RE: Never thought being trusted would bother me

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RE: Never thought being trusted would bother me - 10/10/2007 6:51:55 PM

Kirata

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It is an attitude born of long experience with human nature. And granted all you say in your post here, it obviously still bothers you that he let's you do it and just "trusts" you, even though he really can.

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

How do I say, "It bothers me that you trust me" without seeming like I'm not trustworthy?

I guessed in a previous post that his trust would not trouble you as much without this component, and I still think so. Why? Because it's human nature. But, just my opinion.

Be well,

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 10/10/2007 6:54:58 PM >

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RE: Never thought being trusted would bother me - 10/11/2007 9:57:25 AM

goodgirl85

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Kirata,
Do you not understand the fact the ONLY reason it bothers me is because my past relationships have emotionally abusive? That I haven't had this kind of trust before, so I am having a problem with it. He also wants more from than sex, he wants my mind and body and that's something I'm not used to. Does that make me a whore in your eyes, as well as untrustworthy?

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RE: Never thought being trusted would bother me - 10/11/2007 10:03:13 AM

goodgirl85

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To everyone else,

Thank you so much for you advice. I did tell him, granted I took the chicken's way out and wrote him an email. However, he made me talk about it with him after he read it. He was a little confused at first. Explained to me (yet again) that he does not micromanage, and all that wonderful stuff. He was very understanding about it all actually. And when I told him that I wasn't even going to tell him, but thought better of it, He told me he was glad I did and that he wants me to talk about things like this with him, when they arise.... I in reply asked him how God was doing, because someone as perfect as him must be an angel. (yes he has his flaws, but no major ones, and we just mesh so well together, that in my eyes he is perfect)

girl

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RE: Never thought being trusted would bother me - 10/11/2007 10:18:02 AM

nyrisa

Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
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I am glad the talk worked out well for you, goodgirl. Perhaps it is not so much a matter of trust, as just needing to feel the security of a little snugness on the leash? I have often thought of myself as being sort of like a kite. I can fly to great heights, and swoop and spiral, and feel gloriously free.....as long as I have a strong anchor. If the string were to be dropped, like a kite, I would tailspin and quickly fall (emotionally). If I begin to feel insecure, it only takes a firm pull to draw up a little slack, and then I can fly smoothly. Maybe that is all you need, is to feel that the connecting line is being held snug at all times, even when work and distance stand between.

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

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RE: Never thought being trusted would bother me - 10/12/2007 6:37:47 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

Do you not understand the fact the ONLY reason it bothers me is because my past relationships have emotionally abusive? That I haven't had this kind of trust before, so I am having a problem with it.

I believe you believe that, but I'm not so confident of it. Trusting and accepting trust is fraught with its own issues, regardless of a person's history.

K.

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Post #: 25