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How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:18:14 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I've been struggling with this for about a year. There's a woman at work who I think may be a CM sub. Her photos kindasorta look like the real person...but I can't be sure.
 
Is there any way to tactfully broach the subject except by blurting out, "Hey, aren't you [username] on CM?"
 
Les

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:20:52 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You really don't.  You are co workers, it's really not an appropriate question to ask.  If you were friends outside of work, my answer would differ.

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:27:07 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		Um. write to her on CM and ask some indirect questions? 

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:27:39 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

You really don't.  You are co workers, it's really not an appropriate question to ask.  If you were friends outside of work, my answer would differ.


Well, not really "co-workers." We work in the same building with 1200 other people. I don't even know her name, although I have a fair idea in which division and on which floor she works.
 
Same opinion?
 
Les

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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:30:38 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Unless you want her as a sub, why bother? If you do want her as a sub, don't you think it's a bad idea, you both working in the same building?

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:33:21 PM   
neph


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		Don't contact her at work, thats for sure...
"Hi, I'm creepy stalker guy.  Please contact HR and suggest I might show up with a rifle!"

Maybe contact her on here, but accept the idea that she may not want someone to connect her on CM with her at work. 

Me? I'd  maybe go with "Hey, I think we may work at the same company.  Do you work for a large company in the <blah> business?"



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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:35:45 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Unless you want her as a sub, why bother?


Curiousity, pure and simple. I'm always on the lookout for like-minded people. For example, I have a very small pic of a triskele on my cubicle wall. I'm interested to see if anyone will ever ask about it. No takers so far (2 weeks)



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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:36:52 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		  If it were me---I'd look at you like you were nuts.   There is one here that kinda sort of looks like a former co-worker of mine.   Is it---I dunno.   I'd never ever ask---I don't wanna out me.  

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:42:12 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		OK, OK. I'm getting the distinct feeling this would be a bad idea.  The better idea might just be to say, "Hi, don't you work in [xyz division] and let it go.
 
Thanx for all the prompt (and consistent) responses!
 
Les

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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:44:35 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Haven't you ever heard, don't sh*t in the same pond you fish in. You probably won't listen and you'll make the same mistake I made in my younger days. It will backfire on you and someone will have to find a new place of employment (if not both). If she shows no interest in you, then ignore her. But you won't, because that is not the answer you want.

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:44:38 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		If it's just curiousity, then don't. You could make her feel very uncomfortable and afraid of being outed.

You have a pic on your profile. If she's seeking, she would have seen it. If she has and hasn't contacted you, I'd say she wouldn't be interested in a friendship.

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:45:06 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Thing is does your pic here look like you? If so then be afraid...be very afraid. She may very well already be onto you.


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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:54:59 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLegs

Um. write to her on CM and ask some indirect questions?


Heck, you could write to her on CM and ask a direct question. "Hello. Have I seen you in the [whatever] building?"

She may write back yes, we should grab a cup of coffee sometime. She may write back that you're mistaken. She may write back that you're mistaken, and be lying. She may not write back at all.

But regardless of how unsatisfactory to your burning curiosity, it is NEVER courteous and there is no "tactful" way to ask someone at work if they're on a kink site. And of course you know that, since you've been "struggling" with this for about a year.


** Edited to say, Oops! I was late with this. lol

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 11/5/2007 5:57:05 PM >

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 5:59:48 PM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		I'm in the camp with the people to contact her through cm.  I would just be direct and honest.  I  mean heck, we all know we have "normy" lives too... well at least some of us do!
If she is the same person she may blow you off or she may suggest coffee sometime.  Who knows.
just my humble opinion,
oct

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 6:01:21 PM   
Matadorr


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		The best idea is approching her like a normal sub on collarme and as you learn more about her this particular mystery would be cleared up. But if she isnt interested in you on a friends or sexual basis before you find the answer to this question, than the answer is pretty much irrelevant anyways. Persue her, and see where it leads.

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 6:15:07 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm, a lot of the suggestions to go ahead and make a contact via CM look like it'll probably turn out ugly.

Here's some of my thoughts on a strategic introduction...

Never mention work. Nothing fills the underwear faster when a stranger mentions a building you work at.

Set it in your mind that it's not important to find out if it's REALLY that person you saw on the corner or building. Just lose that idea, right now.

Now, do like the rest of us do, flounder around on CM, trying to make connections. :) Strike up stilted conversations that die on the vine from too many distractions, make really adolescent jokes, and laugh at ourselves uncomfortably. :)

Okay, now go get 'er tiger!



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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 6:17:09 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		People know me, see my pic on my messenger, and it still bugs me out when people I barely know, or dont know ask me if I am ______from Yahoo messenger.
I expect to get some greetings, as I run a group and that is the reason I am somewhat open.
But I think it would really bother me to know that someone I worked with saw me on CM. 
Let's turn it around.  Would you be comfortable if your pic was up here.. or someone who looked a lot like you had a pic here, and your boss or nosy busybody came up to you and asked, are you that perverted dominant on CM?
Kyst

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 6:26:36 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		Do you know that every women that works in an office building is looking at your profile to see if she could be the women you are talking about now?

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 7:03:51 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ask her if she'd like to wear nipple clamps and a vibe to dinner that night.

And then you make your appointment for the unemployment office, tomorrow.

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RE: How 2 approach someone who MAY be on CM? - 11/5/2007 7:09:10 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

Do you know that every women that works in an office building is looking at your profile to see if she could be the women you are talking about now?


I didn't... he said she is sub. grin

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