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Lumus -> RE: Sex and dominating (10/15/2007 6:05:35 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: imtempting
My question to the dominants or dommes etc would you submit while having sex if your partner is good at sex? or would you prefer to keep control on what happens? How many would also consider this a sign of weakness?
Reason being is i've slept with three mistress and the first time they take control in the bedroom but I ask to just let me have freedom to do what I want with sex atleast once and then I find in future they just submit and give me total control while having sex.
Whatever floats one's boat. If a few find the labels bandied about inappropriate, I have to shrug, because labels only have to mean what you want them to. By that same token, you're not always right or wrong. [:D]
To address the questions put forth directly:
I let a curious sub try to dominate me once. She gave up in about five minutes. I was held down and couldn't stop laughing. My nature is to become more aggressive and defiant in direct proportion to the challenge presented until I break it or realize I'm not going to...I don't view submission as a weakness at all, perceptually letting someone perform well sexually on me is something different entirely [as has been already voiced].
Related, in a tangental way...a sub [so she claimed, I suspect she was a 'topper from the bottom'] once told me I wouldn't be a good Dom until I had learned to submit, to understand submissives better. I responded something like this [I doubt verbatim, but the essence is there]:
"What in the hell ever gave you the idea that I've never submitted? Submission, as a generalization, may be viewed as accepting loss of control. I have control freak tendencies, yes; but I don't always 'win'. I didn't pass every test; didn't attract the prettiest girls at school; didn't get every job I wanted. I didn't have perfect relationships with my family, my friends, or my lovers. To top it all off, I'm going to die one day - try controlling that genetic quirk! There are things I have given into and accepted in every facet of my life. I've known defeat. I've learned that sometimes it's better to accede than struggle. I appreciate that all too well, and have done my bugger best to learn from it every time. Submission can make you stronger and wiser. I respect submission for what it is, and because of my nature yes, I value it."
She replied:
"ur 2 wurdy k bye" [Now -that- part is verbatim.]
*sigh*
Still, you get the gist, yes? Some might not agree with it. *shrugs* Oh well. They don't have to. This is just my warped view. [;)]
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