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Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 8:22:07 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

My question to the dominants or dommes etc would you submit while having sex if your partner is good at sex? or would you prefer to keep control on what happens? How many would also consider this a sign of weakness?

Reason being is i've slept with three mistress and the first time they take control in the bedroom but I ask to just let me have freedom to do what I want with sex atleast once and then I find in future they just submit and give me total control while having sex.

Post #: 1

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 9:14:55 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am reading that you are of the mindset that wether their laying back and enjoying you, pleasuring them, is a submissive act?

If so, how?

The reason I ask is that if they wish it to be so, then they are still dominant. If the submissive has not demanded it to be this way, then the submissive is still complying with the dominant's wishes, no?

The reason I pose it this way is that for me, I feel very dominant and desired when just laying back and allowing someone to have their entire focus on pleasing me. Their whole being is focusing on me and my pleasure.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/12/2007 9:17:36 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 2

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 9:26:48 AM

FyreAngel

Posts: 55
Status: offline

To add to what LaTigress said.......... isnt that one of the main points when for a submissive? Their entire focus on pleasing their Mistress/Master in whatever way they can? You are providing a service.........

Maybe its a compliment? Your Mistresses think you do such a good job they want you to do it over and over? Submission isnt about bedroom sex. (ok for some it is) Submission is about submitting to the desires and whims of ones Owners. Pretty much, you're doing excatly what you should be doing. Except thanking your Mistress for allowing you the pleasure of serving her.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 3

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 9:58:37 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

You are a submissive. Why are you asking them to let you take control????

(in reply to FyreAngel)

Post #: 4

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 10:17:47 AM

sundownhawk

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline

Even if she is on top, she is still the bottom and there by my will.

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The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~Joseph W. Bean~

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 5

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 10:24:38 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

After all it is all about me and when I want her on top there she is and when I am in my punish and Master mood its face down and ass up..Like some one said it matters not what position he/she is in they are there because you as a Dom wish them there...

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to sundownhawk)

Post #: 6

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 3:41:24 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I guess I'm assuming "having sex" means intercourse and you in the giving position. Try not to get bogged down on roles and activities as much as how you feel and who really has the control. Dommes are human. They can enjoy sex and still be Dommes. In fact, they can enjoy a myriad of other things one might label "submissive activities" and still be very much in control.
l

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 7

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 3:59:17 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Being active and allowed a long leash isn't the same as being in control.

As well, being in direct control of some things at some times does not mean you have the authority, it means you've been given extra privileges.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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Post #: 8

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 5:43:16 PM

Arach

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/1/2004
Status: offline

OK, This may seem rude, and some may object to my take here, but if I read correctly, this sort of comes across as, "Once they let me do my thing, I am so fucking good that they submit to me ever after."

Arach

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 9

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 5:59:55 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

If a domme is actually allowing you to fuck her, and you are good enough to be asked twice, be pleased. I am very content to lie back and be entertained, and to have certain things done to me which could be seen as "submissive". I am still the domme. If I bring my slave a drink, I am still the domme. If I get sick and spend the day in bed with a fever, I am still the domme.

Get it?

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Arach)

Post #: 10

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 6:05:43 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arach

OK, This may seem rude, and some may object to my take here, but if I read correctly, this sort of comes across as, "Once they let me do my thing, I am so fucking good that they submit to me ever after."

Arach

LOL! That got me lauging..
To the OP
I had a good think on this one since I sleep with a switch....but I'm still the one who decides who is on which side on whatever night. And hell, if you really think about it, the one "on top" during sex is the one doing all the work.. I like when he works for my pleasure. Its the same as when I need a little pain to get me going, I say when to bite and I say where to bite and I say how hard to bite, he follows my direction.

Psy

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to Arach)

Post #: 11

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 6:07:16 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

My question to the dominants or dommes etc would you submit while having sex if your partner is good at sex? or would you prefer to keep control on what happens? How many would also consider this a sign of weakness?

Reason being is i've slept with three mistress and the first time they take control in the bedroom but I ask to just let me have freedom to do what I want with sex atleast once and then I find in future they just submit and give me total control while having sex.

Being submissive in bed has the sex appeal of humping a lamp post. And since I'm not there to service the sub, what do I care?

So, no. It wouldn't happen with me.

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 12

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 6:56:15 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

Letting you give them want they want is control-how?

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(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 13

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 9:23:04 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

My question to the dominants or dommes etc would you submit while having sex if your partner is good at sex? or would you prefer to keep control on what happens? How many would also consider this a sign of weakness?

I don't consider submission a sign of weakness at all. It actually takes quite a bit more guts for me to submit than to dominate... but then, I'm a versatile top, so... *shrug*

As for a partner dominating me... if they have the cajones to be able to do it, hawt!

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 14

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 9:24:27 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Just because my dominant lets me do as I wish sometimes, does not mean that he's not in control. He's allowing me to do as I wish. Yanno, sometimes they don't want to have to direct every freakin thing.

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Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 15

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 9:57:48 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I am a Domme. I do not switch. That doesn't change the fact that I occasionally like my boy to pounce me. Am I less Dominant for wanting him to aggressively pursue what we both want? Hell no. I'm also no less Dominant for my Hello Kitty fixation. (Or maybe I am, but try saying that while I hold a sharp implement!)

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 16

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/12/2007 10:29:26 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I'm also no less Dominant for my Hello Kitty fixation. (Or maybe I am, but try saying that while I hold a sharp implement!)

Here, here, sistah!

I'm actually trying to see if I can get some Hello Kitty duct tape printed for a mentor of mine for christmas. ^_^

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 17

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/13/2007 7:12:10 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Just because my dominant lets me do as I wish sometimes, does not mean that he's not in control. He's allowing me to do as I wish. Yanno, sometimes they don't want to have to direct every freakin thing.

my point exactly

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 18

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/13/2007 8:12:08 AM

taintedgypsy

Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Hell the Dominant deserves to just lay back and enjoy occassionally ... a lot of planning can go into a scene, and then there is all that heavy flogging labour ... occassionally it can be nice to just say "go for it girl" just because he is not activly dirrectig does not mean he is not in control ... quickly demonstrated should he change his mind half way through and you find yourself suddenly face down arse up lol. Should I ever sugest that this means he is submissive to me I am sure when he finished laughing he would find a way to show me the error of my ways...

oh on a personal point ... what is the purpose of having a hormonal overloaded redhead in your bed if you are not going to occassional just lay back and enjoy the heat of letting her burn undirected ... I am sure that is half his fun lol.

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: Sex and dominating - 10/13/2007 3:57:17 PM

Siona

Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arach

OK, This may seem rude, and some may object to my take here, but if I read correctly, this sort of comes across as, "Once they let me do my thing, I am so fucking good that they submit to me ever after."

Arach

My thoughts exactly.

(in reply to Arach)

Post #: 20

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