RE: Living where you are, while being who you are

RE: Living where you are, while being who you are (Full Version)

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Celeste43 -> RE: Living where you are, while being who you are (11/9/2007 9:08:33 AM)
I find if you are both loving and respectful, then nobody even notices that your relationship is unusual. " Honey, Jane's asked me to go out for coffee Friday after work. If I say yes, will this upset any plans?" Just change the name from Jane to Jack and it is still a respectful way of checking in with the other that flies under the radar. As far as ignoring red flags just to get a taste of what you want? Up to you if you want to deal with the drama. I would think that a better option is to go to a Pro Domme to have the experience.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Living where you are, while being who you are (11/9/2007 9:29:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Idowhatyousay This topic is related to my other topic (about the reality of "relocating.") but it's got a different twist. I am curious to speak with, and learn from, people who have been able to fully, or at least to some satisfactory degree, lived their BDSM lifestyle right under the noses of parents, siblings, etc. I'm not referring to just a kinky handcuffs-and-blindfolds situation. I speak of submission, slavery, stuff like that. Like losing control to someone, while dancing around the often watchful eyes of those people who know you very well, who see you often. I hazard this: as a male, I feel much more vulnerable losing control, given the status quo and expectations of our society (american, western). I think a woman could "hide" it in a "traditional" relationship, but I fear that a male might run into some rough spots, explaining certain things. I know that it's great to be courageous and do what you feel is right and all that, but one thing I can't control is the opinion of others, and their actions or inactions based on that opinion. Religious convictions are wrapped up in all this (in my family) as well as the simple negative feelings toward non-dominant men. Futhering the pressure of this dilemma is the fact that, given the supply shortage, would a man find himself in a position that's a little more crazy than what he'd prefer? Just to get the experience or relationship? Please correct me if I'm wrong, these are just things that keep me up at night and make me unhappy. I'd love to see it a different way, if that way was the best way. It's not a perfect world... Thank you In terms of your comment about women finding it easier to be submissive than men, I disagree, especially nowadays-I think there's a lot of pressure put on women to be tough and in control of their own lives and actually be a bit tough on blokes if it means getting what they want-I think the "sugar and spice and all things nice" image is an unpopular, frowned upon one.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Living where you are, while being who you are (11/9/2007 9:37:57 AM)
I'm very blessed to have a family who knows and accepts me. But, I also don't spend a great deal of time with them; my only sibling is much older than I and so I really grew up as an only child. My mother now lives several states away and my father died about 15 years ago. When I do take someone with me, it's usually not very overt stuff (although there was the time that I introduced slave jason). I think most people, if they're accepting, as going to be accepting of a relationship dynamic much more if they don't have glimpses into your sex life...and if the behavior you exhibit isn't over the top. Master Fire

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Living where you are, while being who you are (11/9/2007 11:34:34 AM)
My parents don't care, and don't give it a second thought. They say it's me being who I am and marching to my own drum. In fact my mom jokes about telling James to tell me to do things, Because she knows he hands down the rules. And she believes if he tells me to do something I'll do it. One day she's all like tell James I said to tell him to tell you to pick up the pigstye you live in. quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I think calling someone Daddy or Master in front of your parents is disrespectful to them.

softpjOS -> RE: Living where you are, while being who you are (11/9/2007 11:48:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would have a problem living a 24/7 power exchange relationship amongst family, friends and neighbors without raising an eyebrow... provided you have a bit of common sense. John So very very true! But, sadly many can't wrap their minds around this lifestyle being more then whips, cuffs, and 24/7 role play. My relationship with Mistress raised a few eyebrows not because I insisted on kneeling at Her feet during Thanksgiving Dinner at Her mothers house, umm no... the eyebrows were because She was "with" another woman. No, we were never seen so much as holding hands, it was just their imagination running away with them. Nothing to do with our M/s relationship at all, purely midwestern homophobes doing what they do best. sighs So we adapt. Little things that appear completely innocent to anyone watching.... Serving Her plate before fixing my own, not starting to eat until She has, clearing Her plate from the table, making sure Her beverage is full and fresh at all times. Things I know She expects me to do, yet to Her mother, appears like I'm just getting Her something to drink. lol. No fuss, no bowing when I serve it and a look when She has to get it Herself. shudders THE LOOK.

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