RE: Value vs Status (Full Version)

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DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 1:02:40 PM)

To me the value AND status is Ying and Yang. 



amayos -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 1:18:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Sorry, but I disagree. For myself; I don't want to be of equal status or value, and I would not be happy with a person who saw me as such.



Hear, hear.



AquaticSub -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 1:22:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedShylah

The D/s and M/s relationship are not equal,  they are balenced, there is a diffrince.
 

Perhaps your brand of d/s and m/s does not allow for equality of value but others do.
quote:

If you want equal then don't do D/s or M/s (as we say here in Utah, "if you wanna be equal got get married i the Tempel")... I am not equal to my Mater in our relationship, I do not have any say in the desisions he makes; some times my input is asked for, but many times he chooses diffrently then I would have liked... the only real right I have is the right to leave at any time.

 
Valyraen makes his decisions and I obey them. That does make me lesser to him or diminish my value as a person or in the relationship. My status in this relationship is to obey, but my value is the same. Without me the relationship does not exist, exactly the same as without him the relationship does not exist.
 
To say other relationships are not valid d/s or m/s because they believe the two or more people are equal in value strikes me as very odd. Fortunately, those who do believe this do not need your blessing to be entirely blissful in their relationships.
quote:


I'd even go so far as to say that we are not equal in the BDSM community... he is respected for more because the donimant personality is very public and outward in it's expression. I may be respected by him for the things I do, but most people don't see what I do.

Not every dominant is very public and outward. Yours is. Maybe most or are you have encountered are. We have yet to encounter a real life situation where Valyraen was granted any sort of greater respect simply by virtue of him being my owner. The BDSM community varies greatly depending on where you are and what sort of BDSM community you want to belong to.
quote:


Yes, we are all equal as human beings, but e are not equal in the relationship.

Shylah


I believe that is the point. If it was just all equal the terms "value" and "status" would not have been used. We regard ourselves as equal though my status in the relationship is to obey.



TNstepsout -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 5:28:41 PM)

By inherent value, what I mean, is that both are human beings that in terms of their place in the world are equal. We are all sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, employee, employer etc.... We all have value in this world. One's worth in this world cannot be measured and cannot be placed in a heirarchy. You could argue that there are people of little worth. Those that have chosen to use their life to take from the world and use and abuse the people around them, but hopefully those aren't the type we'd be talking about being in a relationship with. So when I'm talking of equality, I'm speaking of the general worth of a decent human being.

IMO-just because I enter into a D/s relationship with another person it doesn't mean that somehow that the other person is now worth less than me. Even within the relationship. No way!

I think there are times that a sub might want to feel that s/he is less and sometimes that becomes part of the dynamic for taking the dynamic to another level. But I don't think in terms of "reality" that either is ever better, greater or of more value than the other.

I like how Aquatic phrased it and the quote she used. That's how I see it. Except when I saw the word "status" I was not thinking of it in terms of the role within the relationship, but status as in societal status.



chellekitty -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 5:38:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

By inherent value, what I mean, is that both are human beings that in terms of their place in the world are equal. We are all sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, employee, employer etc.... <snip>So when I'm talking of equality, I'm speaking of the general worth of a decent human being.

<snip>


with the word "decent" you are saying that people who are indecent or not decent are less valuable that others....so how can that value be inherent?



goodgirl08 -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 5:53:25 PM)

Value is difficult. I have a big problem with Doms thinking I have lower value as a human being than they do...or that I am less capable outside of the BDSM world. As a slave I can accept that I have a lot to learn and that I should/want to put my Master's needs above my own...still, it would bother me if he actually thought that my needs had less value as opposed to recognizing that I am choosing to put his first.



KnightofMists -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 7:08:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If you're looking for a quality that's inherent, "value" isn't your word.


We place varying value on the various inherent qualities of a person.  We come up with a subjective value that is often compared to some other reference point that we are familiar with.  We compare value of Person X with Person Y.... sometimes one of those is ourselves.  Sometimes we even compare a person to an tangible object... He is worth less than a bag of shit!!!!

In the end we do make valuations... being able to quantify those very subjective valuations are another matter all together.



TNstepsout -> RE: Value vs Status (11/15/2007 8:15:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

By inherent value, what I mean, is that both are human beings that in terms of their place in the world are equal. We are all sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, employee, employer etc.... <snip>So when I'm talking of equality, I'm speaking of the general worth of a decent human being.

<snip>


with the word "decent" you are saying that people who are indecent or not decent are less valuable that others....so how can that value be inherent?


All depends on what you mean by indecent. I'm not talking about being nekkid here. I think I explained it well enough in my post. You snipped the part that explained what I meant by "decent".



chellekitty -> RE: Value vs Status (11/16/2007 6:34:16 AM)

i'm not talking about being naked either....if a person is less valuable because of what they choose to do then that is not inherent...



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