RE: Square table

RE: Square table (Full Version)

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catize -> RE: Square table (10/23/2007 7:33:32 PM)
SlaveJoy, I 'get' where punishment can be effectively used. My objection is more with the seeming preponderance of looking at punisment/correction as a first response rather than used sparingly. As Ownedgirlie, Toservez and quite a few others have pointed out to me, it may just that this venue makes it appear to be overused rather than the reality.

catize -> RE: Square table (10/23/2007 7:42:48 PM)
quote: Some people actually are sadists you know. ;) They sometimes do find glee in imagining things that they can do to make someone else's experience unpleasant. I personally don't like the realities of punishment in a relationship cause it would indicate something being wrong in the dynamic, the communication, etc., but that doesn't mean that fantasizing about punishing someone, excessively and unfairly, isn't really hot! I think that's where at least some of the punishment threads come from. And some of us actually are masochists! ~grin~ And I heartily agree that some punishment fantasies are very alluring. My objection is that if one is going to write a fantasy on this forum they would be better served to state that up front. (at the very least I would be better served---heh---)

LostMyself -> RE: Square table (10/23/2007 7:44:48 PM)
My mistress once posted about what the "punishment" should be for making fish faces. I'd get in "trouble" all the time for sticking out my tongue.. but it always made them smile when I did. Same with the fish face. They couldn't help but laugh.. and I'd smile innocently and be told that I was so cute but that wasn't gonna get me out of a beating.. but it wasn't for actually being bad. SAMminess was a game then, I guess, and punishments for it were for fun.. and so were the infringements, for that matter. The stuff I did wasn't bad or disobedient.. it was cute and fun, and so was the spanking or caning I'd get later.. where would the S/M part go otherwise? I'd think that most subs usually behave.. but that dosn't mean not doing things to provoke "play punishment"

catize -> RE: Square table (10/23/2007 7:48:06 PM)
Excellent point, KnightofMists. When a relationship is on the cusp of failure, desperate measures seldom solve the basic problem.

DominaSmartass -> RE: Square table (10/24/2007 7:15:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LostMyself My mistress once posted about what the "punishment" should be for making fish faces. I'd get in "trouble" all the time for sticking out my tongue.. but it always made them smile when I did. Same with the fish face. They couldn't help but laugh.. and I'd smile innocently and be told that I was so cute but that wasn't gonna get me out of a beating.. but it wasn't for actually being bad. Fun! My partner cracks his knuckles, neck, back, and any possible joint he can, which he knows makes me cringe. So, I slap his ass or whatever is in range whenever he cracks things. Even worse if he uses my body as leverage to induce a crack!

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Square table (10/25/2007 6:48:56 PM)
Nope. i have a set of rules, that yes i may challenge them to no avail. But both my Dom and i actually sat down and agreed to a set of rules to abide by.

meticulousgirl -> RE: Square table (10/26/2007 6:33:29 AM)
Yes cat that "game post" irritated the hell out of me and i made sure i posted exactly what i thought to that thread. When i screw up, i punnish myself far more than my Master ever could and between the two punnishments (my own to myself and my Owners to me) it is the most lonely feeling, the most unsecure place a slave or even a submissive finds themselves in, the hurt, the emotions are unbearable and for many subs and slaves that hurt, that guilt, and every other negative feeling that comes into play stays with that sub or slave for quite a while. Dom's seem to just think that when they end the punnishment, the slave forgets about it, no in many cases that's not the case and depending on how indepth the slave has gotten it probably wont be forgotten for quite sometime. That's why when someone just makes a freakin joke out of it, it's on them, and technicly shows just how out of touch that person is with how both parties "operate" in this lifestyle. ~meticulous~

Jasmyn -> RE: Square table (10/26/2007 9:54:09 AM)
I can not believe the flak that thread has attracted ... really I'm flabbergasted ... My subs know there are consequences to their actions, or in actions ... I won't make apologies for conducting my d/s relationships in this manner ... punishment is part and parcel of our life together ... Bring on the breadcrumbs.

camille65 -> RE: Square table (10/26/2007 10:25:47 AM)
I've a few thoughts sparked by this thread. I think a lot of the punishment threads are originally posted for potential wank material, then the regs ruin that [:D] by discussing the reality of punishment, disobedience etc. We don't hear a lot on really solid healthy relationships because well really.. how often [excluding the Positive Experiences forum] do people really post that they're doing great? I think most people post because they have questions, issues, problems and need input. If you're in a great relationship you don't need the input! Some indeed do thrive on what some would see as negative or harmful attention. That's the key, 'some see it as negative or harmful' and others thrive in it. I may not understand thriving under that but I do understand that there are those that do. I think some confuse correction with punishment. In my world correction comes first [second, third and sometimes fourth lol] before any kind of punishment would be meted.

laurell3 -> RE: Square table (10/26/2007 11:54:07 AM)
Honestly when I'm in a comitted ltr as a sub the correction is punishment enough and I tend to berate myself for it regardless of what he says. Nuturing does wonders for me, criticism, does not and one is unlikely to like the results of it. So I agree that the number of and trivialness of the threads regarding punishment is somewhat alarming. I have experienced Doms that had to call something punishment in order to process inflicting intense pain. However, I don't think that's the case with most posters on this subject as much as they are inexperienced and have a viewpoint that subs/slaves are like puppies. It's mostly hype and some of it complete and utter bs by nonr/t players. There are a number of people on this forum that I respect their opinions regardless of whether they are the same as mine or not. I come here to get ideas and thoughts from them to challenge my way of thinking, the others I disregard or am amused by. As with all things in life, you have to keep the good close and give the crazy and/or bad limited weight to keep moving forward.

RRafe -> RE: Square table (10/26/2007 6:29:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Honestly when I'm in a comitted ltr as a sub the correction is punishment enough and I tend to berate myself for it regardless of what he says. Nuturing does wonders for me, criticism, does not and one is unlikely to like the results of it. So I agree that the number of and trivialness of the threads regarding punishment is somewhat alarming. I have experienced Doms that had to call something punishment in order to process inflicting intense pain. However, I don't think that's the case with most posters on this subject as much as they are inexperienced and have a viewpoint that subs/slaves are like puppies. It's mostly hype and some of it complete and utter bs by nonr/t players. There are a number of people on this forum that I respect their opinions regardless of whether they are the same as mine or not. I come here to get ideas and thoughts from them to challenge my way of thinking, the others I disregard or am amused by. As with all things in life, you have to keep the good close and give the crazy and/or bad limited weight to keep moving forward. The more I hear some wannabe top rattling on about the "theory of domination"-the less I give them any real life credence. The bullshit usually comes to a screeching stop-when you ask them for a real time refference-of someone that has ACTUALLY submitted to them in the flesh. And no, your hand-or a blow up doll-does NOT count as a sub.[:D]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Square table (10/26/2007 7:18:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe [ And no, your hand-or a blow up doll-does NOT count as a sub.[:D] Dang, I was thinking about getting one of those blow-up sheep....

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