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RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 9:53:01 AM

MsBearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

...this comunity is so damn rich and there are so many reasons to be attracted to it....

Yummieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Dang, talk about hitting the nail on the head!

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Post #: 21

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 9:56:33 AM

Bearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

...Tops and bottoms exchange pleasure. But many of you power fanatics seem to not understand that. To you, everything related to kink must have some element of power involved. There is a rigid expectation that every relationship is based on some sort of authority structure-even vanilla ones.

When in fact-all that is really happening is that friends and lovers are just enjoying a mutual hobby. Not everything had to fall under the umbrella of some odd sort of "lifestyle."
...

Hmmmmmmmm... Perhaps some see even bondage and pleasuring as an exchange of power; somebody has to be the do-er and somebody has to be the do-ee.

Maybe it's just semantics?

I do not see 'TPE'...even when 24/7 as something that is 'always on'...like baseball. Someone once pointed out that they are a musician...always. It is part of what defines that person. They are a musician. So...they would be a 24/7 musician; in spite of not actually holding an insturment all damn day long. No?

<shrugs> I'm not challenging you RRafe, I'm just wondering if, like EVERYTHING ELSE, there are 'degrees of power'? While I can understand your reluctance to be the slave of a slave...I do not see that as the case for any of the D/s or M/s couples I know, who live 'it' 24/7.
B

I tired D/s in the past-it was pretty smothering feeling to me. I guess I just don't care for the sterotypical expectations it involves.

I didn't mean to mess up the quote box; I left out a bracket!

But to your answer...no...I don't care for sterotypical expectations, either.

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Post #: 22

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 11:25:47 AM

slavegirljoy

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Fast Reply: OK, i can see if it's just a casual play-date or 'scene', there would probably be little, or no need for a power dynamic to take place. It's just a matter of deciding who's going to be in charge of the whip. But, i have never seen any relationship, whether a vanilla marriage or bf/gf or, a BDSM-based relationship, that didn't have a power dynamic involved. Even in a 'regular' marriage, i will see that either the wife is telling the husband what to do, most of the time or, the wife is doing what the husband says, most of the time. Even in marriages, where the couple is 'splitting' the power equally, i see power struggles taking place and the power usually fluctuates back and forth between the two but, rarely ever remains evenly split for long. Also, the statement on the OP's profile, referring to the "Superior/inferior dynamic" tells me that she has a very negative view of D/s or M/s relationships. In my M/s relationship, my Master is in charge and i obey Him. It's not a matter of being 'Superior' or 'inferior', except that He is far superior than i am, where fishing is concerned but, i'm getting better at it. And, i am far superior to Him where sewing is concerned and, He has no interest in ever getting better at it. There are things that i can do better and things that He does better but, that doesn't make Him 'Superior' and me 'inferior' and, He is the first to say that. slave joyOwned property of Master David

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RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 11:51:05 AM

SusanofO

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I just hate it when people post something inexplicable, and then abandon the thread.

I'm not answering...unless the OP comes back and explains what they mean, exactly, by their original post.

I'd like to maybe post a comment, but I have no idea what they really meant (no offense to the OP).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/26/2007 11:55:21 AM >

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Post #: 24

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 11:58:12 AM

Celeste43

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Well, until the site gives the option of picking top or bottom instead of dom or sub, people are stuck with these labels.

There's a rope top with a profile on this site who is very clear that he is not interested at all in a relationship with power exchange. He wants an equalitarian relationship with a woman. But when it comes to kink, he does the tying up.

If I ever get to Pittsburgh, I'd ask him to suspend me assuming I could talk The Man into it. We don't have any way to do that here that wouldn't involve inconvenient questions from the brood.

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Post #: 25

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 12:02:34 PM

SusanofO

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Well, If the OP was trying to say that D/s isn't the same as appreciating kinky activity, then I agree.

However, most men I have corresponded with on this site are interested in some form of D/s (Dominance and submission). Either alone, or more often in conjunction with BDSM (a.k.a. "kinky") activity.

There are others are perhaps, on this site who are interested in BDSM kinky activity only (flogging, spanking, etc.)- with no hint of one person being "in charge" - which is fine for them, but not what I am seeking, overall.

One thing I do hope is that people are able to be honest with themselves regarding which of these options they truly are seeking. I always ask people anyway with whom I think I may be able to develop a relationship, but IMO it's always good if they've already asked themselves that question as well.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/26/2007 12:05:40 PM >

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Post #: 26

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 12:11:57 PM

daddysprop247

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actually i've noticed much the opposite of what the OP and RRafe are talking about....a heavy discrimination against those who are interested in and live according to a power exchange as opposed to those who are "libertines"...more focused on the bdsm activities, with no interest in a power exchange of any sort. this is something i've noticed both on and offline, in lifestyle communities which are relatively large and diverse. there are people my Master and i have met who use some of the same labels we do...like Master and slave..but mean it for erotic/kink purposes only, and who have totally egalitarian relationships. then when they meet and spend some time with us, are disgusted and repelled by the fact that we DO have a power dynamic, that he is truly a Master and i truly a slave, and kink has nothing to do with it.

so really it's likely all a matter of what side of the fence you're sitting on...i've always felt a lack of acceptance and understanding from the pure bdsm folks, those who would truly make the Marquis de Sade proud. but at the same time i can see how the fundamental differences in values and beliefs could make such people feel a lack of acceptance and understanding from my end.

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Post #: 27

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 5:13:30 PM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Well, until the site gives the option of picking top or bottom instead of dom or sub, people are stuck with these labels.

There's a rope top with a profile on this site who is very clear that he is not interested at all in a relationship with power exchange. He wants an equalitarian relationship with a woman. But when it comes to kink, he does the tying up.

If I ever get to Pittsburgh, I'd ask him to suspend me assuming I could talk The Man into it. We don't have any way to do that here that wouldn't involve inconvenient questions from the brood.

I'm the same way. As far as relationships with power struggles? Classic case of insecurity. In other words, poor choices create poor matches. We all have degrees of dominance and submission in our personalities.

Mine is pretty much in equilibrium.......That peaceful balance means that I have no desire to either dominate or submit. And anyone who wanted to do either with me, would find herself being shown the door.

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Post #: 28

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 5:32:33 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'll just point out that a friend beating a friend doesn't require a top or bottom at all. It's just friends hanging out doing stuff together.

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Post #: 29

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 5:33:36 PM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'll just point out that a friend beating a friend doesn't require a top or bottom at all. It's just friends hanging out doing stuff together.

Unless one friend always takes the top role.

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Post #: 30

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 6:18:59 PM

RRafe

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Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Well, If the OP was trying to say that D/s isn't the same as appreciating kinky activity, then I agree.

However, most men I have corresponded with on this site are interested in some form of D/s (Dominance and submission). Either alone, or more often in conjunction with BDSM (a.k.a. "kinky") activity.

There are others are perhaps, on this site who are interested in BDSM kinky activity only (flogging, spanking, etc.)- with no hint of one person being "in charge" - which is fine for them, but not what I am seeking, overall.

One thing I do hope is that people are able to be honest with themselves regarding which of these options they truly are seeking. I always ask people anyway with whom I think I may be able to develop a relationship, but IMO it's always good if they've already asked themselves that question as well.

- Susan

If one has unresolved internal conflicts-they will often manifest as conflicts with others.

The outward journey begins from within.

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Post #: 31

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 6:24:29 PM

RumpusParable

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Nevermind.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 9/26/2007 6:28:21 PM >

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Post #: 32

RE: Libertines - 9/26/2007 7:34:43 PM

RRafe

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