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protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 1:14:57 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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Around a month ago, I read a thread where people were talking about how difficult it was for them to maintain 24/7 M/s. Basically the high energy levels involved. I was a bit besides myself as to why so many people were Expressing how difficult it is.   I actually had some in depth conversations with a with people from CM at the time regarding that Thread.

I have not have owned nor trained a large number of slaves, I am fully aware of using "Multiple Protocal Levels". I relate to them like Driving a Stick (standard) car.   Should have a number of Gears that you can shift into at any moment.   Personally, I've used 4-5 Gears (Levels).   Yesterday, I came upon a Blog written by a slave, who talked about "Three Levels" between her and her master.   However, I have not seen much wrote about on the Message boards here regarding this practice.

I personally started using different protocal levels, because it was a natural and "common sense" thing to do at the time. Moments of exerting full control and the slave was not allowed to speak, down to something that appears to be a vanilla level. I am a bit lost or confused when people complain that it's difficult to maintain 24/7 D/s or M/s?   Then again, I know a lot of people that like to drive cars with automatic transmissions that don't want to deal with shifting gears.   They just use the Gas and break pedals to control the power of the car.

Anyways, I thought I'd start up this thread, to one make people aware and think about using "Protocal Levels" and see who else out there does this.   I don't mean just two modes (D/s and Vanilla) either.   Seems like there are a number of people that Use Protocal and then opt to not use it at all. Then complain and wonder why it's do much work to maintain D/s 24/7.

Hope this thread is a thought provoking one. Any comments, thoughts, experiences or questions welcomed. Long as it's on the topic of "Multiple Protocal Levels"

Post #: 1

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 1:19:34 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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Role Playing Protocals also count as well. Such as Protocals that a "little bratty girl" can use or play with.

Protocals/rules that you use for the sake of role playing that may differ from the typical 24/7 protocals.

Personally, if or when the time comes and I own another slave this is extremely important to her training and on going training.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 2

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 1:46:35 PM

CuriousLord

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The thread you mentioned, on how difficult it was to have 24/7 M/s.. well, that strikes me as a bit whiny. Sort of like, "OMG! It's sooo hard to be me!" And, as someone in a 24/7 M/s relationship, I can assure you, I find it more comfortable and simplistic than a vanilla relationship.

And, yes. Protocol is important. The rules and guidelines you lay down. I suppose you're calling situation-based sets of guidelines "protocal levels". No need to split it up like this. It's obvious that protocol may make different demands based on different situations.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 3

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 1:50:22 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

The thread you mentioned, on how difficult it was to have 24/7 M/s.. well, that strikes me as a bit whiny. Sort of like, "OMG! It's sooo hard to be me!" And, as someone in a 24/7 M/s relationship, I can assure you, I find it more comfortable and simplistic than a vanilla relationship.

And, yes. Protocol is important. The rules and guidelines you lay down. I suppose you're calling situation-based sets of guidelines "protocal levels". No need to split it up like this. It's obvious that protocol may make different demands based on different situations.

LOL, I thought it was crazy to read so many posts from people saying the same thing. I was a bit dumb founded myself. That thread really stuck out in my mind though.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 4

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 1:55:27 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

Anyways, I thought I'd start up this thread, to one make people aware and think about using "Protocal Levels" and Hope this thread is a thought provoking one. Any comments, thoughts, experiences or questions welcomed. Long as it's on the topic of "Multiple Protocal Levels"

I am with your in not understanding why living a M/s or D/s structured relationship should be so difficult.... IF you are with the right partner(s). I have found it to be impossible if you are trying to live a structure that is incompatiable for those in the relationship... but a dream when it is suited for those in the relationship.

As far as protocal levels... I use three... Formal... Standard... Casual.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 5

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 2:08:36 PM

MaamJay

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I think I missed the original thread ... probably just as well! Master and I don't formalise it into levels by name, but they definitely exist and it is pretty obvious when a transition from one to another is to occur. Being in Aussie, Our "standard" is pretty laid back (I'm guessing it might be similar to Knight's casual), but not the same as vanilla, which We only adopt around "those who don't know". Typically get a bit more formal when socialising with other bdsmers and most formal during play. But it's just not that hard to Us either ... the hardest thing is reverting to vanilla when needed ... remembering what name to use! Master and violet rub along really easily these days, He only has to pull her into line occasionally as she is very much motivated to do the right thing. Jay is having more of a challenge with Her new sub, as to be expected. There's a lot of autonomy still there, a lot of little habits to break, and therefore a lot more "work" to be done by both Jay and the sub. But that's part of the job and not seen as a burden unless the lessons remain unlearned. But I second Knight, with the wrong partner (as Jay was before), it is impossible and incredibly stressful.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 6

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 2:27:49 PM

toservez

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I must have missed that thread as well.

How you live your life with your other should have an element of freeing a person up mentally and hopefully give energy as well. I simply stunned about the OP mention of this thread and the responses. The main draw of 24/7 is that for me less stressful and more freeing mentally which in turn gives me more energy and happiness.

Protocols and rules are important in 24/7. I always get bugged a little when people use the term natural because I find the core may or has to be natural but the life itself needs to be augmented by such things which are not “natural”.

I must say I am not a big believer in having multiple levels or maybe get confused by when people talk about them that they sound more complex or mixed up a lot on a daily basis. Certainly I basically have three which are normal, severe and public. They are important and help but not so complex or tough to change or integrate.

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(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 7

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 2:32:30 PM

BeingChewsie

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Quick reply:

Our protocol is very simple...tone and demeanor matter. A dismissive tone or posture is not allowed. That is it.

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~Ron and Hup

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 8

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 2:55:19 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Whenever you make it about what you DO rather than who you ARE, you're making it hard on yourself unnecessarily.

People, specially newbies, want to do everything they can to make this "special/different" from what they used to do/be. So no longer can you simply get a drink, you have to be ordered for the drink from the floor, walk to get it, present it properly and then sit down again properly.

That's great when you're all new and shiny and buzzy- but that wears off. Over time, either training and/or long term fulfillment needs to kick in. And with so much happening in most peoples lives on so many levels- those formalities tend not to be the highest priority.

Of course by that time, people have attached meaning to the actions and thus think if they can't get a drink in THAT way at THAT time EVERY day, then somehow the whole relationship is going to hell. Rather than internalizing the meaning of the ritual, they keep it as an external reinforcement. Rather than enjoying the authority dynamic, they have created a fixed point which life always abhors.

Also, relationships are hard and take a lot of understanding and introspection. It's a lot easier to throw a bunch of rules on the ground and call it a day.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 9

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 3:08:35 PM

toservez

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From: All over now in Minnesota
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Whenever you make it about what you DO rather than who you ARE, you're making it hard on yourself unnecessarily.

People, specially newbies, want to do everything they can to make this "special/different" from what they used to do/be. So no longer can you simply get a drink, you have to be ordered for the drink from the floor, walk to get it, present it properly and then sit down again properly.

That's great when you're all new and shiny and buzzy- but that wears off. Over time, either training and/or long term fulfillment needs to kick in. And with so much happening in most peoples lives on so many levels- those formalities tend not to be the highest priority.

Of course by that time, people have attached meaning to the actions and thus think if they can't get a drink in THAT way at THAT time EVERY day, then somehow the whole relationship is going to hell. Rather than internalizing the meaning of the ritual, they keep it as an external reinforcement. Rather than enjoying the authority dynamic, they have created a fixed point which life always abhors.

Also, relationships are hard and take a lot of understanding and introspection. It's a lot easier to throw a bunch of rules on the ground and call it a day.

I agree and disagree with this. I agree certainly that too many rules and rituals and just for the sake of them or to try to keep a false sense of new relationship feeling is bad and can do more harm then good.

But creating an atmosphere in how you want to live these have a place and when they are designed with how effective they are for the two people involved both on an individual basis and together they are wonderful and important to the relationship.

I find this total negativity toward them in general may be LA preference or experience but effective rules and protocol in my real time experience measured in years to be quite helpful for both me and who I have served. They do not substitute for other things but they sure as hell can enhance.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 3:11:25 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'm too much a go with the flow kinda gal to get into rituals or protocol on anything but a surface level. But I agree- they CAN add a lot of security and enjoyment to people's lives as long as their meaning comes from an INTERNAL source and does not cause trauma if/when life forces it to change.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 11

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 3:21:35 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

they CAN add a lot of security and enjoyment to people's lives as long as their meaning comes from an INTERNAL source ...

ditto

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 3:22:09 PM

Argentopal

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We have, over the last decade, used rules, rituals and protocols and have had times we did not use them. We both like having them more than not. Rules to us, are different than rituals. We have daily rituals that we have to begin and end our day together, every day. We have a greeting ritual for when Sir gets home or anytime we arrive home together, first thing after we are both inside the house. Those 3 daily rituals help us both remain focused and "in the now" for us. It helps us keep ourselves who we are. It helps us keep the world out for just a few moments, as it were. We would not answer the phone during a ritual for example. It's just something we do for us that is special for us. We have protocols that we (for us) hold as different from rituals - for us protoclos are rules in place for certain situations. We also have everyday rules. I find 24 7 tpe Ds Ms very easy and comforting. I know the rules, I know the protocols and I know the rituals and they all bring me comfort and security and allow me the freedom to be who I want to be and be with whom I want in the way we want - if that makes sense.

opal

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... and i did.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 13

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 5:04:37 PM

AnimusRex

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I think people find it difficult to maintain a M/s relationship, usually because they expect it to be a constant series of intense erotic or romantic episodes.

Most of the protocols, rituals, and customs that exist in the BDSM world have their roots in works of fiction; The Story of O and 120 Days of Sodom being the foundation works. Unfortunately, often people try to make their lives mimic the fiction, and discover the fundamental disconnect- Stephan and O were cartoon people, with no real existance outside their erotic selves.

Protocol can and almost always does have varying levels, even if the couple never formalizes them. Sometimes it can be as high as having her eat from a dish on the floor, or as low as as simply removing His boots at the end of a day and letting Him alone to watch the game. If I am the Master, I shouldn't feel the need to orchestrate a theatrical scene every night.

I would think it odd and quite frankly, creepy, if people felt compelled to be in an erotic scene every moment of the day...

"The slave crawls to the servery, and grasps the bowl by its handles. Rubbing it along her belly to assure there are no nicks, she turns and walks in slow measured paces back the the room, and after passing the children's table, kneels in front of the Man, her thighs spread wide, her glistening slave heat plainly visible, nipples held by gleaming clamps, the thin chain dangling between heavy breasts, and speaks softly-

'Would Grandma Alice like any mashed potatoes?'"

From the novel, "Thanksgiving at the Mr. & Mrs. Kinkster Household".....

(in reply to Argentopal)

Post #: 14

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 5:15:53 PM

HollyBlue

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When my Master and I first moved in together, we really didn't have too many protocols except for he commanded, I obeyed (most of the time).

Over time, though, we found that the tendency to relate to each other in a "vanilla" fashion during conversation and everyday interaction was putting a strain on our ability to relate to each other as Master and slave when the situation warranted it (either during scening, sex, or other situations).

In order to relate to each other in the healthiest way possible, and to transition seamlessly from everyday life to scening and sex and back again, we came to the conclusion that he can't function well as a "part-time" Dom and I don't function well as a "part-time" sub. So, we began to research protocol, and went from being what most would call a "low protocol" couple to being a medium to high-protocol couple. As time goes on, I see us becoming increasingly dedicated to creating and living according to protocols that enhance our relationship with each other by enhancing:

1) His feelings of Dominance
2) My feelings of submissiveness
3) Our mutual feelings of connectedness with each other.

I know that some of our protocols may change over time, but when we began to incorporate even just a few simple ones (e.g. I stopped using his given name and began addressing him solely as "Master" or "Sir"), our relationship instantly changed for the better. I felt consistently more secure, happy, and treated him in a more respectful manner. He felt more in control and able to express his feelings and needs. It reduced our stress level significantly.

We don't really worry about different levels of protocol at this time, but don't really see the need to. When we establish something, and it's serving its purpose (as outlined in the 3 points above), we follow it, all the time, except when to do so would cause potential harm to us in the vanilla world.

As to whether 24/7 is easy or difficult, I think it depends on a number of factors, not just compatibility. If a couple have come from a lifetime of vanilla relationships, some habits are hard to break, and protocol is useful in breaking them. It may be that some couples find 24/7 easy because they "get" the need for at least some kind of protocol right off the bat. We didn't.

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(in reply to Argentopal)

Post #: 15

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 6:46:44 PM

Estring

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Balance.

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 6:54:47 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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fast reply

my SO and i have discussed this and decided that protocols/rules aren't for us. our 24/7 lifestyle will mostly be nilla with a chocolate twist which is fine with us. like my relationship with Daddy, we'll keep the kink private and behind closed doors.

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Post #: 17

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 7:47:11 PM

Celeste43

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Some people prefer to have very few protocols. If you're a beer and barbecue type, then spending your life acting appropriately for a state dinner would be tiring. Perhaps it isn't that they don't have the right protocols, but they just don't need any.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 18

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 8:02:50 PM

slavegirljoy

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From: North Carolina, USA
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Being a 24/7 slave to Master David is the easiest, most comfortable and, most natural thing i have ever done. It's not hard work. It's not work, at all. It's my passion. It's what makes me light in my step and full of energy. There isn't a lot of ritual in Oour daily lives. There is just a basic, daily routine, of course, like most people have. There are just a few things that need to be done just so but, the rest is very flexible, depending on what the day has in store for Uus. Master David's rules are simple, straight-forward and, easy to live by. i always obey Him. i always address Him as either, Sir or Master. i never assume anything. i ask for clarification, whenever i'm not sure of what He wants me to do. i always show Him respect. i am never rude to anyone. i never raise my voice or talk back. i always have to ask for His permission to use the toilet. i am never allowed to orgasm, unless He tells me to. i am not allowed to masturbate, without His permission. i like having rules to live by. i don't like having to guess what i should do. i am His slave 24/7, no matter where Wwe are, who Wwe are with or, what Wwe are doing, in public and in private. As far as levels of, what, the way Wwe interact with each other? Is that what you mean by protocol levels? Not really. Whenever He tells me to do something, i simply do it, no matter what i might be doing at the time. i put His needs and wants ahead of mine. If i happen to 'forget' that, He reminds me, right away, usually by asking me a question that makes me stop and have to think about who i am and what i am, to Him and, that gets my 'mind right', back where it belongs. Actually, i would enjoy having more strict protocol in my life. But, Master David is pretty laid back and He's the Master so, i live by what He says. slave joyOwned property of Master David

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 19

RE: protocal levels for 24/7 - 10/19/2007 9:32:19 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Owner4SexSlave, Ladies and Gentlemen,

For me, protocol levels have their uses and it also has an expectation of behavior/manners and the rules of etiquette/behavior/manners/way of doing things.

Protocol for me comes in several levels, from Private Protocol when there are just us in the household. The Informal Protocol when friends and guests come over in a casual manner, to visit and our inner circle is there--no outsiders or unfamiliar guests. Semi-formal Protocol is when friends and guests come with outsiders and or unfamiliar guests and at non-formal functions, such as workshops, demonstrations, conventions and the like. Formal Protocol is saved for formal occasions, dinners, ceremonies we are participating in, demonstrating in, etc.

For me, the use of protocols are many but, the most important for me--is that it establishes and reaffirms the roles of Master-slave, Dominant-submissive as well as respect given and received and the responsibility as well as the joy in such. It is considered a form of 'salute' to me. One that is exchanged between Authority and submission to that authority and all the respect, trust, love, loyalty and honor tied into it.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 20

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