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Squeakers -> RE: Sweating the small stuff !! (10/16/2007 4:52:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: missturbation
I'm not and have never been the kind of person who 'sweats the small stuff'. Just recently though many threads in this forum have me wondering if im alone in what i actually do class as the 'small stuff' !!
I know we are all different and all have different need's etc, but i'm beginning to think that if i did a poll of all the different things i don't need, i would be just about the only person who needs none of them.
Respect - i don't feel i need Sir to respect me in any way.
Love - i don't need Sir to love me.
Collar - i don't need to be collared.
Relationship - i don't need to be His partner, g/f, wife etc.
Contact - i don't need contact every day or even every other day for that matter.
Safewords - i don't need them.
Limits - i don't need them.
To me these are all little things and i may want some of them but don't need them, and don't worry about them in any way. Well except for now lol when i'm feeling just a little bit too much over the edge of what is normal to class as 'small stuff'.
So i guess really i'm just curious to know if others share my 'don't sweat the small stuff' philosophy and if you do what you class as the small stuff?
I've read through most of the replies and I have been sort of thinking about a similar post myself so I'll reply. Respect and love, it seems like I have always had it so I am not sure if it's a need or a want. I am not sure if I could be content with out them because it has always been there. We are friends, I consider myself his partner and girlfriend, I really do not need to be a wife, a partner or a girl friend but I truly want to maintain the friendship for a lifetime. I think I even need the friendship part simply because it was estabilished first. A collar is sort of a symbol, do not need one. The people are the foundation of the relationship not the symbol. I guess the invention of the velcro collar has sort of made a collar, a lesser priority for me. First and foremost, I know that I can survive without a committed relationship. I know that forever is a long long time, life can throw a curveball and things can change. The important part is knowing I can survive a change in my current relationship. If we wind up staying together until we are gray and the welts and wrinkles on my ass can not be seperated and look the same, that's great, if not, I will survive. I can still have a fullfilled and content life. Why worry about it now and cause face wrinkles and premature white hair?
I do not need contact every day or every week. I am pretty secure in our relationship and if we are not able to speak every day or every week, I do not wonder what he is doing or where he is or to whom he is with or speaking. I simply enjoy the times that we have and would not care to share those times with anyone else.
Safewords and limits, well I do not feel I need them either. We communicate in and out of a scene. He knows my moral limits and I know they will not be crossed. During a scene, he asks how I am doing and I tell him honestly. I never assume that I must take a little more because I think that is what he may want. If he wants me to take a little more, he will tell me, if I feel I can take a little more I will let him know that I feel I can endure more.
I do not dwell on these issues. Sometimes, there are just more important things for me to think about than worry about these small things. So misstrubation, I guess I understand what you are say in my own way. I do not feel I have settled but if I have in someway settled, that is fine because I am happily settled and I would not want to be settled in any other way. I guess it is more that I detest worry. I detest stress. I am in no way religious but the I love that poem about granting the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I also add if it works for me but goes against the 'norm' is there a need to change it. In most cases, no. I know I go against the 'norm' and I am content there. Screw those who think that I am wrong, I have my contentment.
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