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Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 3:03:02 AM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Hey guys, i have need of a touch of support.

Do any of you guys have subs in Iraq? My pet, whom i love very much, happens to be in Iraq. They just went through a week of com silence basically meaning no one can speak to the outside world because one of their fellas died. I'm walking up panicked every day, i can barely take it, he promises to email me daily but then the situations over there make it impossible that he actually do that. When he doesnt email me, i imediately go to "Oh shit, he's dead now."

He was considering coming out, since he isnt straight, which would send him home. They lied all throughout the contract with him, haven't followed through on any of their promises and really i dont feel bad about the fact he uses their bigotry to tell the truth about his sexuality and that has the bonus of sending him home.

On top of everything he has serious anxiety problems and is dependant on meds to keep it under control so he can concentrate on his jobs. He really has no business being there, right down to his friends, who know he is submissive and also know he has an anxiety disorder go out of their way to protect him in various situations, thereby putting THEM in danger.

Unfortunately, despite the fact all of them hate this war,think its ridiculous, think its worthless blah blah blah, he has it stuck in his head that if he comes home he is abandoning them. Never mind having one less person to worry about and they do all worry is probably a good thing for them. Plus he can send them stuff from here and blah blah blah. But he's afraid that he'd be abandoning them, so despite the fact he knows that he doesnt belongtheir, and his strengths lie here in being a freaking teacher for middle schoolers (his dream) and bein my beloved pet and maybe hubby some day.

I just feel so frustrated, like my hands are tied i cant force this, i wish i could, but i know better then to force this. This one is not my choice. :sighs: Gah, i feel so frustrated sometimes. Maybe i'm being selfish - or maybe i just really dont want him to die when he doesnt even agree with nor believe in the war.

:sighs: Feeling a little at a loss.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 7:01:30 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		You arent being selfish......

Ive never had a sub, so no...I dont have a sub in Iraq. But I do have a Dom. And he is getting ready to ship back to Iraq for the 4th time. All in all he has served 7 combat tours and spent 24 total years in the Military. Im being selfish this time too. I dont want him to go back, I feel like he's paid his debt and he ought to be sitting a desk now instead of still hiking accross the worst parts of the desert with the 18 year old new recruits. Feeling like you are abandoning your fellow soldiers is a very very real fear. Its not sometehing he is alone in feeling. Even after serving for as long as my Sir has, he is almost insisting he get sent back to the front lines because he feels he snuck out the back door during his last tour over there. His son dies back here in the states and they shipped him back two months early. While he was home dealing with the loss of his son, the man who replaced him was shot and killed in a firefight. So to get over that feeling that he let his men down, he's pulling himself back out of retirement to serve one more tour because he feels it is something he needs to finish.

Now, as far as the anxiety disorder. You said he is on meds to control it. Where is he getting the meds while he is in Iraq? If he is going to his company's docs....they should already be working on paper to get him home. I just spent the weekend before last helping one of the soldiers in my Sirs platoon get all his paperwork together because as soon as the Army found out he needed meds for bipolar disorder they immediantly insisted he be medically discharged. Anytime a soldier is dependant on meds for behavioral issues, the Army considers them unfit for duty. There is no point in him causing himself to get a dishonorable discharge.

You never did mention branch of service, but if its Army feel free to message me on the other side of this site and I will gather some info for you that can help. Feel free to message me even if its not.....

ghita~

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 7:12:08 AM   
cbtok


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		Firstly, let me offer my heartfelt condolences to you and your pet. He is presently living in a war zone which is major stimulation followed by long periods of absolute boredom. The military runs his life and all he wants is that you run his life. You are over here and cannot get your needs met, he's over there and can't suffer for you like he craves.

Additionally, Iraq seems to have been made into a political "re-education camp" for the Republican party. They are told they're fighting a war on terror while all the time they're making the world a more dangerous for Americans (and themselves, foremost) to live in. You will find that your boy has been seriously reprogrammed when you get him back. And they'll send him back for more of the same until he has finally been mustered out or until he breaks, whichever comes first.

I deeply hope that, in light of GhitaAmati's comment that this thread generates a support group of sorts for CM members who have loved ones in Iraq. If I can do anything to help, I'd love to.


_____________________________

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 7:27:30 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ghita gave an excellent. All I would add is that him coming out may not send him home. I heard that a lot of men were doing that, even if they were straight, to try and get sent home. It was just decided that they were stay until no longer needed and then kicked out. It wouldn't be worth the hazing that might occur if he just going to be stuck there anyway. I would suggest making triple sure that he would be sent home before he does that.

My best thoughts are with you and yours.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cbtok)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 7:34:43 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		If you don't mind me asking.. why is your pet in the military if he has such issues?

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this now, and it seems like it would be prudent to have him pull out of the service.

To be honest, if he's that emotionally dependent, he shouldn't be in uniform.  Not an insult to him, just.. honestly, let's be realistic; it probably isn't good for someone like that.

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 12:39:53 PM   
toolhead005


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I just got back from a 15 month tour in Iraq... Try to not let the communication blackouts worry you too much, if someone you cared about was the injured person, you'd find out immediately. It is hard losing the ablility to call home for a few days, though.
Good luck to you both, and I hope he comes home soon, and safely. Message me if you need anything, I'll help out any way I can. We need all the support we can get :)



(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 12:43:37 PM   
cbtok


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

If you don't mind me asking.. why is your pet in the military if he has such issues?


We don't and cannot know how and when sachiaiko met him, either before or after his commitment or all of the reasons why he might have signed up. I am aware that, for some, the signup bonus is up to some $20,000, which is getting into the "down payment on a house" region for finances and that is pretty compelling.

I completely agree with AquaticSub. It would be very unwise for him to "come out" while overseas. He could forfeit his signing bonus, paid-for education, rehabilitation and many other advantages he is accruing. And a Dishonorable Discharge is the kind of thing that may make him utterly unemployable in the future. With an H.D. he can go to work (easily) as a teacher, for the USPS and many other civil service jobs that have pensions attached to them. With the D.D., he would have a very hard time realizing his dream.

Both of you need support, sachiaiko, as well as GhitaAmati and her Dom. You have my absolute best wishes and my full-hearted sympathy.

CuriousLord, I don't mean to flame your post but, these days, there are so many mitigating circumstances in peoples lives that one can never really know the whole story. I'd imagine sachiaiko's pet's anxiety problems are not necessarily due to issues created here in the US. Iraq is in a civil war where Americans are seen by both sides as invaders and occupiers. At least in Vietnam one side was ostensibly cooperating with the American presence even though one did not necessarily know which side a Vietnamese person was on.

_____________________________

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 1:39:47 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't know if My comments will help in any way or not.  I just want to throw in My support.
 
My boy's been to "the sandbox" as he puts it.  He wasn't My boy when he was there, but there's a good chance that he'll go again.  I'm totally with you on how you're feeling.  My husband's been overseas, too, though a different location.  I'm familiar with the communication blackouts and many of the other things you mentioned in your post.
 
In this instance, Hon, you're right.  You are not in control.  Mistress Military is calling the shots just now.  Believe Me.  I know.  At times it sucks. 
 
If it's any encouragement to you, there really are a lot of us out there.  More than you probably think.  It can be tough to spot us sometimes, cause at the family gatherings and whatnot, we look like all of the other wives, husbands, etc. at those types of deals, but we really are here.  Take My word for it.  Your pet isn't the only submissive in the (military) service. 

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to cbtok)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 2:12:16 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings sachiaiko,

i was going to post something a little similar last night, but i couldn't find the words. my dominant was in the military for a long time, got out, and spent a year in iraq before we got together. he is very seriously considering going back right now...and it's something i am struggling with although i know it's what he wants (the situation is a bit complicated and veers off in a different direction from your post, so i won't babble on about it here).

but i just wanted you to know that i sympathize and am thinking of you, and also that seeing this thread today after spending 30 minutes trying to type a thread last night has helped me :)

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 2:28:09 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your incredible support.

Thankfully, i'm the type to dive right into hard core research before i actually have him do anything potentially damaging. One of the things that is hard for me is that i feel like i should be protecting him, but i cant do that from where i am. Hell, i couldnt do it if i was there. I suffer a chronic pain disorder and am a cancer survivor, no way in hell they'd touch me with a ten foot pole :laughs: Thank god!! :grins at all of you: Hey, some hardships have their bonuses. The thing is, its actually a false statement the military is putting out there about being discharged for being gay. They are required to discharge you without taking your sexual preferences in to account so if you've had a good career, they will discharge you honorably. This, however, does mean that you cant tell them about your sexual romps with the same sex. lol. The correct way to do it is to contact a lawyer, and have them send a letter in tandem with your letter which says you have come out that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or tran. Do not talk about ANY sexual acts, etc, because those can be courtmarshaled. Then you do loose some of your rights. However, with theletters, they are required to keep it silent, they cant share with your fellows whats going on. A letter is all that is required, having a lawyer support you makes it clear there is a third person involved, that way they do not argue it or pretend it didnt happen. or "Loose" the paperwork, which is happening. It should take between 3 to 6 months to discharge some one for being gay or bisexual etc. If its done properly, and they should come out with honorable discharge and depending on their number of years of service they will even retain many benefits.

AS for Stuart, he was in the military when i met him. However they had "sworn" that he would NOT go to iraq, blah blah blah. Also they promised him school benefits etc etc etc Sadly, Something like 85 percent of school benefits are never claimed because its not actually ENOUGH to send some one to school on. So, in the first year you are a member of the military you go through paying 100 a month to qualify for school bennies. This basically means most of the men pay 1200 bucks, and never get their bennies, meaning they actually MAKE MONEY on this program rather then give it out. (Sick huh?) So he thought joining would set him up to make his dream happen - he wants to be a middle school science teacher, its his dreamn and well it really well describes his personality and soft-hearted nature if you catch what i mean. He doesnt Belong there.

As for the anxiety. When he joined, he'd had previous bouts of it but wasnt having any problems during the time he joined. Shortly after being sent to Iraq, low and behold, he stops being able to concentrate and the military doc puts him on meds. :sighs: His own description of what happens is that if he doesnt have his meds he gets so anxious that he cant concentrate on the task at hand. This is yet another reason why his fellow soldiers are spending extra time and attention making sure he's safe. Not only is he submissive, which they all know apparently, he's also anxious all the time, so they spend a lot of their energy looking out for him which puts THEM in danger, but he still panics that somehow looking out for them makes then work BETTER, like they have a reason to fight hard because they are trying to keep him safe, and honestly i think they are just trying to make him feel better.Like he's not a burden. All of them i am pretty certain would rather he be home sending them cookies and beer then out there in danger.

So, when i found out the school bennies wasnt really happening the way he thought, then they broke their word and sent him to Iraq, then his term of contract as only 6 years, i informed him ALL contracts are actually 8 years, not 6 its just another lie they tell to get you to sign up. Most everyone he knows was lied to when they joined up, and he just basically doesnt know what to do.

If we can get him out due to his anxiety, then we need to do that. Flat out we need to do it, i would rather it be that then the being gay, b ut the being bisexual thing at least i can protect him to a certain extent with lawyers etc. I already contacted one company who helps soldiers in this situation make sure they dont get harassed, outed to their fellows, and makes sure they DO get sent home when they come out. I set him up to talk with them, and he panicked again and now refuses to do it. I can only do so much, they told me if they talk to ME then i could be forced to testify against him cause the client is him, not me, and the info we share is not privilaged. So really i went as far as i could with it. I'm just having a hard time with it right now. He is a sweet, innocent, tender hearted man and i dont want him coming home fucked in the head, or missing a limb, or screaming and ducking everytime a car backfires, ya know?

Anyhow, the ONLY reasoon he says he's wanting to stay at this point is his guys. And i appreciate it, but i told him i'd support  him in sending them stuff every week, etc etc etc. He could be a support from here, ya know? Gah.

Anyhoot, thanks for all yer support, thanks for your info, and i am so sorry for those of you in the same boat as me. I think it is hard because as his Domme, i want to protect him, its my job. To nurture, push him to his limits, but he put his submission in my hands, and i need to value and respect and protect that and i feel like my hands are tied. I cant do that, and i wish i could. I wish i could force the issue, but i know if i did and some one he cared for died he'd never get over it. Its something he has to decide, and i hate feeling like i cant do anything. I'm screaming logic here, but it doesnt matter.

Oh, and the one other thing is his brother just recently got put in a news report - he's also in the military, so now its equally a dick waving contest. :Screams: Its just ridiculous!

Still at a loss,
Mistress Nikki

(in reply to cbtok)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 4:38:49 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		CBTOK: I wanted to restate my earlier comment about how it is a false bit of propaganda that says being discharged for being gay is a dishonorable discharge. It is not. If you come out in form of letter, not in the form of being "Caught" and admit to no sexual activity since being enlisted, you will be discharged as HONORABLE so long as your career stats warrent an honorable discharge. Dishonorable only happens when you have done something very wrong, and being GBLT is not that thing, since many folks believe its genetic, not a choice. In other words, the Military hasn't taken a stand AGAINST gays so much as they don't know what to do with them. They cant put gay guys together in the barraks, cause the idea is then straight folks will want to bunk with their partners. You cant put them in with their straight counterparts on the off chance that they will end up being harassed by the straight guy (HE keeps staring at me when i change, Sir!) or the other dirrection, they harass the straight counterpart. So rather then take a firm stand "ITS WRONG and if you come out its dishonorable, which is a felony, then you'll never get a job." They are doing more like this "We dont care if its right or wrong, we just dont know how to deal with it in our military force, where to bunk people, how to engage or interact with them. So we'll send you home if you come out. If you involve in homosexual activity and are caught, or talk about it, then we can courtmarashal you because its conduct unbecoming of an officer. etc etc etc."

So generally, when a soldier goes abot this the right way - they right a letter which says "I'm coming out as gay, i do not wish to hide who i am any more, the military has taught me how important it is to be honest with who i am and as such i feel it is against the very moral code taught to me here to continue hiding in the closet. i am awarethis means you will be required to send me home, and i expect this to be done with the confidentiality that is my right in the unitited states military. My lawyer (whatever the name is ) has a copy of my letter, and will be in contact with you right a way. Here is a third party letter from some one who knows and has heard me express the fact i am gay. Or the owner/councelor of a gay support group who can attest to my truthfulness." This type of thing, there isnt much they can do to retaliate. However, one thing they do is demand PROOF that the soldier is really gay. According to the law they do not have the right to ask for proof. Its a rock and a hard place, you provide proof and names of lovers then they can courtmarshal you for sleeping with the same sex whil you are in the service. The truth is you are not required to give proof, the bill is "Don't ask, DONT TELL" if you tell you are already on grounds for dismisal. Period. Involving third and fourth parties essentially make it impossible for them to "loose the paperwork" and ignore the isse which sometimes does happen when the person doesnt wanna send the soldier home for any particular reason. But when others are involved, they NEED To follow through or a big deal could be made out of it.

So, what this means is GAY does NOT = DISHONORABL DISCHARGE. Nor does it equal being outed to the rest of his squad. Confidentiality applies to this part.

I really wanted to make this clear because so many people are under the impression being discharged for being gay is equal to dishonoable discharge, which frightens them out of doing anything and causes more anxiety etc etc.

By the way, to the person who told me about the meds being reason enough - you're right. They should be discharging him for the meds all by itself. I just found that - is there anything i can do to push the issue? Is there anything HE can do to push the issue? If he goes to the shrink working with him and says how scared he is that his illness is gonna get some one killed would this start the process? Curious, let me know would you?

Thanks so much. 

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 4:56:10 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		sachiaiko - if your finances allow it, I would HIGHLY recommend consulting with a (civilian) attorney who specializes in military issues. The options are varied, given that he has medical issues as well as the sexual ones, as well as any contractual issues that have almost certainly not been fulfilled by the military. And the consequences, as CBTok says, are far-reaching -- his future benefits can vary greatly depending on what course he choses.

There's simply no chance whatsoever that he will get accurate information on his options where he is. He's also in no position to really push in any direction even if he knew which way to go.

Yes, ultimately the decision must be his, but you are the best person in the world to provide him with the accurate information that he needs to be able to make it wisely.

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 5:08:25 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		:nodnods: I have actually spoken to a civilian lawyer, and they are willing to talk to him. My finances are very low but i found a group of lawyers who basically donate som eof their time and resources to these issues . At any rate, they want to speak to him but he's backed out again. Half the time he's happy to come home to me, then half the time he's panicking about leaving. It really doesnt help that his brother, (who looks disturbingly similiar to him) just was put in a news report for being a great medic that supported some lost kid or what not. This happened just a few days ago, which flipped the switch to "I'm not leaving" again. It just keeps going back and fourth.

The thing is, My own heart really cant take much more of this. It IS very anxiety producing to be on this end of it as well as to be on his end of it, obviously for different reasons, right, but the fact his anxiety is causing him so much trouble is making me even more afraid. He has worse chances then a normal soldier due to having such a harder time concentrating. Gah.Dirves me nuts. We reallly got into a fight last night regarding the whole situation which of course now i feel bad about even more cause what happens if he gets hurt before i can talk to him again. And i'm freaked out that the paperwork didnt go through in regards to them notifying me if anything happens to him. I better email him abuot that again, just to be on the safe side. :sighs:

Blah. Rough day. Alla this stress is making me hurt worse, i really need to not be so panicked abot it cause its not good for my body or my pain management. :(

(in reply to obis)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 5:39:48 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		Nikki,

Please add me to the roster of people who support you in this difficult situation.

I hope your boy comes home safe and sound, and that you continue to heal yourself as well.

I know his loyalty to his buddies frustrates you.  Someone who hasn't served in the military cannot even begin to imagine the incredibly close bonds that develop between people in a unit.  In Henry V, Shakespeare coined the term "Band of Brothers", which has echoed through the centuries, most recently as the title of a TV mini-series about a company of WWII paratroopers.

Since words have failed me in an attempt to describe this brotherhood to you, instead I'll share Shakespeare's words with you:

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
    Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
    And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
    We would not die in that man's company
    That fears his fellowship to die with us.
    This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
    He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
    Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
    And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
    He that shall live this day, and see old age,
    Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
    And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
    Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
    And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
    Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
    But he'll remember, with advantages,
    What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
    Familiar in his mouth as household words-
    Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
    Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
    Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
    This story shall the good man teach his son;
    And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
    From this day to the ending of the world,
    But we in it shall be remembered-
    We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
    For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
    Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
    This day shall gentle his condition;
    And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
    Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
    And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
    That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day

< Message edited by AFlyInYourWeb -- 10/16/2007 5:46:13 PM >

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 5:45:46 PM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know your pet so I must assume a few things about him here. You do make it sound as though in many ways he is proud and content to be where he is and to be doing what he does. Yet you also make it sound as though him getting out is something you are pushing him to do and that it is you who is not content. I understand the situation and know firsthand that feelings that it can bring. It is something that is always difficult to cope with. I wish you all the best in coming to terms with this situation and hope you find mechanisms and people that will help you cope with his absence. Perhaps the best thing you can do for him right now is to support him and his seemingly apparent desire to remain in the military.  

_____________________________

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~Joseph W. Bean~

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 6:34:56 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you for your support. It is less his desire to remain in the military, that he really doesnt want to do, and more the desire not to abandon his comrades that pushes him, i believe They train you there so strongly that you follow your word, which is good, and i appreciate that, but what they do not take into consideration is that if your word was given under false pretenses one has every right to reevaluate the decision given new information. In other words, if you were lied to regarding your sign on bonuses and what not, then later find it was a lie, the word was given under duress, or dishonest circumstances. Mayhap had you all the information then you would have made a different decision. This bit of logic seems to fail everyone i know in the military when brought up, no matter how badly they were mislead, lied to, battered and used, they all share this same idea that keeping agreements made under durress is honorable. To me, it is the greatest of follies. :shrugs: Then again, i hate dishonesty, even more i hate usery. And both ofthose things are employed by our military and our government at this point in time.

Another consideration is this: If this was truly his dream, i'd have no choice but to support it because i support the dreams and desires of those i love and care for. However, this isn't his dream, in fact it is a distraction from his dream. He wants to be a teacher, but this is less and less likely to happen if he allows himself to get wounded, damaged, emotionally OR physically while being in a war he doesnt want to be in.. Let me break it down in a different way.

Say you had some one you loved, who really really wanted to run a marathon. it was their dream, and they worked their asses off to make it happen. They asked you to support them in this goal, in this dream, and suddenly one day you watch them kick the wall, claiming "This will make my feet stronger." You of course do the research and point out the likelihood that they break their feet if they keep kicking the wall every day. And they argue and say "No no, this will make me stronger." - Do you A, give up and let them do something which actually HARMS their dream and goals, because you dont wish to be at odds with said perosn, even though you agreed to support them. Or do you B. Push the topic and teach them why it isn't good for them to be doing, BECAUSE you promised that you would be a real support.

The actuallity of support often times looks much different then the appearance of support. One is genuine, the other is not. :shrugs: I'd rather be genuine..

(in reply to sundownhawk)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 6:47:25 PM   
HopeLost


Posts: 80
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline 		if he decides to get out dont do it with his sexuality. tell him to try for a personality disorder chapter. i cant remember exactly what its called. this way he will get an honorable discharge and full benefits. and it really doesnt stop you from getting a good job after.

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 7:37:28 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		HopeLost:

:sighs: Neither does the sexuality one, Hon. Read my afore mentioned info. That is a false bit of propaganda they are distributing among the troops that being discharged for coming out means dishonorable discharge. It doesn't.

Thanks fer yer support though, it means a lot to be supported when going through this kinda stuff.

(in reply to HopeLost)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/16/2007 11:56:02 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yes, I've had a lot of reason recently to become better versed on "Don't ask, don't tell".  You'd be amazed at what is in there.  That goes for a lot of things that are under the BDSM umbrella and not just restricted to sexual preference.  The key in walking this fine line, as some already know, is it is not who you are, but what activity is engaged in.  It doesn't just involve same sex relations.  It also covers things like whether or not My boy engages in a session, and comes back with marks.  That's where the dishonorable discharge comes into play.  Prefering the same sex doesn't mandate it.  Having same sex relations is another matter.  It's a good idea to be informed on exactly what the UCMJ is and working within those lines.
 
Now, the anxiety is another matter.  Get familiar with the medications and see where they fall within regulations on whether or not he is really fit for duty.  Certain meds are looked at differently than others.  For example, the medications My boy is on don't prevent My boy from being deployed, because he still has the ability to function without them.  There's the rub.  It goes back to what he is able to do or not do.  If your pet is having actual anxiety attacks during duty, you've got a lot more to work with.  Even if he is back on the other side of the fence about coming back, start having him document any attacks he is having or anything related to him not being able execute his duties.
 
I'm going to tell you now that you are not going to win the battle about the way he feels about the other folks in his unit.  It's just not going to happen.  If he leaves, he knows he leaves them there, and that's going to be rough should he make the decision to work on coming home.  In fact, you'll be dealing with it the moment he comes back (early or not) and that has a lot tied up in it.  Your pet knows what is happening to his comrades.  The danger they face and the possibility that they might be killed in action.  That's a big deal.  All I'm saying on that is, be prepared for it coming.  There's lots of work to do.
 
The military has made some good advances on the realization on the effects of what happens at home in regard to those who serve away.  Your own anxiety and medical issues do play a part in this.  (Believe Me, I know this one.)  There's a lot tied into his reactions to what goes on in your life.  It plays a major role.  It's hard to steer your energy in the way that is in his best interest.  I'm going to maybe ask you to remember what you said in your own words about protecting him, and think about it a bit.  Part of protecting him is doing what needs to be done and relieving him of extra worry.  Hard to do, but it has it's place.
 
Again, let Me extend the invitation to contact Me on the other side.  Will be happy to provide any assistance or support you might need.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Pets in Iraq - 10/17/2007 2:55:43 PM   
cbtok


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		I'm wondering if we could petition the Moderators to please create a new community for Iraq-Afghanistan-Overseas?

_____________________________

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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