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Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 7:51:02 AM   
mtl146687


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/24/2007
Status: offline 		Hello to all,

Im currently in University and I won't lie, I enjoy participating in all the stereotypical university activities (football games, keg parties and maybe the occasional class as well ;) as well as a part time job.  But I also love talking to my domme when Im away from her, and find it hard to get both fixes in all on the same day. So Im just wondering if theres a healthy balance to fit it all in? Obviously school is important, but so is spending time with my miss as well. thanks for the replies in advance.
cheers
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 7:55:07 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		yes, there is a healthy balance to fit it all in...how to do it is up to you....sorry i can't be more helpful....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 7:57:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		After class take your Domme to the football game then after the game to a keg party.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 7:58:14 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl146687

Hello to all,

Im currently in University and I won't lie, I enjoy participating in all the stereotypical university activities (football games, keg parties and maybe the occasional class as well ;) as well as a part time job.  But I also love talking to my domme when Im away from her, and find it hard to get both fixes in all on the same day. So Im just wondering if theres a healthy balance to fit it all in? Obviously school is important, but so is spending time with my miss as well. thanks for the replies in advance.
cheers


Easy one. which one will pay your bills in the long run;  your education or D/s?  Priorities ae important.  Growing up isn't pleasant at times, just necessary.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 8:08:00 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Lotus Song has a point! But how much contact you and your Domme have is something the two of you can negotiate. Unfortunately for me, I only get to see mine one or two weekends a month, (she's a three hour drive from me) but we do try to at least touch base on a dialy basis via phone, email and IMs.

Your milage may vary. :)

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 8:10:25 AM   
mtl146687


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/24/2007
Status: offline 		lol, well from my hometown shes litterally straight down the highway. But Im away from home for school, which obviously hinders my availabilty to her...damn I shouldnt of signed that lease... lol

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 8:12:55 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		thats what phonecalls and text messageing and IMs and email are for...you signed up for school and signed that lease...don't let your penis get in the way of your commitments....

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 10/24/2007 8:13:09 AM >

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 8:29:29 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl146687

Hello to all,

Im currently in University and I won't lie, I enjoy participating in all the stereotypical university activities (football games, keg parties and maybe the occasional class as well ;) as well as a part time job.  But I also love talking to my domme when Im away from her, and find it hard to get both fixes in all on the same day. So Im just wondering if theres a healthy balance to fit it all in? Obviously school is important, but so is spending time with my miss as well. thanks for the replies in advance.
cheers


To be honest I don't think it’s a function of balance, but rather of priorities.  You have people or institutions (not to mention you probably are also) investing financially in your future, so I think what matters and what's hopefully your dominants priority is making sure that you make it through college with the best grades, networking/connections, and possibilities for the future.
C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to mtl146687)
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RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 8:37:10 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Education first, everything else follows.

(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 8:42:52 AM   
brattysarahjane


Posts: 36
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		it seems just as difficult as any long distance relationship.  School is important and so is your Lady.  if you cut back on the keggers and get your school work done, you'll have more time to spend with Her.

bratty sarah jane

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 9:04:46 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i have to disagree with the "education first, everything else follows" sentiments...i've seen way too many students burn out without balance in their lives...it will do you no good to go to school 24/7 and end up dropping at the drop date or failing your classes or anything like that...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to brattysarahjane)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 10:08:05 AM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		Just MHO, for what it's worth.  Your Miss should be supporting (with encouragement, maybe some rewards at a later time) your education efforts.  You do need something to have a way to support yourself and be an adult.  I think that, like a good parent, a good dominant will show support for any endevor that helps you grow and better yourself.  Have y'all set aside specific times for chats?  Maybe prioritize the shcool work and contact with her and then, after those are met, the keggers.  I know when Sir is away for his work, we set aside chat times and it helps me a lot to know he will be here to "talk" to me.  It helps me focus on my daily things and get it all done so I can be ready to be here for him when he is here for me.  This is an exciting time in your life and i hope you find the balance that fills your needs and helps you grow.
be well,
opal



_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

... and i did.


~Surrender without Fear~
~Power without Guilt~
~Love without Doubt~

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 10:33:20 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
Balance--this is a tricky. I would suggest to take a pen and paper and put in order of importance your priorities. Then plan what kind of time commitment you can/are realistically going to make to each. Then comes the hard part-- stick to the limits you set for yourself, to your priorities. Keep in mind though that with time our priorities change. Remember to be realistic in your goals, talk to those closest to you such as your partner, perhaps your instructors, your immediate supervisor and see if your goals match theirs. I think a person needs to be able to devote themselves to family, school, career, hobbies, ect separately, without them always bleeding over into the other.
 
Blessed Be,
Nika

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 11:19:27 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		It doesn't take that much time to send a quick email or text message. If you both stop for lunch at the same time, that would be a good time to plan to talk.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 11:26:59 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		for this slave, healthy is achieved in serving One, focusing on One and eliminating all other distractions from that service.  effective multi-tasking between multiple dominating influences isn't this slave's forte'.
 
good luck in finding the "healthy" that works for you.

(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 11:29:11 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Ive just graduated and i obviously prioritised study above all else but the beauty of being a student is you have loads of free time :) made long weekends really easy to do. Mostly i used the phone (be warned though most halls/student homes have really thin walls some of the looks and questions i got were rather funny)  But i would be more flexible with meets. Now i work 8-5.30 weekdays have to egt up at six, yeah now theres a problem with how i in social life having been so used to the freedom

_____________________________

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 11:50:55 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i'm balancing school with work and my "social calender" and i only see my Dom maybe 2-3 times a week. Which i know i'm lucky to have, but it is hard. That's why two of my rules when he's not around is to im him nightly to talk about my day, vent, etc. and to call him everyday around a specified time unless told otherwise.
   It's all on what you and your Domme think up of as a way to continue your communication.

(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 1:25:57 PM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline 		We all make choices based on our needs/wants.  If you find yourself wanting to spend more time at football games and keggers rather than with your Domme, maybe you should ask yourself why that is.  I know my submissive would rather be with me than at any sporting event...and that feels good.  Of course, we both are well out of college and had those experiences.

School is important and should be your priority as should your job if that is how you are managing to be in school and away from home.  In your situation you may find that you just don't have enough hours in the day to do everything you want...at these moments you must first make time for your immediate needs...sleep, eating well and going to school and work.  After those needs are met you need to divide your time between your choices of how you socialize.

Honestly, if I were your Domme, I would want you to prioritize school and have those student type of experiences you really only get once in your life.  I would try and incorporate our D/s to correlate with your studies.  "If you get anything less than an "A" on that exam...you will be punished severely." or you may only see me with "A" on your paper...etc.

Good luck.  Life is very demanding and we all have time constraints.  Learning to prioritize, managing our time, our families and social lives isn't always easy.

< Message edited by MsIncontrol -- 10/24/2007 1:26:23 PM >

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Happiness is only real when shared. - Christopher McCandless

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 1:43:34 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl146687

Hello to all,

Im currently in University and I won't lie, I enjoy participating in all the stereotypical university activities (football games, keg parties and maybe the occasional class as well ;) as well as a part time job.  But I also love talking to my domme when Im away from her, and find it hard to get both fixes in all on the same day. So Im just wondering if theres a healthy balance to fit it all in? Obviously school is important, but so is spending time with my miss as well. thanks for the replies in advance.
cheers


We find that it's helpful to have a rule that schoolwork has to come first, no matter how much he wants something or how much I want to provide it for him.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mtl146687)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Healthy Balance? - 10/24/2007 7:08:45 PM   
darkcatnip


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		You know.. I had this same probelm when I met my bf who doesnt attend my college. I basically did this.. I used the weekdays to attend college events, campus meetings, went to football games, and the usual beer bust. Then on the weekends, I devoted them to him. (I switched up fridays). I'll admit its very hard.. School is very time consuming.. but its a sacrifice worth taking.

If you wanna talk more about managing the whole college social life and sex life..just message me. :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 20
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