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sub48male -> hello world (10/8/2007 2:42:14 PM)
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I appear invisible in the way of nondescript middle-aged men, dressing casually without standing out, and tending to behave in calm and normal ways when out in public among others. It is not by conscious choice that I blend in, but due to inward focus, meaning I am forgetful of image and would not think it matters how I dress unless in a particular situation where making a certain type of impression was important. Working for myself from home doesn't bring me into many situations like that. And I rarely socialize, in large part because of an abiding assumption that more than a passing acquaintance would reveal unwanted aspects of my personality, including what some would call sexual deviation, but I prefer to consider not all that abnormal.
I have submissive intentions, but so far no actual experience. I read about D/s online. I identify with stories I have read in which the person plays the submissive role. I have thought about the desires I have, akin to cravings, and submissiveness seems pretty much accurate. I fantasize about being submissive sexually. I fantasize about a relationship based on that. So far I have not met or spoken with anyone who has real experience in this regard.
My sexual orientation is bisexual in the sense I am drawn to men physically for sex. Any romantic feelings I have are for women, towards whom I am also drawn sexually. I have had a fair amount of sexual experiences with women and only a few encounters with men. I fantasize about submitting to men. I also fantasize about dominant women but frankly, somehow dominance seems less sexy in women than in men, from my view. Women seem sexier to me as submissive or on an equal footing. For a woman to be exciting to me on the dominant side of things she would have to be truly that way, on a par with a man. Men seem sexy to me when they want to get off and they take charge and take what they want. As a man that is how I feel sexy myself when I am with a woman. So in a way I suppose I feel submissive towards men the same way I like women to be submissive with me. If this sounds a bit confused, it is, because I am just starting out with it all, feeling my way as I go.
In concrete terms I could express my desires as things I want to try. But for the purposes of this introduction, saying who I am, it is enough to say I am intensely curious about these submissive cravings I have. I am very open and willing to meet with people.
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