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RE: Overcoming being a submissive person. HELP! - 10/14/2007 9:30:30 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
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quote:

Is it unheard of for a submissive person to enter into BDSM (D/s) to learn how to not EMBRACE that submissive state of who they are but to OVERCOME that they are submissive?

It is rare, certainly. Human invention and determination being what they are, however, it is quite possible.

However, I would counsel against such an effort. Power and strength come from knowing and accepting yourself, however that is. A submissive is not a weak person--quite the contrary.

If your true self is a submissive self, seek out the strength it holds, and learn how to harness it for all parts of daily living.

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RE: Overcoming being a submissive person. HELP! - 10/14/2007 5:00:53 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

mmmmmmmmm seems to me you need to learn what the distinction of being a strong healthy submissive person is and being a weak insecure person is. The two are very different.... and it can be even worse if the weak insecure person also happens to be submissive.

I tend to agree with this line of thinking in this thread.

Personally, I define submission and dominance as parts of the self, an orientation and identity and thats about all the definition I put to them.

Actions are ways we CHOOSE to express these parts of us, but the parts themselves dont choose our actions for us.

If I were to say that I couldnt stop bossing people around, giving them orders, and telling them what to do because of the fact that I am dominant, I can safely say most people will find that silly and tell me that I am just an asshole making excuses.

Some people like to associate personality traits with it. I dont agree with that and consider it to be generalizations. Dominants arent "uberly confident" because they are, in fact, dominant. They worked to develop self confidence because it was a neccessity for them to be a successful dominant.

You dont have issues because your submissive. You just have issues and you need to stop trying to shift the focus onto some generalized stereotype you have created for yourself

What did people do before they discovered these labels to shift the blame for their faults to? Why does "I'm shy" suddenly magically transform to "I'm shy because I am submissive"?

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/14/2007 5:03:34 PM >

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RE: Overcoming being a submissive person. HELP! - 10/14/2007 9:05:45 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
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quote:

So..again i ask... Is it unheard of for a submissive person to enter into BDSM (D/s) to learn how to not EMBRACE that submissive state of who they are but to OVERCOME that they are submissive?

I am unfortunately a doormat pleaser that gets walked all over. I think Master helps me automatically because he is the opposite- as my submissive nature spills into areas where it is detrimental, his dominant nature spills over into most areas of his life as well. Just being with him and trying to please him in a way molds me into being like him. When I got my job, Master automatically asked "how did you negotiate your salary"- I would be 100% incpable of negotiating a salary so I do not get taken advantage of without someone to set an example for me and remind me of its importance.

(in reply to Dari)

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