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CreativeDominant -> RE: LDR, How to cope (11/29/2007 3:19:18 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: igobacktoblack
Im currently involved with a dominant man who could possibly be everything I could ever want in a man. We share a very similar sense of humor, we share interests, we can talk for hours about nothing and everything and make each other smile and laugh - but we are hitting rocky waters.
I live in Texas, he lives several states away, and at best we could see each other once a month till he finishes school. Every day it gets harder and I find myself getting more depressed because I want to be able to touch him, and be with him, be there for him in everything, and I do the best I can but sometimes its just not enough. Sexually we talk on the phone a lot in between and sometimes it helps but as Im sure you all know its just not the connection most of us are looking for. I worry because of our ages (we're both 23) that in the end its just going to prove too hard. I know a lot of you are going to say "well, if you love each other blah blah blah" but I worry regardless. My love for him is endless and I feel like he feels the same, but in the end he is a 23 year old guy in college and Im a single mom waiting to move forward with my life.
Im not sure how to think or proceed, I feel like Im predicting a bitter end too soon, but I just am not sure how to deal with this void in my heart. Anyone dealing with anything similar?
I have been in three long distance relationships. I've discussed them on here before. My last LDR left me in such a state that I have been very cautious in dealing with people. Yes, it is difficult. Yes, it gets damnnnnnnnnn lonely sometimes. Yes, I would prefer that I could find a submissive who lives in my state...hell, preferably my hometown.
But...the LDR that tore me up was due to her lies and deceit and my own inability to see past the good in her and my unwillingness to uproot my practice and move across country (and I do mean across country) and start over again.
But...difficulties can be found in any relationship. Sometimes, closeness results in its own difficulties. Is closeness better than distance? Of course it is. But sometimes, things that are not discussed because "being together" gets in the way do get discussed when you have only communication with each other as a way of staying in touch.
But...loneliness can be eased by having friends and family and other things in your life. Is it negated by those things? No...but let's be honest, sometimes you can be lonely when the one you love is right there. Not being alone does not equate to not being lonely. It is better than being alone but there again, having someone...even someone long distance...that you are working things through with and exploring with and, hopefully, coming to a deeper understanding and craving for all the time is better than being completely alone.
But...the fact is that I live in a small town. A town where many who do not already know of my penchant for perversion would be shocked to find it out and would possibly turn away from me in a professional manner. Sooooooooo...as you can imagine, dating a vanilla woman here and "turning" her (as discussed in another thread) could backfire in a reallllllllllllly bad way for me. The nearest city to me where there is any D/s or BDSM action going on and where I have found submissives is 80 miles away. Oddly enough, many of those submissives state that they do not want to leave a big city for a small town, even for a guy like me. And, in fact, if I were to become involved with them...and have with a couple on a semi-casual/semi-serious basis...they were still, in reality, long distance.
Working towards something good...as well as attainable...is work whether it is with someone right in the same town or miles away. It depends on what the two (or more) of you decide you want and how bad you want to work towards having that with each other.
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