Opinions on online slavery (Full Version)

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Manlock -> Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:25:26 PM)

Hi all

Im new. Not just to this site but to bdsm communities. I have spoken in the past to individuals and have been to many chatrooms and of course have partaken in select fantasies in real life but i have never before attempted to visit a community.

Now i have done so i would like to get an opinion of the masses.

My chosen path, when it comes to bdsm, is to continue my more extreme fantasies online and therefore tend to ask/get offered online relationships.
Joining a site like this of course when asked i would explain that i am only interested in an online relationship.

My question is, is that generally frowned on? Do you all have a deep disliking for people like me who enjoy online scene play, in some respects more than the real thing.

In other words, am i likely to be welcome here?

(Please bear in mind i am not trolling nor do i plan to and i am not asking for anyone to scene with me. This is a genuine question with no hidden motives.)

Thanks
manlock



MasterDaveM -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:30:10 PM)

its my personal opinion that online relationships are like long distance ones... completely unfulfilling
yes there is a ton of communication but you cant discount the little things like sitting quietly together or doing boring shit like "going to the store together"... those little things go a long way to building a healthy interpersonal relationship

will you be welcome here? its like anything ... some will like you, some wont. you cant please everyone. be who you are... if at the end of your life you have 5 true friends, you have more than most.... everyone else is little more than an aquaintance



MusicalBoredom -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:36:35 PM)

My personal preference is not for online relationships other than the casual "hey how are you doing" types.  If online is what you want then by all means go for it.  There are some that talk down about those types of relationships but if it works for you then good.  Sometimes while screaming for acceptance and tolerance from others we can be rather myopic in our opinions of what people in the scene should do.  Go for what you want and have fun.



Manlock -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:38:35 PM)

Thankyou for the reply.
I agree that an online relationship when compared to a real one is unfulfilling. But assuming your after a fairly basic relationship that might attend to the needs of both the sub and the Dom/me my personal opinion is that they are ok.
Having said that, there are many who have told me, that people like me, looking for bdsm only online, are not doing it properly. Many of course agree with me that it caters to people who, for whatever reason, do not wish to live the lifestyle.




Manlock -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:41:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MusicalBoredom

My personal preference is not for online relationships other than the casual "hey how are you doing" types.  If online is what you want then by all means go for it.  There are some that talk down about those types of relationships but if it works for you then good.  Sometimes while screaming for acceptance and tolerance from others we can be rather myopic in our opinions of what people in the scene should do.  Go for what you want and have fun.



That was a nice reply, thankyou.

I agree, all relationships have a place. In the real world (outside of the net) i enjoy milder manners of the bdsm lifestyle. Online i would like to partake in the more extreme fantasies. Somethink if i am not prepared to do said fantasies in the realworld then i should not do them online.
But it works for me that way (and evidently for those i have been involved with) and so i have seen no reason to change it.



MasterDaveM -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:54:20 PM)

there is nothing "wrong" with seeking an online relationship... you are not "bad" for doing so. do what you must do... you are not "judged" as "less than" for having online relationships... its just a preference that i choose not to engage in. personal choice... one is not "better" than another. you must live your life as you see fit to leave it...



LadyPact -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 1:57:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Manlock

Hi all

Im new. Not just to this site but to bdsm communities. I have spoken in the past to individuals and have been to many chatrooms and of course have partaken in select fantasies in real life but i have never before attempted to visit a community.

Now i have done so i would like to get an opinion of the masses.

My chosen path, when it comes to bdsm, is to continue my more extreme fantasies online and therefore tend to ask/get offered online relationships.
Joining a site like this of course when asked i would explain that i am only interested in an online relationship.



Thanks
manlock


This is My opinion alone, but I believe you answered your own question with the highlighted, descriptive word.



beargonewild -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 2:00:54 PM)

Being this is a very diverse community, you will find a variety of opinions regarding strictly online relationships. It would be safe to state that many do not have a good opinion on these types of relationships, yet to each their on in my opinion. From my own experience, online is fine thought I will reach a point where It needs to be taken into real life. That how I am.It is not for me to like or dislike anyone who does online relationships. I base my liking of a person on how they treat myself and others in general, basically, my kink is mine and your kink is yours!



SmokingGun82 -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 2:14:42 PM)

Based on your first few posts, I'd say you'll have no trouble being "accepted" here. There are thousands of members, and thousands of separate kinks/interests/desires. Some will share your fondness for online play, some will dislike it quietly, some will openly say it doesn't count... but for the most part, you'll be judged on just a few criteria-

1) Are you nothing more than flamebait? Meaning, do you speak in absolutes, express your disgust with others who don't follow your "one true way," etcetera... you don't seem to be, so no worries there.

2) Do you contribute positively to conversations? This one is subjective, but it's also important...  there are plenty of people who regularly post that I don't particularly agree with, but they've always got an interesting point, or a clever comment, or... whatever. They make every thread they reply to better.

Those seem to be the big things... and from this thread, I'd say you'll be fine. And Hell, you might even find someone who's into the exact same things you are. Stranger things have certainly happened.

Good luck, and enjoy your stay.



MistressPurpleFL -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 2:27:37 PM)

The internet is just another means of communication HOWEVER I am not into the online domination because I BORE easily and prefer HANDS ON play. 
There is no substance for me with regards to online play.  I want to see and hear a person whimper and moan; to be aroused by the fact that is me who inflicts both pain and pleasure on them and not some key board stroke.
 
Smiles,
\MP[8|]



toservez -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 2:37:02 PM)

Like with anyone it depends on what you write about and how you write it. Yes, you are going to get people on here that live to chest thump and validate their lives and will rip you for your choices you are making in life but most of these people are going to find something to rip you not because of you but out of a need within themselves.

At the same time though if you do start writing in a tone that you think online is equal to real time experience and offer advice let alone make judgments on things you have never experienced then of course be prepared to get ripped. Guess what though, that goes for most people who judge and write about things in that way.

I say welcome to the message boards. Just realize and accept that online and real time have some similarities but are basically very different.





RosesHaveThorns -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 2:41:03 PM)

Do you make it clear that it will never be more? Do you two(or more) enjoy yourselves?

Then how is it any of my business?

Many people might react badly to it because scammers often do the same thing, as well as those who lead on an unfortunate hopeful. But if you are doing neither, I say live and let live. It's like a one night stand, but with less chance of STI's



laurell3 -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 4:05:07 PM)

Welcome to the forums, I think you will be fine as you've already demonstrated tolerance and manners.  CM can be an intimidating bunch at times, but with all opinions in life, take it with a grain of salt and always decide what's best for you.  If that's online right now, then it is and no one can tell you anything different would be best for YOU.
good luck to you,
l



PsyVamp -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 4:10:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPurpleFL

The internet is just another means of communication HOWEVER I am not into the online domination because I BORE easily and prefer HANDS ON play. 
There is no substance for me with regards to online play.  I want to see and hear a person whimper and moan; to be aroused by the fact that is me who inflicts both pain and pleasure on them and not some key board stroke.
 
Smiles,
\MP[8|]
 


 
Now its time for me to agree with you. [;)]

To the OP
I don't go in for on-line only but have used it in addition to r/t in certain situations.  I would suggest reading the profiles of the people who interest you as sometimes they will state their preferences regarding on line play.
Good luck

-Psy

*edited because I forgot to keep my post out of the quoted box!



maclough -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 4:10:52 PM)

Hmmn, is online only frowned upon or looked down on?  Well, isn't everything in the BDSM world frowned upon?  I mean most is illegal ... oppps.  Some will snub you, some will be more than happy to help you live out your fantasy online, some may try to offer advice and then others will just well... you know.  If it makes you happy then what does it matter what others think?

[8|]



dollenburg -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 6:05:51 PM)

I don't get it. Why not just imagine the interaction and tie yourself up?



breatheasone -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 6:14:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Manlock

Hi all

Im new. Not just to this site but to bdsm communities. I have spoken in the past to individuals and have been to many chatrooms and of course have partaken in select fantasies in real life but i have never before attempted to visit a community.

Now i have done so i would like to get an opinion of the masses.

My chosen path, when it comes to bdsm, is to continue my more extreme fantasies online and therefore tend to ask/get offered online relationships.
Joining a site like this of course when asked i would explain that i am only interested in an online relationship.

My question is, is that generally frowned on? Do you all have a deep disliking for people like me who enjoy online scene play, in some respects more than the real thing.

In other words, am i likely to be welcome here?

(Please bear in mind i am not trolling nor do i plan to and i am not asking for anyone to scene with me. This is a genuine question with no hidden motives.)

Thanks
manlock

I honestly can't imagine someone would be disliked as a person for that alone. Now if you are an asshole, and like online relationships.... You would be disliked (or liked as the case may be) because you are an asshole, and HOPEFULLY not because you perfer an online relationship as you say.



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 6:19:09 PM)

I don't want to judge what others take value from, so the following only reflects how I feel toward online slavery.

I don't cyber, I don't play on-line, I would be bored. If I can't hold her, spank her, smell her, feel her and much, much more .... why waste my time. If I can't see the look on her face when I grab her and fuck the hell out of her, where is the fun. If I can't see the imprint of my hand on her ass, why bother. I find it ridiculous and boring. But, that is just for me, personally (don't flame the hell out of me, he asked our permission.



Phoenixandnika -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 6:27:16 PM)

Manlock,
 
Some will say what you have isn't a "true" relationship or that your not doing it the "true" way.  In the end it really shouldn't matter what they think, or what I think. You have to do what is best for you. There are alot of reasons people have online relationships, there are that does not mean they are not real to them. If this is what works for you at this point in your life, I wish you the best of luck.
 
Blessed be,
Nika



TakenPet -> RE: Opinions on online slavery (10/29/2007 6:54:56 PM)

For some online is the best way to break in, and for others its a bore.  To each his own, online, long distance, in person, casual, whatever makes you happy.  You should not allow someone else to judge what you have relationship wise.  No one will have the exact same opinion as you, and no one will share exactly the same view on life as you do.  Whatever you feel or need for the moment is where you have to go. 
There is something to be said for online play, but there is also something to be said for physical contact.  Tis not my place to judge, I am currently online and long distance, nature of the beast financially right now.  There are many reason for all the different ways that people are together, and as you can tell there are a large variety of opinions onthe subject. You should be objective you are standing in judgement of another, and remains subjective when you are in judgement of yourself.  Its all about what works for the two of you at the time. 
I myself prefer physical, the sounds, smells, tastes and so on, but like I said, financially it has to be what it is, if it doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be.
Good luck



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