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Tired of missing out - 11/24/2007 10:14:30 PM

dawndewdropbaby

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/29/2005
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This is a problem that I know that others have had but I was looking for a bit of advice in hope to get a solution for my delima. My ability to achieve an orgasm during intercourse doesn't exist. I have never reached an orgasm with any of the partners that I have been with. In the past I didn't really mind, I was simply happy that I was pleasing my partners and it didn't bother me to not get anything in return. Over the past few years I feel I've been missing out and Im tired of doing that. I have found myself not really wanting to have sex due this. To make it clear, I have had orgasms, just not during intercourse depsite if I added extra stimulation or not. Any words of advice?

Post #: 1

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/24/2007 10:19:12 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings dawndewdropbaby,

are you capable of bringing yourself to orgasm during foreplay? i wouldn't worry so much about having an orgasm during intercourse specifically (as long as it's otherwise pleasurable), but for your partner to be able to give you an orgasm is important. i would recommend masturbating during foreplay while your partner is holding/talking to you/stimulating you, and then progress to him being the one doing the touching and him bringing you to orgasm. i am very big on foreplay as i had similar issues with orgasming during intercourse before i was with my current master (and some problems orgasming at all). so if that, or some other part of the process, is more pleasurable for you physically than intercourse, i would recommend just doing more of that and not stressing out about whether or not you are orgasming specifically during intercourse, as long as it's at least physically pleasurable.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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(in reply to dawndewdropbaby)

Post #: 2

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/24/2007 10:31:26 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Are you referring to not being able to orgasm from only penetration?

That's not uncommon for women, in fact, the opposite is probably more rare. You are only 19, I think you have plenty of time to work on this

.

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(in reply to dawndewdropbaby)

Post #: 3

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 2:01:17 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Explain this to your partners, then both work to get you off in whatever manner you DO orgasm. Believe me, this is very, very common.

Master Fire

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(in reply to dawndewdropbaby)

Post #: 4

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 5:37:29 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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Yep, consider yourself normal, you're in the vast majority, in spite of what you may have read in the novels or seen in the movies. I mean, think about it....if men only received stimulation to their balls during sex, they'd have trouble cumming, too!

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Post #: 5

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 6:37:06 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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It sounds like you have a classic case of where your G-Spot is a little too high for stimulation. There is a procedure where a gyno/plastic surgen can inject fluid above your G-Spot. Your G-Spot is forced to be lower and able to be stimulated more by the penis. Unfortantly, you'll have to go back every few months or so but it's worth looking into.

Anyways, I usually incorporate fore play and sex toys in my intiment moments before, during, and after. I belive that sex is like chines food. You don't leave untill you both get your cookies. One way or another, the two of us always get them. After the other person you done, ask them to use a toy on you.

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(in reply to dawndewdropbaby)

Post #: 6

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 9:10:19 AM

HaveRopeWillBind

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Joined: 7/15/2006
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I could be wrong about this but at your age I am guessing most of your partners have been men under 25. At that age males are more into getting themselves off than in getting off their partner, that's more like a bonus if it happens. You could try older partners. Men do mature less quickly than women in general and often it takes a few years for a guy to get the wisdom to think about the other person involved. Not in all cases of course, but in general. Or if you are averse to older, then spend some time discussing your problem and how it affects you with your partner at a time when you are not involved in an intimate moment. You both need to be in a calm mode for it to have any chance of sinking in and actually helping. In the heat of passion it will go right by the other person.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 7

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 10:18:14 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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I think you are lucky. You are not going to fall in "love" with some asshole that sticks you with a few kids and disappears.

I could make you cum until you don't know your name, without even unzipping my pants.

With your help I could learn to take you to different planet using my fingers and tongue, among a few other things. But this does not get me off. I mean it does in a way, seeing a girl in the throes of ecstacy, where I put her, is a thrill, but it is not the same as getting off.

If you fand a real Man, he will make sure you are satisfied. You will be happy to do him a favor and have sex, and you should be happy to do it considering the pleasure you experienced at his hands/tongue, whatever. But then he must be attentive to your needs first.

If you can get off by your own hand, you can get off by mine. If you don't get off on coitus, so be it, you're a special case. So what ?

A real Man sees to his Woman's needs. That's all you need.

I am 47 so to me you are a "tenderoni". That's our pet name for younguns. I would love nothing more than to put you into those thoes of ecstacy to the pint where I have to tie you up. To see you shudder, and that moan, not like the fake ones on a porno, I mean a real one. There is a difference.

It is not likely to happen though, I need to hook up on a more personal level. If we did, you would be satisfied, guaranteed. But I am an old fogie to you, over the hill almost.

Ok, now I am going on and on, us old folk do that from time to time. Suffice it to say you need a good Man. One who understands and responds to your needs. And then you respond to his needs. It sounds simple but............

Actually, my best advice at this time is to be happy that nature presented you with this challenge. You are unlikely to take the path of so many, like having five kids by the time you are thirty. You might just have a good life.

Without someone able to make you go OOOOOOOOOOO as Chris Rock put it, you might keep your head screwed on straight. If you want to hook up with me fine, you know how to click on my name over on the left there. But I am not right for you.

I am a sociopath, a fugitive and a deviant. Some fun would be OK, but there is not much future with me. My life is filled with corruption, I live my life outside the law. You are getting close to childbearing age. Think of this, if I had a kid now, I would be 65 when he/she graduated high school.

And let me state now that IMO you are too young to have kids. I think thirty is about the best time. When the kid is twenty you are fifty. I works out pretty good.

You will find a way to get off. Whether you can do it yourself or not, it's kinda nice if someone else does it. You want to take a 450 mile drive I can do it, but this is probably not what you want.

I mean I would do anything. I'll chain you up and get out the electrical probes if necessary. But there is someone else out there, someone who's carreer is beginning, not ending.

You have to think in terms of a timeline, the timeline of your life. You only get one. Right now to you it seems like you have forever, but you don't. Never forget that.

You build a life, it doesn't just come to you. Count yourself lucky right now, and find that prince charming.

Now I have to let it out, just how nuts I am. Wanna hook up ? Get me on the other side, but it will only be a fling. When prince charming does come along I will give you to him. I will admonish him that he better treat you right, or the wrath or the Terminator will be upon him.

Of course none of this is going to happen. But count yourself lucky. You have the opportuinity to think and reason, to fall into real love, and to build a carreer. And somewhere out there is a Man who can get you off. This you share, but at least for now you have a chance to step back and look at your options.

Do so.

T

(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)

Post #: 8

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 10:25:26 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
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I'm with the women on here. Quit worrying about it. As much as men would like to think so the penis is not the best tool for bringing a woman to orgasm. Combine that with the motions of intercourse that tend to interfere with the rhythm you need to stimulate yourself to orgasm during sex.

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 9

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 10:32:19 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

ok, I have NO idea what Termyn8or is going on about...yikes...but to the OP:

Do not worry about having an orgasm through intercourse alone; believe me. Just learn to have one any way you can. I can tell you the best orgasms I have ever had (and they are many) have never been from intercourse.

Just don't worry about it; that would inhibit any pleasure and short circuit cumming. My best advice is to learn to do it yourself first, if you do not already know how and use your fantasies always to trigger yourself. I literally told all my friends since I was 18 years old to get themselves vibrators and it was the best advice, all of them learned to have orgasms and were able to have them with their partners much more easily.

After a while, it becomes so easy, you will forget you ever placed this post!!! Good luck.

(in reply to sharainks)

Post #: 10

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 10:35:13 AM

m0rgan

Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

I'm with the women on here. Quit worrying about it. As much as men would like to think so the penis is not the best tool for bringing a woman to orgasm. Combine that with the motions of intercourse that tend to interfere with the rhythm you need to stimulate yourself to orgasm during sex.

that is mostly because you don't have one! i can assure you, madam, that if you did, it would be exactly the right thing to use!! if you want to wank, fine, but if you want to fuck or be fucked, it is exactly the tool designed for the job.
i should also point out that while most men have little idea what to do with vaginii, few women know what to do with a dick, we are just a little less discriminating or publicly critical at any attention that is paid to it, even a bad blow-job is better than none.

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Post #: 11

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 11:24:13 AM

Termyn8or

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Joined: 11/12/2005
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Red, I am talking about when a sexy, strapping young Man comes and fucks a young Woman and she falls for him, no matter how much of an asshole he is, it happens all the time. But it is unlikely to happen to the OP because of this condition.

Morgan, I agree. If you want to fuck there is basically no way to do it without a vagina AND a penis. But copulation is not the only form of sexual pleasure.

Basically what I was saying is that the OP is unlikely to fall to the stupid desires of youth. She may actually have time to think before acting. I think that is important.

T

(in reply to m0rgan)

Post #: 12

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 11:30:06 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Red, I am talking about when a sexy, strapping young Man comes and fucks a young Woman and she falls for him, no matter how much of an asshole he is, it happens all the time. But it is unlikely to happen to the OP because of this condition.

Morgan, I agree. If you want to fuck there is basically no way to do it without a vagina AND a penis. But copulation is not the only form of sexual pleasure.

Basically what I was saying is that the OP is unlikely to fall to the stupid desires of youth. She may actually have time to think before acting. I think that is important.

T

T,

Sexy men, young or old, can fuck any young or old woman, be an asshole and have those women fall for them anytime. This has happened since time began. And it happens whether or not the woman cums from fucking alone. BELIEVE me. So it can happen to the OP, despite her "condition" and I HATE when men call it that; it is not a "condition" it is very common to not cum from intercourse alone.

I agree not to fall for stupid desires, but we all fall prey to that no matter how old we are and whether or not you can orgasm through fucking alone is not the only reason that would happen. A guy can make you scream in ecstasy with other ways and still be the biggest jerk on the planet. BELIEVE me, LOL

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 13

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 11:55:19 AM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

I'm with the women on here. Quit worrying about it. As much as men would like to think so the penis is not the best tool for bringing a woman to orgasm. Combine that with the motions of intercourse that tend to interfere with the rhythm you need to stimulate yourself to orgasm during sex.

I'm with sharainks on this... a penis is NOT the best tool for bringing orgasm to women; a mouth is, and a tongue...or her own hands...or both at the same time.

One of the many reasons some women enjoy dominancy is because so many submissive men want to pleasure them...orally.

MsB

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(in reply to sharainks)

Post #: 14

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 12:24:22 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HaveRopeWillBind

I could be wrong about this but at your age I am guessing most of your partners have been men under 25. At that age males are more into getting themselves off than in getting off their partner, that's more like a bonus if it happens. You could try older partners. Men do mature less quickly than women in general and often it takes a few years for a guy to get the wisdom to think about the other person involved. Not in all cases of course, but in general. Or if you are averse to older, then spend some time discussing your problem and how it affects you with your partner at a time when you are not involved in an intimate moment. You both need to be in a calm mode for it to have any chance of sinking in and actually helping. In the heat of passion it will go right by the other person.

I just want to make sure this is not meant to be in reply to me.
Either way, age nor maturity of the other partner is the issue here.

If you ask me, Dawndewdropbaby should explore more sexual positions and fore play games with future partners. She's already caused herself to have orgasims so she knows the wear abouts of her G-Spot. So being on top more often should help an increase of chances for orgasim. It's not the guys fault and it's not her fault when torgasims don't occur. It's not up to one person doing all the work.

Dawn, sound advice I can give you is to think of you next partner as being a vibrator or sex toy. It may take a little guess work but find how you can put yourself and him where it all needs to be. You know how to give yourself an orgasim. So think of sex as giving yourself an orgasim with him. Ride and work him like you would a vibrator. As men, we thrust, tighten our penile muscles, and sqeeze our butt cheeks to aide in cumming during sex. As we do as we do, you should try doing what you need to do with your body movements. Orgasims don't happen at the snap of fingers. Sometimes, they need work of all partners invovled.

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(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)

Post #: 15

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 12:46:54 PM

Owner59

Posts: 17033
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Dirty Jersey
Status: offline

There`s no doubt you`ll find them,but not while you`re look`n.

Masturbating during intercourse is one way to get there.

How you mesh and "fit" with you lover is key.Try to engage your pelvic bone and "mound" with his.Tight,short,locked-in thrusts,will let you get some traction and build.Don`t be afraid to shift and move your body ,so that you get the stimulation you need.It may only be a slight tilt of your pelvis or how you hold your legs,that makes all the difference.

Another point,..not every guy knows how to fuck,let alone bring you off orally or manually.Especially young guys.Sorry boys....

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 16

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 2:47:52 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner59
Another point,..not every guy knows how to fuck,let alone bring you off orally or manually.Especially young guys.Sorry boys....

A nice lesbian couple educated me in the oral and manual department back in college. I never have allowed pride to get in the way of saying "I don't know but I'd like to learn."

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Post #: 17

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 3:42:46 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Well HELLS BELLS, I would drive 450 miles to see Term after that description!

I think I need a smoke and a cold drink now.

Ahem, back to the OP. I think you should try being on top, but that isn't enough. Lean forward with your hands on either side of his chest, on the bed. He should tip his hips up (or put a pillow under his butt). Slide your legs down on either side of his, and hook your feet around his legs for traction. If you're close in height, he can suck on your nipples.

The idea with this position is for you to grind your clit on his pubic bone. You're not going to bounce up and down (ala porn movies), you're going to slide forward and backwards.

Cali

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 18

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 4:11:49 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I literally told all my friends since I was 18 years old to get themselves vibrators and it was the best advice, all of them learned to have orgasms and were able to have them with their partners much more easily.

Vibrators and fingers don't always work on everyone either. Some women have to use other means, such as positioning themselves under a running faucet or rubbing against a pillow or other object. OP, you have my sympathy. I have the same problem you do. Most cocks are either straight or they curve up or down. Only one man was ever able to bring me to full orgasm from intercourse alone. The end of his cock hooked to the right, which is very uncommon.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 11/25/2007 4:14:19 PM >

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(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 19

RE: Tired of missing out - 11/25/2007 6:17:53 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Well, that all depends on the penis in question.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

I'm with the women on here. Quit worrying about it. As much as men would like to think so the penis is not the best tool for bringing a woman to orgasm. Combine that with the motions of intercourse that tend to interfere with the rhythm you need to stimulate yourself to orgasm during sex.

I'm with sharainks on this... a penis is NOT the best tool for bringing orgasm to women; a mouth is, and a tongue...or her own hands...or both at the same time.

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 20

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