RE: Pursuit of Happiness (Full Version)

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toservez -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 9:42:28 AM)

I just believe the pursuit of happiness is in everything we do and for most people who can say they are basically content/happy in life this is accepting our lives for what they are and not some destination.

My point in the gross generalization that we all pursue happiness is that we are all making choices on a daily basis with this as the background. So whether a decision is based on short term, long term and/or mixed factors, almost all of our decisions we make in life have a pursuit of happiness factor.

What we are going to have for dinner for example. For some it will be purely what they feel like at that time. For others they might eat something healthy even though they may crave pizza. For others it may be what they like best that is in their kitchen because they do not feel like going to the store for what they are really craving. Happiness is in all of these decisions. The person to do just what they feel like at the time is catering to their immediate need for happiness on that level. The one choosing healthy is thinking about more long term happiness that being healthy means to them more then the craving. The one choosing what is in the kitchen is happier eating something there then going to the store and bringing something better home.

So to me pursuit of happiness can only be ruled out if you consider happiness as some destination which almost everyone on this thread does not so I do basically agree with everyone. I just think everyone is using a pursuit of happiness is for others searching for a destination and while acknowledging it is a feeling the fact is we do indulge and decide constantly to do things based on pursuing happiness that can often just be about breaking them down in immediate, short term and long term decisions for our selves.

So in my opinion happiness is certainly not a destination but we are certainly on a daily basis making conscious and sub conscious decisions to pursue what makes us happy and/or we think will make us happy in forms of immediate, short term and long term thinking decisions we make.




RCdc -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 10:01:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

So in my opinion happiness is certainly not a destination but we are certainly on a daily basis making conscious and sub conscious decisions to pursue what makes us happy and/or we think will make us happy in forms of immediate, short term and long term thinking decisions we make.



I don't pursue.  It may be in your mind that everyone does, but that doesn't make it correct without knowing the intentions of theperson and their motives.  It may sound like I am being pedantic and it's a choice of words of course, but I don't pursue.  I have no desire to overcome happiness.  I don't want to beat it.  I may chase things that may, in my mind, make me happy - capture and nurture them, but not pursue.
Besides I think there are an awful lot of times when people don't even aim for happiness.  There are many choices that must be made that make people unhappy - but are at that moment the 'right' thing to do.  It's far to easy to generalise peoples actions without knowing a person.
 
Peace
the.dark.



mistoferin -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 10:09:04 AM)

Happiness is a concious choice and it doesn't come from outside forces, it comes from within. I don't believe that everyone is pursuing happiness. I see some people who are stuck, trapped, given up or have allowed themselves to be defeated by life who do absolutely nothing to change their situations, inwardly or outwardly. I see some people who seem to have it all who are incredibly miserable. Then I see some who seem to be living with unbearable burdens in life who are happy and joyful despite it all.

We are all dealt hands of cards in this world....sometimes the cards are great and sometimes they suck. When the cards suck the options are to play with the hand you have been dealt or fold (which really isn't much of an option to me). From there you have two more options, you can either play them smiling or you can play them crying and feeling sorry for yourself. To me, crying and being miserable isn't going to change the hand.

I pursue happiness in the sense that I accept the current situation for what it is. If there is something sucky going on, I keep that seperated from the rest, it doesn't have to poison the "whole" picture. I make the best of the situation at hand and have faith in brighter tomorrows. I actively participate in things that I find interesting and fulfilling. I keep sight of "what is important" to me. And I absolutely REFUSE to allow anyone to steal my joy, I absolutely REFUSE to let myself be beaten down by life....and I don't ever lay the responsibility for MY happiness on anyone other than me.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 10:27:18 AM)

~ Fast Reply ~

Pursue, seek, want, look for, make choices toward (hopefully), whatever you want to call it...

I believe people generally wish to be happy.  Some don't know how to be, but that does not mean they do not wish to be.  And I believe, quite often, that people will look in all sorts of avenues to find what will bring them that happiness - whether it is in practicing religious doctrine, whether it is in a D/s lifestyle, or a monogomous non-D/s marriage, or being single, or in what they do as a career, or in any number of lifestyle groups out there - theater, books, photography, music, arts and crafts, intellectual studies - whatever they may be.

I also believe the key to being happy is to "know thyself" and be true to thyself.  Quite often people will explore various elements of life in order to discover who they truly are and what brings them peace, fulfillment, and, ultimately, happiness.

Yes, happiness can be found within, but how many can say they can be happy while living in any facet of life?  If my true calling is to be a musician - to write music and express myself through my songs and piano - would I be happy scrubbing floors in an ashram in India?  If my true calling is to be a world-wide traveler, taking brilliant photographs for National Geographic or the like, would I truly be happy living in the suburbs with a white picket fence, sharing recipes with my neighbors?

We each have what we need to be happy (I neither agree that happiness is a destination nor a feeling - rather it is a state of being), but I think that would include putting ourselves in a position to live our lives according to what makes us thrive as human beings.  When we can not live according to what our calling is, we can still find internal peace and enlightenment, but the state of happiness (or even bliss) may be more difficult to reach.

Some find that calling in slavery.  Some in Domination.  Some in spirituality.  Some in any other type of life.  Some in a combination of many types of life.  Anyone who comes to "this lifestyle" in search of such happiness is someone whom I see as exploring who they are.  Whether or not they ultimately find who that is while they are "here" is less important to me than the fact that they are on a journey toward discovering themselves.



xoxi -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 10:41:19 AM)

-=Fast Reply=-

That is a question I have been asking myself for the past couple weeks when deciding whether to pack up and move to meet a man who makes me happy.  Not just move across the country but across the globe - I'm in the States, he's an Aussie.

I realized that if I didn't go, if I was too scared to go, too scared to be hurt, whatever, then I couldn't rightfully say I was pursuing happiness - I would have been just sitting around waiting for happiness to pursue me.  And yes, sometimes it does just *happen* but I consider having met a man who makes me feel the desire to submit beyond anything I have ever dreamed of to be 'luck' enough.  Yes you knock and the door will open...but once it opens you are the one who has to cross the threshold.  That's pursuing happiness, to me - knowing when to stay still and when to jump headfirst into opportunity.

I refuse to be immobilized by fear of sadness, because to be honest I'm barely content right now.  If I don't take a chance at pursuing my happiness I will likely regret it more than I would if I did go and we ended up hating each other.  I have grown from every single one of my relationships (even the ones that ended painfully) and even if I don't spend forever with this man I still welcome the chance he will give me to blossom further as a woman and as a submissive.

OK this was more a diary entry than ponderings about happiness...but it was the first thing that came to mind, and the 'pursuit of happiness' is something at the forefront of my mind as far as this relationship goes.  So I answered [8D]



Gwynvyd -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 10:48:55 AM)

Sweetie I hope you find that grand leap of faith, and it all turns out exactly as you wish it to.

It is frightening, but alluring all at the same time. I wish you luck, and joy in the hunt.


Gwyn



xoxi -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 12:34:54 PM)

*hug*

Thank you *so* much!  Right now...it's like...I know I want to go.  But I don't have any paperwork (passport, visa) so it still seems unreal.  I know the day I have my passport in hand, the minute before he clicks 'purchase' on the plane ticket...I am going to be freaking out like a bride two steps before the aisle.

I know he is a wonderful person, and I know the worst that can happen is we just don't 'click' (although that doesn't seem possible at this stage) but I'm still so terribly nervous!

Thank you so much for your support [:)]



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/17/2007 1:31:15 PM)

If someone is lonely and hopeless, he/she wants to find the magic elixir of happiness. If you want to consume the magic of happiness you have to help make it.  



calicowgirl -> RE: Pursuit of Happiness (10/19/2007 11:39:56 AM)

~~~Fast Reply~~~

For me, happiness is something I create, not something I search for or persue. Often times it takes me a while to figure out what is causing my unhappiness and decide what to do about it, but ultimately the ability to be happy resides within myself.

cali



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