Stephann
Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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ORIGINAL: hands0n0knees
That's an illuminating contribution, Stephan.
I am intrigued by your comfort with dysfunctional psychologies made so by politically/historically factors.
Interesting way to put it; yeah, I suppose I am.
Perhaps it's because my education has stressed a 'political correctness', but I do feel a slight inclination of an eyebrow or two at the scene you depict with your black sub. It's the same issue that I had with the domme trying to enslave me with stories of high-powered career women: it's essentially a confirmation of something repeatedly claimed to be the most ghastly distortion of truth in our history, that there are sexes/races that are inferior to others. This isn't uncomfortable if it is entirely a fantasy; but, if you are introducing real elements of her life into her submission, in what sense is it still a game? Of course, I appreciate that it's a game for you, as you don't really believe the things you're saying, but how for her?
I would suggest if someone's ultimate aim was either to damage her, or self-gratification without regard for her well-being, I'd feel the same as you do. In fact, what I was intending was not entirely dissimilar to how I've handled a woman who had been viciously raped, and was torn between powerful rape fantasies, and a serious case of self-loathing for the incident. I'll use the rape example, because the factors are a little more clear.
I believe there is therapeutic value in engaging in 'play rape' with a woman who has been traumatized by a rape (when it's something she's actively desiring mind you.) I think the concept is that it allows the feelings of guilt, humiliation, and shame to be expressed in a safe environment; certainly her original attacker didn't hang around for her to have a bonding moment to discuss how she felt about the event. It allows her to do the struggling that she couldn't do then for fear of her life, and to become empowered by the opportunity to look the beast in the eye, and say "I lived through this, and I am stronger than you are." This may seem a bit like using poison as an antidote, but I know that when I've engaged in such activities, much of the play rape fantasies have subsided and the issue no longer seemed to haunt her. I know in her case, she continued to enjoy rough sex as a submissive, but I think part of the value was she no longer felt threatened or ashamed of that incident.
As this applies to race dynamics, is that it allows for the expression of rage, frustration, and humiliation that is rarely possible when racism is expressed. I've been denied service at shops because I was white, when living in Chile, yet hardly to the degree of racism that I suspect many others have faced. A black client denied service at a restaurant (for example) isn't always in a position to vent that anger and rage at the manager. These little things, taken individually, are a drop in the bucket. It's the collective, day to day experiences that build up over time that I think gels into racial angst; expressing it through a fetish type activity, I think, serves as a release valve for that pressure, and allows the person involved to face it in a safe, controlled situation. The humiliation is released, and the person is better able to embrace themselves better.
I think this can be retroactive too; some white men express this in erotic literature through cuckholding fantasies, often with their pretty white wives being made into willing sex slaves for bigger, stronger black men. It's a double shot; the average middle-aged white man with a decent job and beautiful wife feels like he's repressing not only his wife (and her entire sex) by forcing her into sexually inhibited and unsatisfying relationship, but also being aware that he feels responsible for repressing blacks as a whole (or, on the flip side, seeing the black lover as the ultimate symbol of his degradation; there's obviously more than a few psychological factors that could motivate someone.) How's that for finding sexism sexy?
I think there is a significant difference between those who have these fetishes and those with more (let's say) Freudian ones. Having submissive tendencies after being abused as child is objectionable, but there is no factual link between those two events to guarantee their relationship.
I disagree. Our dominant or submissive orientation stems from somewhere (nature vs/ nurture argument; I embrace both views myself.) That it stems from an unhealthy or abusive childhood doesn't necessarily mean expressing and embracing submission (or dominance) as an adult must be unhealthy, unhappy, or objectionable. It is safe to say there's no hard evidence either way in this field, and our entire conversation is little better than armchair psychology in the first place 
There is no doubting the historical/political reality of sex and race as giant, sprawling factors in every element of our existence. I'm not sure how the dommes I talk to can limit themselves to the imaginative with this particular fetish.
Nothing imaginary about it; some people will feel compelled for it, some people won't. I'm sure sex with mailboxes derives from some specific psychological conditioning of some sort. Looking at the system as a whole will demonstrate trends, yet looking at individuals with a system show the complexities of different factors make it impossible (at least right now with our limited understanding of psychology and brain chemistry) to understand how those systems really do impact us.
Regards,
Stephan
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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer
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