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Stalker - 11/6/2007 6:52:16 PM

MissAnthropic

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/31/2007
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Hi E/everyone,

I have a stalker, this is just not any stalker this is my ex-husband. We are currently in a custody dispute. on 16th october he tried to add himself under an assumed name to my yahoo chat service, which I declined. He then visited my website on geocities, and read my work and followed me to Collar me and has been harrassing me ever since.

It's gone too far, to the point I have taken down my profiles on msn and yahoo and collar me. I have taken down my website and any pictures of me and the baby. He changes his nick and his ip number and gets around bans that the room owners and ircops have on him. Basically he has harrassed me until I no longer feel comfortable here at all.

The problem is he also says he has my address.

I have moved, unlisted number yadda yadda, he says his girlfriend is a policewoman and imo he is trying to intimidate me. I am terrified he will try to snatch the baby, either from daycare or literally out of my arms at the shopping centre etc.

I need legal help for Australia. I need it urgently.

This is not ok, this is not acceptable.

missanthropic

[Mod Note: Chat logs removed. Please contact your local authorities.]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 11/6/2007 8:11:45 PM >

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RE: Stalker - 11/6/2007 6:57:59 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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Have you even been to the police? Got a solicitor from Legal Aid?

You keep records obviously, get a restraining order.

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RE: Stalker - 11/6/2007 7:06:10 PM

MrSpectacular

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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Err - do they have cops down under. Do they have restraining orders?

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RE: Stalker - 11/6/2007 7:10:01 PM

shootingstar67

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
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I am very sorry you are going through this. I went though the exact same thing for years. I had to move. I couldn't tell any of my friends where I was. It was horrible. It is terrifying. It has been twelve years since I last saw him and I haven't had the courage to love again. The worst thing is I am starting to think now that he deliberately screwed me up so I would never be with anyone else. He had me conditioned in bed..so why not screw with my head. He was very smart and a skilled Dom (for a former vanilla) and an even smarter manipulator

There is nothing I can tell you. I am just sorry you are going through this! you seem like a figher so I think you have an excellent chance of pulling yourself through this and protecting your kids.

< Message edited by shootingstar67 -- 11/6/2007 7:11:18 PM >

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RE: Stalker - 11/6/2007 8:06:02 PM

Durus

Posts: 184
Joined: 7/9/2007
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What a horrible situation.

I don't know how things work there but here I would suggest finding a lawyer or firm that is very well established and well respected in your town. Often a lot of pressure can be brought to bear simply by having the right people know about your situation and that's before any legal remedies are used.

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RE: Stalker - 11/6/2007 8:24:05 PM

Owner59

Posts: 17033
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Dirty Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Have you even been to the police? Got a solicitor from Legal Aid?

You keep records obviously, get a restraining order.

Go to the police,tomorrow.Start a file.Ask for a DV counselor,demand one.Take their advice.Get the TRO,go for the PRO.

The law is on your side.Take full advantage of that.
Get your lawyer involved.If you don`t have one,get one ASAP.

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RE: Stalker - 11/7/2007 3:11:22 AM

Level

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Someone I care deeply for is going through similar issues right now. We're trying to get her loose from a nutty piece of shit, who has mentally and physically harmed her. There are no guarantees, except one: if you don't fight back, somehow, bad things will keep happening. I know it's scary.

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RE: Stalker - 11/7/2007 3:15:32 AM

shootingstar67

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular

Err - do they have cops down under. Do they have restraining orders?

Err... restraining orders are a joke. They olny restrain lawabiding people -not stalkers. Cops can't be around all the time and it takes them 20 mins to get there. You are only safe if you can afford a 24 hour bodyguard.

Nichole Simpson should have just gotten a restraining order or she would have been alive today? Is that what you are saying? Do you really think it is that simple? Do you have ANY idea kind of people we are talking about here?

Nope and you don't need to. Your post had absolutely no intention of being helpful or supportive in the first place.

I am sick of posters like you.

< Message edited by shootingstar67 -- 11/7/2007 3:34:00 AM >

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RE: Stalker - 11/7/2007 4:19:24 AM

mefisto69

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/19/2007
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Miss.........since this man has harrassed you online, the jurisdiction will fall to your federal police. There IS an IP trail. Use the authorities.

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RE: Stalker - 11/7/2007 7:11:56 AM

Owner59

Posts: 17033
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From: Dirty Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular

Err - do they have cops down under. Do they have restraining orders?

Err... restraining orders are a joke. They olny restrain lawabiding people -not stalkers.

Obviously,you have no experinace with DV laws,or P/TROs. Why don`t you just suggest throwing your hands up in the air,and hope for the best?

Cops can't be around all the time and it takes them 20 mins to get there. You are only safe if you can afford a 24 hour bodyguard.

Most of the time,they do work.Not having one, is the surest way to be bothered.

Do you really think it is that simple? Do you have ANY idea kind of people we are talking about here?

It`s never simple,just a 1st step.With out a TRO or PRO,the police are powerless to do anything ,pro-active or preventative or otherwise.With a TRP/PRO,the police can arrest him/her,for just being there,or close to her,or close to her family members.

After the 1st violation,he/she`s in front of a judge,w/ jail time and fines,for breaking the order that the judge signed.Judges don`t like to be fucked with.

Doing nothing,only invites the scoundrels to continue,and gives them an implied permission to keep going.A Permanent Restraining Order, is as obvious as you can get,and says that it is over and done,and to move on.Most do move on.

Nope and you don't need to.

I just helped a long time friend deal with and eventually get rid of(for now) her stalker/ex bf.It took 10 months of effort and countless trips to the next county to be there for her.It was exhausting in every way,especially mentally.He once pointed a loaded revolver at me,knowing I was helping her.Everyone is at risk,with stalkers.

Everything I mentioned,was a recommendation from the Domestic Violence councilor she had.There`s no magic pill,but there are ways to go about this.Your approuch is,(to do nothing)is about as useful as rocks in your bed.

< Message edited by Owner59 -- 11/7/2007 8:04:41 AM >

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RE: Stalker - 11/7/2007 7:14:34 AM

Lordandmaster

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I had a stalker once, and it all ended as soon as I went to the police. That has to be your first step.

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RE: Stalker - 11/15/2007 2:26:55 AM

MissAnthropic

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/31/2007
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Hi All,

Thanks for all the advice. I have notified the police and pressed charges, they are now proceeding with finding him and he will face a jail term. In the mean time I have moved and taken down a lot of my online material.

In the mean time we are taking safety very seriously, I have a 24/7 guard and am never alone. We are adding the baby to the protection order and basically being as careful as we can be, ensuring all doors and windows are locked at all times. Padlocks on the fences, Security grills, whatever it takes.

I wish things were different but the baby and I were already attacked once, and my house was robbed. I know some stalkers are simply bluffing but unfortunately mine is not :s

http://www.geocities.com/jessamyfreespirit/stalking.htm

jess

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RE: Stalker - 11/15/2007 2:58:42 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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Of course there are cops and laws down under.

- think abit what makes these guys tick. they get off by fear- why do they bother? be methodical and consistent. show no response to any strange online things. most people wont get entangled in others marital affairs- so likely he is lone.

having someone aware of your where abouts- safety at all times-[a true friend] sounds good to me.

even tho he has a gf in LE- she CAN NOT break the rules. she can lose her job! also- if she lets herself be used as a tool of manipulation- she is severely flawed. every thing is on cam or tape at pds.

i went thru fights myself. luckily it never got this far... but it did get childesh.

HUGS!

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RE: Stalker - 11/15/2007 3:02:49 AM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
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missa i am so sorry. i represented battered women in Florida pro bono for many years, which won't help you in Australia, but i do know that you're right to feel in danger and take whatever steps you feel are necessary to protect yourself and the baby.

My heart goes out to you. One of my clients was being stalked by her FBI ex husband, who broke into IRS records and used her social security number to track her. i got new social security numbers and names for her and her minor children, with the help of a sympathetic Senator. In theory you can't do it but we did. i never heard from her again and have always hoped that was a good sign.

Possibly a similar solution to your dilemma might be available.

pinksugarsub

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