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Yeah, welcome to an increasingly M/s-sort-of dynamic.  It sounds pretty much like you're getting well into the D/s part.. where you're still quite seperate, though you're starting to trust him not to violate the limits you've set up.

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It seems that probably part of the "freedom" you feel is that you've made the assumption that he'll not violate you.  That are no longer constrained to a position in which you must watch and police him; that, now, you can experience a dynamic, in whatever form it may take, without the paraniod concern of constantly moniterring and analyzing your mate.. a task which must've been particularly exhaustive and stressful for one with OCD.

You hit the nail on the head. It's hoped that with me giving total control to him, that I can finally relax.

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The relationship you're currently experiencing is, in my choice of nomenclature, D/s.  I do wonder if the dynamic will continue to evolve into M/s, or if this state might maintain itself, or if it won't work out in the end.  Regardless of my people-watching plondering, though, I hope you, if nothing else, find bliss ends.

I think I failed to mention that we're giving the whole slave thing a test run. Just for the weekend. See how I do..ectectect. It has to be handed to me in baby steps. Otherwise, I'm off like The Flash.
And thank you again, I'm sure I'll have a blasty.

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everyone is new to the lifestyle in some form. Most people did not get into this until the internet and media promoted it. Of course they are going to say no. But how stupid is that proof is in the pudding. You can always tell someone of experince by not what they say but in what in they do. Past will always dictate the future. For example someone who has been married more then three times. Did not grow from the first time. Someone that has tons of collars has issues. In most cases people are looking for a  solid person who respects them. That is not rocket science.  I guess the best thing is always take your time. everyones path is different. One of my pet peves are when people tell you how much your like someone else. IN reality they are only seeing the points in you, in which that last person had. They never get to know you So getting to know you is half the battle and that is what is all about.  

I've actually been very interested in this lifestyle since I was a wee lass (of about 16) I couldnt however pursue it fully  until I did all the research.  I can't jump into someting of this caliber until I've cross and trippled checked all the facts, opinions, stats ectect... -shrugs- I'm glad for the internet and media, otherwise how would I find nformation?
Solid is good. I suppose, but  there's something to be said for sporadic...I'll take a happy middle.
Thank you.



_____________________________

Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

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Just because one CAN do something, doesn’t mean that they WILL do something.

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ORIGINAL: pseudopsychotic

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People don’t hurt me because I don’t “allow” them to hurt me, I don’t give them the chance. That’s not trust in them, that’s trust in my self-protection.

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ORIGINAL: pseudopsychotic




“My trust in you went haywire”
This is what I said to him.
We’re going to  Tarantino this a bit to make it more interesting.

“My trust in you went haywire”
Now, let’s travel back in time and see why I said this.



Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.


We decided to let me try my hand at being a slave. Now I say to him..”Yes Sir sounds fun.”
Obviously not knowing what I was getting myself  into.
He goes on to say such things like: I will do with you what I want..ectectect.
Again, I’m fine with this because I trust him.
But at this time, my definition of trust was a bit asked.
How to word this..Umm..I trusted him to follow my rules. My hard limits that I previously set up. ’Because it was MY doing, he had a “law” to follow and I felt safe in him knowing this law.
I trusted him but only because I had said “law.” I had rules.
But say..We take all laws away. I become his slave and therefore his property. I have no rights.
I sorta flipped.
No way…No way am I going down there so you can use me at your will, because if I agree to this, this having of the no rights, I am no longer safe and because you say you want to take all rights from me, I therefore lose trust in you.
“My trust in you went haywire”

But again, my definition of trust was very shaky
And he helped me to see that. Just because one CAN do something, doesn’t mean that they WILL do something.
That, I've come to learn is the point of this whole act, this new step we're taking. He wants me to open myself completely to him.
To really trust him.
To let him roam free  unchecked in the candy store and trust that he wont make a mess of it.
Not  because there's someone looking over his shoulder watching him. But because he's a good and trustworthy man.

I’m not sure why I posted this, maybe because I feel so…I’m not sure. Happy?  Free, whatever. I just want to share it.
Because to me. it's new, and shainy.
Got the wow factor going on.

I know a lot of you are saying “Well duh you little twat where have you been living.”
Truth is, I’m new to this..and while I do have to trust people in my day to day life, I only have to give them so much of my trust. I trust them to show up at a certain time, I trust them to say or do certain things..I however never let anyone “in” enough to trust them with my vulnerabilities. This is all a very new realization for me.
People don’t hurt me because I don’t “allow” them to hurt me, I don’t give them the chance. That’s not trust in them, that’s trust in my self-protection.
I didn’t know I had an issue with trust.
I thought I was on friendly terms with it.
Apparently..I was dead wrong.

I think I’m getting the hang of this.
&& I gotta say..Its wicked awesome.



Care to add a cent or two?
Maybe tell me when you first opened up?
Or is this something that one is born knowing and I am indeed a twat?

PS: E-flammers will be ignored.

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No, no one is born knowing this, and you are not a "twat".

The step you are taking is a difficult one, impossible for most, I think.

But assuming your partner lives up to his end (and nothing you've said would lead me to believe otherwise), then the "wow factor" is going to last a very long time.

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Hope that makes sense. Sorry for talking on and on. I am very happy for you being so happy.

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ORIGINAL: Stephann

 I don't doubt that if I were to present either with a steaming bowl of feces, that it would be made use of.  

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I'd say fortunately for them, it's not something I care to find out.



Stephan

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Congratualtions on Your happiness....

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ORIGINAL: charlotte12

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ORIGINAL: Stephann

 I don't doubt that if I were to present either with a steaming bowl of feces, that it would be made use of.  

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I'd say fortunately for them, it's not something I care to find out.



Stephan

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People don’t hurt me because I don’t “allow” them to hurt me, I don’t give them the chance. That’s not trust in them, that’s trust in my self-protection.

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Until you had seen him enough, talked to him enough to really know that he was a good person who merited trust, you shouldn't have extended any unusual amount of it. Now that you know him better, you can trust him further. And as the relationship grows, so does the trust.

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And if I didn't take my shoes off, I'd never experience the cool, wet grass, the warm sand between my toes, the tickle of the surf rushing over my feet...  It is worth a stubbed toe now and then.  And to know that you have trust in someone completely (and they in you), and that neither of you are defined and constrained by letter of a limit, but instead have a trust and respect and spirit that is all at once higher, deeper, and more profound than a line drawn in the sand or a word set in stone, it is beautiful.  WOW.