|
Iunderstand -> Men are From Mars Women are from Venus (11/26/2007 9:33:50 AM)
|
WE ARE HAVING A BIG PROBLEM HERE!
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus!
(John Gray you're the man and I am not trying to steal your material but instead give it praise and use the title because it's something people remember. Plus I see the exact same forms of miscommunication here.)
We have been having alot of trouble finding people to hook up with, there is a reason for that. Because men and women are different. So inspired by the teachings of John, why don't we clear things up...
Masculine point of view- the idea here is that the dominating person is aggressive towards the submissive. They more or less challenge the submissive to a battle of power (that is over right after it starts) and the loser of course becomes the winner’s slave. What with swords? No, not in modern times, but with intimidation mostly. Maybe if it ever came down to it some wrestling like raw force would be applied at the most. It would be just enough to prove their physical strength and what they could do if they wanted to. However none of that is necessary. This power exchange happens quick. Since the idea is that there is no contest, the submissive…submits. The dominant walks in and takes what they want triggering the submissive into instant subspace. Think of an army invading a country. They are people invading other people. This very act (and the ability to perform it) is what gives them the right to call themselves dominant powerful people. You can't be a conqueror if you don’t actually conquer something, just as you are not a painter if you don’t paint. Having the title of dominant without ever actually dominating anyone makes you a liar and a fraud. So by showing off their ability, the dominant identifies themselves to the submissive as the real thing. The submissive then sees this real, in your face proof, and snaps into the subspace of the dominant. That demonstration, that proof of real strength, is all the submissive needs to know. (with the exception of modern safety related knowledge) If the submissive gets to know to much about the dominant, they can seem to be more like friends and therefore equals. (which of course is a boring vanilla relationship) However, the dominant should know everything about the submissive because knowledge is power. As the relationship progresses, if the submissive is making to many request, that means that the dominant needs to poor on and overdose of power to remind them of their place. Once this happens the relationship is set. To the masculine mind, this is the truest form of this practice and the only way it can be real.
Feminine point of view – the idea here is that independence and non-neediness is a symbol of strength and dominant power. The dominant treads steady through life on a relaxed course not needing anyone. Which is the opposite of the insecure submissive who feels incomplete and unsafe without someone strong to be around. The dominant suffers no emotion pain long term, and has no knowledge of shadowy insecurities. They are like shooting stars on their way to greatness and don’t need a partner to feel complete. However, if a submissive wants to hitch a ride under their wing, they don’t mind at all…Especially if the sub is useful to them. Of course the sub must know who is boss, right? After all, it’s the sub who needs them, who came to them from the start…not the other way around. The sub must obey or lose the privilege of riding through life under the powerful dominants wing. When the Dominant and sub meet it is the sub who is drawn to the dominant’s powerful personality. They read in the dominants behavior (including their body language in person) that this is someone independent, powerful, strong, the one they have been looking for. The sub then wants to absorb everything there is to know about this person. The more the submissive gets to know, the more the dominant becomes the center of their world. When this happens the dominant rules their world completely. The sub will give them anything and wants to open up to their ruler completely. Only by making this strong connection can the sub truly, really, submit.
So here is the problem…
A typical sub male is looking is for a Mistress. He has made it known that he is submissive on his profile (for an example) and waits to be conquered by a powerful active force. Nothing happens. So after a while a little depressed that no one wants him, he attempts to throw himself into the traffic thinking maybe he is just not getting noticed. When he approaches them, he is looking just to get noticed, then he will wait for the Mistress to attack him and put him in his place. This never happens. Instead of finding a woman who demonstrates her power and motivates him to obey…he finds a note. She and her influence are no where to be found. Instead there is just a note like something you would leave on your fridge. As he sees it, he interprets it like this…
This person barely even cares to put forth an effort at this practice. Why is she not here ripping into us? Why is she not grabbing us up like candy? We are right here in front of her for the taking! What kind of dominant is this when they do not even show up, they just leave behind “sorry I couldn’t make it” instructions and go on to other things. Is she not motivated? Where is her active force? I am supposed to be submitting to…what? Some text? Why would I do that? Should I just walk around town all day submitting to whatever I read? Where is the dominant force that I am to obey? I can’t submit to nothingness, I need to submit to a true dominant who’s influence I can feel, and that feeling will motivate me. Anyone can write a letter, she could be a total fraud. Either this person is not really a dominant, or she just cares so little about this (me) that she doesn’t even focus on it.
He cannot submit when there is no active force to submit too. Therefore he ignores her instructions and sends a quick message like “Hey are you there?” He is hoping to get her dominant attention turned to him.
Maybe she will send him a harsh irritated response that demonstrates her power and control over him. Then he can be motivated to obey, he just had to know who he was obeying, and he had to be forced by her active force, not asked by a note. Instead though, he gets nothing. He now knows that this person just doesn’t like him. She never did from the start. That’s why the note, that’s why no reply. She is busy with better looking bigger penis having men. That’s why she had no interest in him. He is to short, or to tall etc…In fact no one has responded so far. Now there are a lot of “no men” profiles around. For some reason he is just not wanted. So nothing happens.
A typical dominant female is looking for a submissive male. She knows she has to be a powerful independent person. It is them that are going to latch on to her. This is something she can do. She loves the idea of having men hang around her and adore her endlessly. She will be treated like a prom queen ever day. This is perfect. She sets up her profile reflecting that she is mildly interested but does not need anyone. She is beautiful, powerful, independent and loving her life. She is busy, and barely has enough time for anyone. Just to further prove how powerful and independent she is, she sets up a filter system to get rid of anyone who doesn’t make the cut. She knows that it goes without saying that a powerful dominant such as herself should always be the opposite of desperate for companionship. So she creates an obstacle course just to push away even more of the non-deserving people. After all, why not? She doesn’t need them they need her. So now she has a complete arrangement with her sexy powerful pictures as the crown jewel. She has setup her obstacle course of instructions and waits to see who all she attracts. Instead many men ignore what she wrote and continue to message her with one line messages. She gets more and more upset thinking…
Can’t they read? Either these submissive men are stupid or they just don’t have any respect for me and are not true subs. I should not be putting up with this, a true dominant should not get their hands dirty with this. They are lucky to have my time. I am standing here making a fool out of myself allowing this nonsense when rightfully I should not even be here. I can’t believe I go out of my way to set everything up for them and they act like this! What kind of submissive men are these when they refuse to follow simple instructions? What are they thinking? They are basically saying I am a joke and they have no desire to be mine. Now that I have gone out of my way to set all this up, and they mocked me…It’s twice the insult. I should just be done with this whole thing.
After a while she adds to her profile these frustrations repelling pushing away more even more men who have insulted her. She knows that she has to respond to this insult like a true dominant should. She should not let them bother her, she needs nothing from them anyway, they are beneath her. After a while she continues to get either no response or the wrong ones mostly. She wants to think that the place is just full of fools, put a part of her wonders if it’s her. Maybe she is just not good enough. She doesn’t know why…but if it’s not true, why the bad results? Either way, nothing happens.
Now just imagine the fun that can happen when you put these two together. Not to mention all the fake profiles you find and other problems too. Now let’s take a look at the other side of the coin.
A typical dominant male looking for a submissive female. He knows he can dominate, that’s easy. He just never knew about this whole world. This is amazing, a whole world filled with women who want to be sex slaves! He has struck gold! He knows what he must do. He must prepare himself for the upcoming battle. Not only does he have to demonstrate power to impress and over come these women, he might have to deal with competing dominants. Oh well, may the best man win, no hard feelings. So the time comes for him to approach his first sub. It’s game on. He does his best to summon all his strength and prepare for the war that is to come. He becomes an invading active force ready to conquer. He contacts her trying to push as much force as he can (which isn’t much over the internet) showing that he is a dominant force to be reckoned with. He moves in and tries to take control, making demands, and talking down to her putting her in her place. He knows that this is a key moment. Either she will not be impressed because he is not strong enough, or he will snap her into subspace and win her over. After contacting the sub in this way, He get’s an angry domineering letter back. To which he thinks is either a continuation of the battle (she is not impressed with the strength of his will and is testing him) and he is supposed to come back even stronger…Or she is just a fake and not a true submissive. Either way his response will be a mean and domineering one. By this time he is being ignored. What did he do wrong? Did he hurt her feelings somehow? When? It’s not as though he insulted her, or bruised her ego or anything like that, he was careful not to say anything specific while putting her in her place. Does he half to be even stronger than that? Maybe he is just not cut out for his after all, what the hell does she want him to do drive down there and knock her out or something? Would that be strong enough? He has no idea. Either it will go down like that, or she will ignore him after the first contact. She will just post a note that says she does not want to talk to men like him. Or men at all. This will once again make him think that there is something wrong with him. Maybe the women want even meaner more sadistic guys. Or maybe he is not tall enough, muscular enough. Whatever the case no one hooks up and nothing happens.
A typical sub female is looking for a dominant male. So she sets up her profile and poses in all her cute sexy outfits, she wants to please him already. She can’t wait to meet him. She is more than ready and eager to start the process of them getting to know each other. She’ll love every second of it. She’ll love the conversations with him, watching closely his facial expressions and getting more and more into him. He will radiate strength and independence without even trying, and she will soak it up like a sponge getting more and more turned on. She hopes that he is funny, and interesting, and that he will pick her up take her with him to his world. Maybe in that world things will get a little freaky. Or maybe a lot! She can’t wait!
So she even goes as far as to start things off. She sets up her profile telling a little about herself, opening the conversation and making the first move. Then out of the blue she gets a 100 letters from men saying nothing about themselves but instead each one commanding her to be their slaves right now over the internet. In fact they are not even having a conversation, they are just barking like dogs. She hates to see this because she was hoping to be able to admire and respect these guys. Now, already they are acting like idiots. They have no idea who she is, where she is from, if they would work out, yet they are doing this…Emailing her with some rude onslaught where is this going to go? They are extremely rude to her as if to show dissatisfaction with her and she hasn’t even started the relationship that she’d have to be in to misbehave towards anyone! So when she tells them that they are clearly crazy and to please stop emailing her telling what to do from the start...They don’t listen and keep on full force! She even post it on her profile. She wonders what they are thinking? So she thinks that there is a guy out there for her, just not them. Or at least she hopes there is. Some of these girls are bi-sexual. After that experience, they put up NO MEN signs and just look for women. So as far hooking up with a male dominant goes, nothing happens…
Ok once again we see a problem with bad communication. What should we do? How can we fix this mess? I don’t know wish John Gray would do a book about this. Anyway, without any logic, just off the top of my head. I feel, not think, but feel that it would work best if…
The Male Dominants took up the relaxed feminine style approach and just had nice conversations and flirted and charmed their way into control. They should learn to see that it is awesome to have someone serve you because they admire you. Not because you forced them. You just sit back and relax while your side kick who looks up to you does whatever you say. They need to get it out of their head that they have to show their power through action in the beginning. They don’t. They can just stand in the room all powerful and that is enough. By yelling and screaming they are really hurting their sensitive new friend…who is not a mirror imagine of them, and will not interpret what you are doing the same. Dominant men should only take aggressive action when there is a reason, such as someone has angered them. Or someone has done wrong and needs to be punished. If there is no reason, then you should just relax. Just skip that part eh? They still get the sub, just a different way to get them. I don’t think it would kill them?
The Female Dominants should take up the masculine style domination. Any man who labels himself submissive is theirs to command from the start. (if he is single). They should go out and grab these men, and get it out of their head that they are looking desperate if they do this. This aggressive action is desire fueled not desperation fueled. It’s about saying “Oh I want that!” not “I am lonely without that.” Email the men on their profiles, do not wait for them. Ride their asses all the time. Pick which ever one you want and tell him he is yours. Then just start telling him what he needs to do. As long as you keep that aggressive nature, you can have all the men you want adoring and pampering you. Yes it will be honest feelings too, they are not just faking it because you told them to. They do it because the more commanding you are, the more they really do adore you. So why not turn it up to 100% commanding? You can have these men treating you like a queen, If you are willing to take a different route to get there?
Ok for some reason that just seems like the right thing to do. The real answer is going to be way more complex. I've spent enough time on this though. I don’t know why it feels right for the dominants to change and not the subs. It just does, it just seems like that would make it work best. A little dominant criss/crossing. Ok I’m done.
|
|
|
|
