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taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:02:23 AM   
MistresMT


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		hi there just wanted to ask how i should train my first slave? I am a dom but i have never had a slave before. am really exited to have one but unsure of training.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:07:38 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		You are asking strangers how you should train someone to be in a personal relationship with yourself?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MistresMT)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:13:41 AM   
PrincessBush


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think that's what she is asking.  I believe that, like most who first enter this lifestyle, she is unsure of things to do/say to a slave/sub without sounding or looking dumb.. 
It's very scary and intimidating when you have never done this before, especially when it's you having to take the lead...

Have you read any books on the subject?  Try Mistress Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual...  That would be a good jumping off point for you..
Good luck..

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:15:28 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Here, I'll help you out. You just send her my way and I'll train her nicely for ya.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to MistresMT)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:17:58 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		If you are unsure, then I would suggest not taking in a slave at the present time.
You should be able to use your own instincts and train them your way, not the way others - especially strangers - may tell you.
 
My suggestion is work out first what you want and require - decide on your likes and dislikes - write a list even.  Discover yourself first, before you can unwrap another.  Read lots of books.  Look up authorslike Jay Wiseman, John Warre, Midori, Jack Rinella.  Read lots!  Find local groups and meet other dominants to get to know them and exchange ideas - don't rely on strangers on a forum.  Go to workshops - learn techniques you may like - such as shibari or needle play.  Take control of yourself, and your life, then you can control another.
 
And enjoy...
 
Peace
the.dark.
(.editbecausemyspellingsucks.)

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 10/17/2007 8:19:47 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MistresMT)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:24:54 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Start slowly. Don't issue more rules than you are capable of paying attention to. If you give out a list of 20, and don't notice if 15 aren't being done then respect for you will erode. Better to give one at a time and observe if it is being done, and if not, how to solve the problem preventing it from being accomplished.

Figure out what is most important to you, what you're fussiest about. Work on those things first. Because if he gets your coffee wrong every day, you won't be in a good mood to deal with other stuff.

Don't be afraid to decide that something isn't working and to discard it and try something else. It's a work in progress.

Most of all, have fun.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:28:04 AM   
ClosetSinner


Posts: 77
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a bit confused as to what you're asking?  In your profile you make it seem as if you have it all figured out already.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:28:51 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessBush

I don't think that's what she is asking. I believe that, like most who first enter this lifestyle, she is unsure of things to do/say to a slave/sub without sounding or looking dumb..
It's very scary and intimidating when you have never done this before, especially when it's you having to take the lead...

Have you read any books on the subject? Try Mistress Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual... That would be a good jumping off point for you..
Good luck..


I'll second this recommendation and add that you can both work through it together. Look at how that book is laid out -- one lesson per week or so. That means it will take time.

See if as a journey you are taking together and try not to have expectations of being perfect or even frankly great, settle for good and trying together.

With a few years of experience you'll figure out what you want more and over time with trial and error you'll get a better idea of how to train for what you want.

If you want more book suggestions please send me a private note then I can ask you some questions and make better recommendations.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to PrincessBush)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 8:31:30 AM   
SuspendedInGaffa


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/17/2007
From: Wales, UK
Status: offline 		I can second (by proxy) Darcyandthedark's recommendation re Midori. I bought a new Domme I'm talking to a copy of "Wild Side Sex" and it's gone down an absolute storm. A very eye-opening, practical and intelligent 'how-to' guide by all accounts, though she's only letting me read the subs' pages for fear of spoiling any future surprise.

_____________________________

I wormed my way into the heart of the crowd
I was shocked to find what was allowed

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 9:08:52 AM   
MistresMT


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		thank you all. you have all confermd what i allready felt and thought. Just want to make sure that i on the right track. 

(in reply to SuspendedInGaffa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 1:33:22 PM   
SirEbonyPhoenix


Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessBush

I don't think that's what she is asking.  I believe that, like most who first enter this lifestyle, she is unsure of things to do/say to a slave/sub without sounding or looking dumb.. 
It's very scary and intimidating when you have never done this before, especially when it's you having to take the lead...

Have you read any books on the subject?  Try Mistress Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual...  That would be a good jumping off point for you..
Good luck..


I happen to have that book and it is highly recommended as well as its compaion book, Training With Miss Abernathy:A Workbook For Erotic Slaves and Their Owners. But it is also recommended that you seek an experienced Master/Dominant as a mentor or trainer to observe your particular skills so that you can train your slave properly. Good luck to you!

_____________________________

"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."

(in reply to PrincessBush)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 1:37:47 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		What is the experience level of the slave to be trained?

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 1:43:40 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresMT

hi there just wanted to ask how i should train my first slave? I am a dom but i have never had a slave before. am really exited to have one but unsure of training.


mmmmmmm well.. I have two choices for you..

Go get a Dog Training Manual

Or

Become more deeply aware of who you are and strive to be the best you that you can be.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MistresMT)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 4:03:42 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
WOOF!



(sorry Sir...i just could not help myself)


*grinz*

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/17/2007 4:34:11 PM   
LostMyself


Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		To what extent are you planning on having a slave vs. having BDSM relationship?

(in reply to MistresMT)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/18/2007 3:29:04 PM   
Vanatru


Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Darcyandthedark had some good suggestions. Get a mentor or 2 or 3 that you can trust and knows what they are doing.  I had 4 when I got started cause I knew there were things I'd need to know and didn't want to waste my time doing all the stupid mistakes. Btw, the mentors also have to be dominants (subs/slaves can only tell you what they would like you to be or think constitutes being one).

Personal example: I've told new guys, you can't master another until you've mastered yourself. That'd be true for any dominant of any sex.

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/18/2007 7:39:35 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz


WOOF!

(sorry Sir...i just could not help myself)


*grinz*


*** chuckles**** got to love a girl with wit!!! 

BTW .. I seen you perving my profile...... I hope noted the new picture of myself and the girls that we took a few days ago in St. Augustine.  It's picture number 8

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/18/2007 7:55:35 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I hear you loud and clear sweetie.  Sometimes we forget how we first started.  Theres no right or wrong to bdsm.  You train your submissive to fit your needs.  Whats going on in your life that you need someone else to do?  Make him clean your place if needed, type papers if skilled, run errands, do any handy man work, kiss your ass.  The choice is yours.   No scripting just go with whatever pops into your head.  If you can't think of anything, put his naked ass in the corner until you do think of something.  Be safe and have fun.  

(in reply to MistresMT)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/18/2007 8:25:30 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Oh god, I remember the first time I started training a sub. I was shitting myself and the sub was more confident than me!!

Try making a list of what you would really like. I don't mean in your profile, I mean on paper. And some basic rules.

For example, when entering your home, does she strip and assume the position at your feet? Is she allowed to speak or must she get permission to speak?

Start with some things that will be done on a daily basis (or however often you will see her). Is she to have a routine, certain things that she would always do. Don't write a book, but jot down some idea's.

Remember she is YOUR slave. You must teach her the disciplines you want. But remember to have fun!!



_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: taking in of first slave - 10/19/2007 7:36:52 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
*laughs*

Wellll i very much enjoy looking at Handsome Men......now i am going to have to go perv it again ya knowww......

The pic is great!...then again, there is so much energy to be seen in all of them as one glances through.

(so now i will have to go perv all the girls' profiles too) *grinz*


Happy Friday! enjoy your weekend,

~smilezz~


(to the OP .... yeah i hijacked your thread for a moment....back to the same bat time, same bat channel)


_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 20
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