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RE: complain about your family here - 10/12/2007 7:53:37 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline 		Trust me, I know exactly how you feel and nobody who has not lived it cannot really pass confident comment on it. Most will see it as ''well YOU can do something to fix it. YOU can call or arrive at a better time. YOU can notify well in advance.'' All that does is put the onus on you and NOT the so called family. Believe it or not people some families want it all their way or the highway. It isn't on me to change my behavior to suit anyone including my mother. There is a warp their that is not our fault.

I bet your gram is a lovely lady and if you both feel the same then it goes to show that it isn't you, not that knowing that helps one bit. We can logically know it all and emotionally understand none of it.

Be Well,

EG

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: complain about your family here - 10/12/2007 8:12:00 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		well, I can choose between the ones that are crazy, the ones that have substance abuse problems, or the ones that are dead that were both.

it's a miracle some of us get out of childhood alive...

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: complain about your family here - 10/12/2007 8:20:09 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

- why is it I am "always" calling at a bad time?  maybe i have no life???  i see no point in a 12 hour drive to be; arriving "at a bad time". 

^screams^


i phoned my gram this morning. she feels abandoned too. i have to watch my step as her memory is fickle. she is a lovely person tho. :-)

anyhow- it stil;l burns me that the general family is too busy so much of the time. i could scream


Want to borrow mine?  I'm sure they would appreciate the attention, but keep track of your wallet.
l

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: complain about your family here - 10/12/2007 8:58:34 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

well, I can choose between the ones that are crazy, the ones that have substance abuse problems, or the ones that are dead that were both.

it's a miracle some of us get out of childhood alive...


Are we related????

Be Well,

EG

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: complain about your family here - 10/13/2007 6:41:58 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

- why is it I am "always" calling at a bad time?  maybe i have no life???  i see no point in a 12 hour drive to be; arriving "at a bad time". 

^screams^


i phoned my gram this morning. she feels abandoned too. i have to watch my step as her memory is fickle. she is a lovely person tho. :-)

anyhow- it stil;l burns me that the general family is too busy so much of the time. i could scream


Want to borrow mine?  I'm sure they would appreciate the attention, but keep track of your wallet.
l


jumps.  NO.  this house is costing me and arm and a leg. the wallet is spent into 2099

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: complain about your family here - 10/13/2007 9:00:13 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		my dads not long for this world and his wife (not my mom) makes it impossible for me to see him - unless of course it is to take him to the doctors which i have bowed out gracefully from doing.  5 siblings and not one i care to have anything to do with (all alcoholics and drug abusers - only one in recovery and now that hes married he doesn't have the time of day for me).  All it means to be family is you share genetics - doesn't mean you have to have them a part of your life.

This holiday i will be a sort of surrogate mom to 2 kids who's own "family" disowned them when these two kids got together and she got pregnant.  For the life of me i can't undertand abandoning your own kids, especially when they need you the most.  i try to keep and open mind and realize i don't have their side of the story.  Meanwhile they need the help, a babys life is in the balance and someone needs to do something. 

So family is what you make of it!

< Message edited by velvetears -- 10/13/2007 9:01:10 AM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: complain about your family here - 10/13/2007 9:07:16 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel and nobody who has not lived it cannot really pass confident comment on it. Most will see it as ''well YOU can do something to fix it. YOU can call or arrive at a better time. YOU can notify well in advance.'' All that does is put the onus on you and NOT the so called family. Believe it or not people some families want it all their way or the highway. It isn't on me to change my behavior to suit anyone including my mother. There is a warp their that is not our fault.

I bet your gram is a lovely lady and if you both feel the same then it goes to show that it isn't you, not that knowing that helps one bit. We can logically know it all and emotionally understand none of it.

Be Well,
EG


bingo-  thanks hun!  :-)

(in reply to EvilGenie)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: complain about your family here - 10/13/2007 8:20:55 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel and nobody who has not lived it cannot really pass confident comment on it. Most will see it as ''well YOU can do something to fix it. YOU can call or arrive at a better time. YOU can notify well in advance.'' All that does is put the onus on you and NOT the so called family. Believe it or not people some families want it all their way or the highway. It isn't on me to change my behavior to suit anyone including my mother. There is a warp their that is not our fault.

I bet your gram is a lovely lady and if you both feel the same then it goes to show that it isn't you, not that knowing that helps one bit. We can logically know it all and emotionally understand none of it.

Be Well,
EG


bingo-  thanks hun!  :-)


ANYTIME sweetie and I sincerely mean that!

EG

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: complain about your family here - 10/13/2007 9:02:00 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		My mother's family is right wing southern baptist republicans who are NOT openminded; heaven fordid I do or something 'not christian' or I talk bad about the monkey in office; no wonder my sister moved to Texas, since she isn't talking to my mother [I live with my mother] my house is a 'joy;' my mother looked over mys houlder and found out that my sister an I have been talking on facebook to eachother, its gonna be a logn long holiday season.
 
How many days til the next presidential election??? Think I can fake a migraine to get out of Thanksgiving??!! 

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: complain about your family here - 10/14/2007 9:46:44 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I wish mom would be done with her Chicago escapade- and come back to Pennsylvania! 

we live longer here.  she aint coming back. sob. 1st my brother, then my sister, now mom. 

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: complain about your family here - 10/14/2007 4:55:03 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

I wish mom would be done with her Chicago escapade- and come back to Pennsylvania! 

we live longer here.  she aint coming back. sob. 1st my brother, then my sister, now mom. 


Stop wishing honey and start living. They chose their path and you have yours. Wishing will get you exactly nowhere quickly and keep you in your tracks instead of moving ahead.

I chose in 1999 to leave the USA, so I did with no intention of ever coming back. Circumstances forced me back but not for long! I cannot survive here the way I wish to and I certainly cannot have a life if I remain here. My parents (mother) have PLENTY of money, extended family and are not my obligation as I used to think. I imposed that upon myself through a lifetime of guilt. Time for me to shake it off and have a life finally at 44. I never came first. I thought that to be selfish until I turned around one day at 36 and realized I had had no life of my own making that was happy. I found my way to do that and have a spectacular husband and the most loving extended family.

I say, go out and make a family! Gather good friends, trustworthy and loyal people and have the family that YOU want! I was adopted at birth so I cannot even blame genetics. At the end of the day and at a certain age it becomes our job to create the world in which we wish to live. Just do it! Harder than it sounds? You bet your sweet ever loving ass but worth it? Goddamned Right!!!! I don't want to be old, look back over my life and realize I didn't have one. Now THAT gives me the terrors and is a great motivator.

Be Well All,

EG

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: complain about your family here - 10/14/2007 5:05:17 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		thats my only choice. i was thinking of throwing a dinner around christmas. certainly,im not waiting for ----------------------------------------------  ya stop waiting. i been feverishly trying to get my house toggether.  i just bought it in april.        thanks so much! :-)

(in reply to EvilGenie)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: complain about your family here - 10/14/2007 5:11:41 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

*drags out familial soap box*
My mother thought that, at 29, I should have a CURFEW if I lived with her! Because "Vegas is a dangerous place"
And now that I live on my own, she calls about every other day to make sure I am alive, and in one piece.

**tucks away soap box**
Ahh, i feel better now.

DV



lol-mine did that when i was 25 and lived with her, with my son.  i accepted it.....her house, her rules....door opened both ways.....

my son is 19 and still living with me-and he can stay as long as he wants to-but it will be my rules, which are...pay your cheap rent on time and you are to be somewhere for the night before my bedtime so i can sleep and not worry......either here or a someone elses house where i can know youre safe for the night....and i go to bed early because i get up at 4 am....

he has never questioned it either.....i told him i loved him and if the rules were too much, he could move somewhere he made the rules......

the one thing i know for sure about parents is....no matter how crazy they drive you, you miss them when theyre gone.......

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: complain about your family here - 10/14/2007 5:57:55 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

thats my only choice. i was thinking of throwing a dinner around christmas. certainly,im not waiting for ----------------------------------------------  ya stop waiting. i been feverishly trying to get my house toggether.  i just bought it in april.        thanks so much! :-)


Send me a CM message if you would please?

Thanks a Million!

EG

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: complain about your family here - 10/19/2007 4:59:54 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I called my gram yesderday. She is a sweety.  :-)

I told her- I would like to have her over around Christmas for some pastries, and coffee.  :-D

(in reply to EvilGenie)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: complain about your family here - 10/19/2007 5:05:05 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I must be the luckiest person here. I adore My Mum and Dad. They're elderly, insane, Mum tells me constantly about her ailments, Dad has Alzheimers and I thank the Goddess every day that I still have them today. I don't look to far ahead, I just enjoy them on a daily basis, cuz I don't know how long I'll have them.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: complain about your family here - 10/19/2007 5:16:10 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		dementia/alsheimrs is terrible.  gram has dementia. it seems stable for now.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: complain about your family here - 10/19/2007 6:18:24 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		My family is great.  I know I am lucky.  They pretty much don't intrude in my life and they are supportive.  They are also kind and generous to my um's.  Plus they let me borrow their 4-wheel drive SUV's when the snow/ice is bad.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: complain about your family here - 10/29/2007 3:55:06 AM   
sweetestnettles


Posts: 25
Joined: 10/8/2007
From: Sydney
Status: offline 		my father is an emotional cripple who is possibly the most selfish man I've met; no wonder I have trust issues with men lol. My mother is a constant worrier and nagger and unfortunately, I fear I'll end up just like her. Although thankfully, hopefully, I will not marry a man like my father. Fingers crossed.

_____________________________

~I must be spoiled and rotten
Cause no one else will ever do
Don't you forget, I get what I want
All I want is you~

owned&loved by my Daddy&Master

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: complain about your family here - 10/29/2007 5:25:28 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		All of my family are dead.....

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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