I do not know what to say, because the play is just an extension of my feelings for my Daddy. I know it is hard to remain focused on topping me for that many hours of play, and I would be grateful for the time he spent... even if I did not experience the sensations that I had hoped to. The bottom masochist part of me does get sated, but the submissive part of me does not expect that to happen all the time.

I think that the expectations may be misaligned perhaps?

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ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

This could be one of 2 things in my opinion.
 
1.  How many people don't ask for all that they want?  How many people assume that certain things don't have to be asked for? 
 
A sub says "I want to serve you, clean your house, take care of all of your needs, be objectified, locked in a cage, tortured, denied food and water, teased and denied orgasm and all for your pleasure."  But means, I want to do all of these things but you really have to be paying some attention to me, following me around with your crop and spanking me when I don't do things right, objectify me but, treat me like a person while you do it, lock me in a cage and torture me, but make sure that I'm comfortable, tease me and deny me orgasm until I really want to cum, and once you have done all of this, I would like you to forget about any of your own needs and wants and ask me what would make this special for me.
 
2. Some people just don't care about their partner, in which case they won't have one for very long.

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ORIGINAL: LaMspeach


I had to learn to serve because it was part of my submission to him not because I was looking for special or hoping for something in return. When we as submissives/slaves do something in order to get something we are often let down because we don't get what we hoped for.
He allowed her to torture him in hopes for "special" (whatever that was) and was let down  because he didn’t get the reward he wanted.  In my eyes the rewards was being allowed to cuddle and watch a movie with her while massaging her legs and feet.

Maybe she is trying to teach him to learn the pleasure of serving with out wanting a reward in return.

Also agree with Lena, we cant give and give and never be made to feel special or receive that reward because after  awhile the well will run dry and we will have nothing let to give.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Well I can elaborate and say a lot of what you described is what happened to me on a weekend of service I had.  And yes, it was everything a service sub could have dreamed- wearing uncomfortable clothes, even being played with new toys and methods, a whole weekend just there to provide.

But from the time we left the airport together, with him knowing I'd just been on a 9 hour journey and not checking once to see if I needed food or water, till the end of the journey where he fell asleep on the couch watching a movie- it really was not fun for me.

I don't even blame him in a lot of ways- I could sincerely tell through the weekend that he MEANT things to go well and that honestly he was having a total blast.  We had been friends for a long time, we'd been talking for weeks about what to expect, and he never went against anything and in many ways was a good host.

But as awesome as he says it was for him, it really wasn't special at all.  I felt drained, sad, and unsure about the future of our friendship as I left. 

If that type of service doesn't directly make the sub "click" then there needs to be some indirect specialness to it so that the sub can still feel good about the experience.  Whether the master provides the specialness, directly or indirectly, is up to the relationship.  But if it's not there in SOME way, then it's not working.

I understand how for YOU that would seem totally awesome.  I even understand how you would have every intention of that being awesome for HIM and totally confused why it wasn't.  But the fact still remains- it didn't work for him at all.

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
If you ask me, sounds like the male sub/slave did not understand when he was being punished and for what specific reasons.   Sounds like a communication issue for starters, hence why there are do different versions of the story.

I have always made it a point to clearly express myself, and my reasons for doing something, what was wrong, and how the other person can correct/fix things.  

So, there appears to communication problem if you ask me.

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I doubt in the OP that the dominant was uncaring, there suggests a romantic involvement and the overall tone of the scene is that the submissive wasn't meant to enjoy their day, so that suggests a form of punishment.