RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (Full Version)

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dawntreader -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/10/2007 7:16:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Dominance to me in a Ds context is simply having authority.  Weak dominance would be not wanting or not using that authority effectively or perhaps even abusively.

Strong dominance would be wanting and using that authority in an effective and fulfilling way in the relationship.


Greetings KoM,
i love this thread topic and it is one i have spent considerable thought and discussion on. i feel LA has said it best in terms of brevity with her above quote. i also love the analolgy that SteelofUtah used with the "key". And i agree with ownedgirlie that it is not black and white. i also feel LaTigresse has hit the proverbial nail on the head about the strength in admiting "being human" faults and all as opposed to being a god. 



LotusSong -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/10/2007 7:26:39 PM)

Dominance:  the successful manipulation of a fantasy.



KnightofMists -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/10/2007 9:02:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

As I have grown older and matured and my skills as a dominant have grown, I have less need to control and gain more control by doing "less", a slight gesture, a subtle change in my voice, a glance does far more for me now than being a far more active and demanding dominant did for me when I was younger. 


When we first learn to walk... we put a tremendous amount of effort and focus on it at first.  But, as we get the hang of it... well we do it with alot more ease.  I agree with you.. that now as compared to then.. there is less need to control, focus and exert... I am not so sure it all about doing less... maybe we become more skilled at the task at hand in that we do less that we did before to achieve the same results.  And because I expend less efforts in doing things now that I did then.. well I have more energy to control, focus and exert on new skills/task that I am developing.  This to me makes me stronger than I was.



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/11/2007 1:34:00 AM)

We often change our views and behavior as our relationships change. At the start we feel aggressive, dominant actions are necessary. We follow obsessive, B/S pseudo-precision at all levels, although we don’t understand the meaning of precision. Looking back at things, I was damn near vomitatious as the Disney Channel when I used to exert my dominance.

As I learned that I was actually dominant over someone I didn’t have to continue to gaze on the Wizard of Oz and ignore the absolutes behind the curtain. I could be myself even while realizing some submissives were smarter than I was, knew more about D/s that I did, made more money than I did and knew how to handle life in general better than I did. 

The realization that I could be dominant over such a person without having to resort to the gimmicks and trappings of D/s led me from an alternate reality to real dominance and much more genuine bdsm play. If it didn’t come from something I felt and wanted to do, it wouldn’t work for long.



lateralist1 -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/11/2007 2:31:17 AM)

I see strong domination as the catalyst for change in others. Real change not superficial demonstrative change.
It doesn't need to be loud or demanding.
But it does in my opinion need to be caring and considered.
I gain satisfaction when I witness that change in anyone I am involved with.
I believe that strong submission comes from the heart not the head.
Accepting oneself knowng that we have deficiencies as human beings but not allowing those deficiencies to detract from our strengths and being willing to change them when we can is a sign of strength in both submissive people and dominant people.
I like the key and lock analogy. When the key unlocks the heart of the submission in another then I believe that is the start of a D/s relationship.



Cyntilating -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/11/2007 3:08:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Dominance comes in multitude of flavours.  But yet we will see some Dominance as weak and others as strong.  Very much like a Magnet.. there are weak magnets and strong ones... regardless of the adjective.. it's still a magnet...

So... When you view dominance... what shows week dominance to you and what shows strong dominance....

below is a quote that express my thoughts on the issue.

quote:

  
Weak Dominance... preys on the weakness of the Submissive

Strong Dominance.. inspires submission by the admirable Character of the Dominant..



So your thoughts?


KOM

when I think of "weakness" in a dominant>
I think of someone who relies on and controls through outward physical means and actions..
 
I liked your example : )
 
weak dominance :  uses ( needs)  alot of ways and actions to show his/her control over another.  Prefers outward displays of role and control.
 
strong dominance:  Inspires submission from another, with his/her self-control and confident authoritative nature. Mental bonds. 
 
There are weak dominants who I can submit to ( and have).
There are strong dominants who I cannot resist submitting to.
     ( their dominance is subtle but so apparent that it feels like a magnet to me, and my submission is drawn out)
 
for me, it is the difference between someone being my dominant and someone being my Master.
 
 
edited for spelling of a word.



LaTigresse -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/11/2007 6:43:42 AM)

In checking back in with this thread I am brought back to a subject that occasionally gets brought up on here and one that I often think about. Strong submission versus weak. I am sure we have all come across people that identify as submissive/slaves, that we either perceive as strong or weak.

I think that what it really comes down to, regardless of dominant or submissive is where we are in our own personal growth. Qualities like, self awareness, confidence, personal responsibility, etc.....all play into the qualities that make a person strong or weak. At least in my eyes.

I've never personally been interested in a sub/slave that I perceived as being weak. They require too much work for too little reward. I don't want to have to teach a girl about honesty, help her figure out if she really wants a M/s relationship or just some kinky sex, etc. I won't jump through all those hoops. I am not here to fix or save, anyone. Just make their life fuller, richer.

Sure, we all have faults and things we need to work on. I am willing to assist with that. BUT, for each of us, there are lines. And for each of us, they are different. Again different levels of issues that we will determine as a strength or a weakness.



murmur -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/11/2007 7:03:50 AM)

I see weak dominance as a way to prove yourself by the eyes of others, being unsure and not enough confident in your capacities by needing the others to reassure you.
Strong dominance for me is the opposite, not having to prove yourself to no one cause you already know your strong and weak points and only have to prove yourself to yourself only. To me, that's the most attractive thing about a positive dominant man.



szobras -> RE: Dominance... Weak or Strong? (11/11/2007 9:25:17 AM)

I see Dominance as neither in itself.
Weak or strong..  I see as the perceptions of it's intensity.



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